


Bite

by hedera_helix



Series: Crossing [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, M/M, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 15:08:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 72,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11716896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedera_helix/pseuds/hedera_helix
Summary: No one forced him to cross the border, not on any of the times he did it. No one forced him to leave his scent everywhere, to alert the alpha to his presence. It was all his choice, but he felt and feels even now like he was driven by something that wasn’t rational or logical, something out of his control. Like he has gone against himself and still done exactly what he’s supposed to. Like he’s gone against his pack and still, like he’s done right by everyone. Because he knows what the bite means. He knows it like he knows the smell of the alpha, like he recognised his voice – like he knows that all of it will be trouble.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *sweats nervously*
> 
> my [tumblr](http://hedera-helixwriteseruri.tumblr.com)  
> my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

The tape pulls on the small hairs on the back of his head and Levi hisses a swear under his breath at the shivers it sends down his spine, ripping the rest of the folded-up bandage off in one swift motion. He frowns at the blood before tilting his head to see the marks on the nape of his neck. The bite is there, deep and screaming-red, a testimony to the strength of the jaws that made it. And it hasn’t healed, not like it should have. It hasn’t vanished like his cuts and scrapes do.

“Fuck.”

Levi touches the edges of the injury softly with the tips of his fingers, wondering how deep into his flesh the cuts really go. That alpha had fangs like sabres, a humongous fucking beast; even the memory makes Levi shudder. He coats a few pieces of toilet paper in disinfectant, drawing a sharp breath at the stinging pain when he slaps the wet mess onto the wound. Beyond it, his mind is racing, coming up with explanations. It’s from an alpha. That’s why it won’t heal. It’s just taking a bit longer. The bleeding has stopped, so it _is_ healing. Nothing to worry about. He just needs to be patient, hide it for a couple of days. No one will notice. No one will care. It’ll be fine, like it never happened.

When he brings his hand to his face, Levi can still smell it beyond the alcohol of the sanitizer, that blood-chilling scent of the alpha. He can feel the heat of his breath on the skin of his neck as if the previous night he hadn’t been wearing his fur, as if he had been as defenceless then as he is now. He remembers putting up a fight, but everything before the bite is hazy, and everything after it even hazier. He made it back to the house, that much he knows, crawled under the pelts and furs on his bed after a hasty patch-up in the bathroom, where the flickering fluorescent bulb made his blood look black against his skin. Everything felt like such a mistake then and Levi wishes he felt better about it now, but the stinging pain of the disinfectant that lingers in his flesh makes him hiss another swear under his breath.

He pulls a new bandage from the first-aid box, folds it up and tapes it onto his neck before cleaning up all the evidence and pulling his hood up. He throws the old bandage and the disinfectant-soaked paper into the masonry oven, where the latter bursts into a bright flame that dies before Levi has the chance to close the hatch on it. He walks over to the fridge, acts like everything’s normal as he stops to listen: Kenny’s still asleep, passed out in his room, smelling like cheap whiskey and smoke. Levi goes for the venison, cuts himself a few slices that he throws into the pan. A few seconds on either side and he doesn’t even wait for them to rest before wolfing them down with a cup of lukewarm coffee. He doesn’t remember the bite again until he swings his backpack onto his shoulder before walking out of the house.

He runs into Traute by the door, and he wonders whether the woman actually sleeps on their porch like everyone says she does. He glances at the empty bottles by the rocking chair and catches the scent of their contents on her breath when she speaks.

“You went out again last night.”

“Mind your own fucking business,” Levi tells her in a growl that makes her step back and whistle.

“Look at the puppy getting feisty,” she says and laughs; Levi fucking hates that word, “and so early in the morning.”

“Early for me and late for you,” Levi mutters. “Fucking alkie bitch.”

“I can stop drinking whenever I fucking want,” she says to him, something sharp in her tone; he waves it off when he passes her on the stairs. “And what the fuck would you know about it anyway?”

Levi doesn’t bother to turn around and doesn’t answer, just keeps walking along the trail leading away from the house between the trailers. He can still hear Ralph’s snoring at the edge of the camp even though his RV is the first one from the house. It keeps mixing with birdsong until it disappears, and only then does Levi feel like he can breathe. He touches the bandaged wound at the back of his neck absently as he waits for Farlan, listening for his car and picking it up long before it drives out of the bend in the road. He jumps in quickly and buckles up – Farlan’s such a stickler about that.

“You look like shit,” Farlan greets him, turning his eyes back on the road as soon as he’s done peeking under Levi’s hood.

“A good fucking morning to you too,” Levi tells him, wincing as the wound hits the headrest of the car seat. He can smell it again, even over Farlan’s hair wax and body spray. It makes his neck feel hot and fills his mouth with a strange taste, like blood and raw flesh and something foreign, something salty and heady and–

“Did you study for the bio quiz last night?”

Levi grits his teeth and mutters a quick “no”, only now realising to look through his backpack and noticing he only has half of the books he needs, and several which he doesn’t. He can smell Farlan’s frustration, but it’s still somehow even worse to hear it.

“That’s okay,” the other boy tells him, keeping his eyes on the road. “It’s okay, it’s only 20 per cent of your grade so you can still make that up if you do well in the exam. It’s no big deal.”

“Yeah,” Levi replies, wondering once more how they got to this, to Farlan acting like his private guidance counsellor. “Yeah, I’ll just study hard for the exam.”

“Yeah,” Farlan replies, glancing to his right. “No big deal. I’ll help you. We’ll study together. It’ll be fine.”

Levi sighs and rolls down the window, leaning his elbow on the frame while Farlan mutters something about freezing to death. He breathes deep, letting the cool air rushing to his face overpower the stench of the wound, letting go of the anxiety he feels because of it – those lingering shreds of panic from the previous night. Levi waits until he’s caught that last, intense scent of the pines before granting Farlan his wish and rolling down the window just as they drive out of the woods. It’s all cars and concrete and people after that anyway; nothing to remind Levi of home.

He spends his lessons in the usual haze, his ears picking up almost anything except what the teacher is saying, right down to the moment when someone runs his keys over the side of the chemistry teacher’s car. He keeps finding his hand rubbing at the bite, and whenever he does he forces it down onto the desk instead. It brings with it that scent, scattering Levi’s thoughts even further, taking them back to the night, the chase, the terror, to that moment of searing pain when the alpha finally caught him. Levi contemplates cutting out after lunch, but decides to stay for gym for Farlan’s sake – he was always less likely to get the shit kicked out of him if he wasn’t alone.

It’s another run in the woods behind the school, but Levi doesn’t mind it – better than any team sport he’s ever wasted time on. He keeps his pace slow for Farlan though his own feet burn to take him past everyone, even the smug track team captain at the head of the column who always smells like he’s just finished wanking in the girls’ toilet. It’s only when Farlan’s running grinds to a slow walk that Levi lowers the hood of his hoodie, watching the rest of the class disappear behind the trees ahead.

“What happened to your neck?”

Levi raises his hand to touch the bandage again but stops it midway, giving Farlan a shrug.

“I was in the woods last night. Something jumped up and bit me.”

“Jesus,” Farlan huffs, walking up to him and grabbing the edge of the bandage, peering under it until Levi moves away. “Did you get it checked out?”

“It’s no big deal,” Levi says, raising his voice to cut Farlan off. “Seriously, it’s nothing. Probably just a dog.”

“Do you have any idea how many different diseases you can get from an animal bite?” Farlan argues, speeding up to catch Levi. “You could have rabies. When was the last time you got a tetanus shot? Are the muscles in your jaw spasming?”

“No, but the ones in my hand will be soon if you don’t stop that,” Levi tells him. “It’s nothing.”

“Fine,” Farlan agrees, though Levi can smell his worry and reluctance. “But if you start foaming at the mouth, you’d better stay the hell away from me.”

“Whatever you say,” Levi promises, speeding to a lazy jog that Farlan fights to keep up with.

When Farlan drops him off at the edge of the forest, Levi still needs to promise to call him if he feels any tightness around his jaw or if he suddenly spikes a fever and starts fearing water. He watches the other boy drive away before marching back to the camp, past the trailers and up to the cooking pit behind the house, led by the greasy stench of frying meat. Chest forward, head held high, heartbeat steady, he gives Ralph barely a glance when he steps up and snatches a couple of half raw steaks and pops them onto a paper plate.

“Kenny home?” he asks Ralph who shakes his head.

“He had to go up to town to deal with some fucking… I don’t know, something about the noise complaint or something.”

“Traute go with him?”

“When doesn’t she?” Ralph asks him back. “Surprised that bitch doesn’t follow him to the john.”

Levi nods, tearing a piece out of his steak. “I’ve got somewhere I need to go too so… Make sure everyone gets something to eat – and I mean everyone. Got it?”

“Aye, Captain,” Ralph replies; the resentment is so strong Levi can taste it in his mouth. Like burned flesh. “Everyone eats – even if it’s offcuts.”

Levi nods again and turns but gets brought back around by another shout from Ralph before he’s reached the backdoor.

“Can you smell that?”

Levi frowns, fighting to steady his heart after the beat it skips. “Smell what?”

“I don’t know,” Ralph says, sniffing the air with a confused look on his face. “I thought I could smell it this morning too. Smells like… I don’t know, like some other pack.”

Levi tries a laugh; it comes out as barely more than a cough. “You really think someone would be that fucking stupid?” he asks Ralph. “Can’t see anyone being dumb enough to risk getting ripped to shreds.”

“Maybe,” Ralph half-agrees. “Guess it means whoever spawned you was.”

Levi bares his teeth but doesn’t speak. He can hear the man snapping the tongs behind his back when he runs up the steps and into the house, closing the door of his room behind himself before throwing his backpack onto the floor, letting his heartrate rush to catch up with his fear. He touches the bandage again and smells his hand, groaning at the stink of it. The smell has grown stronger, and no wonder Ralph was able to pick it up. It tells Levi things he never wanted to know – things about the alpha. He’s strong, healthy and fit, and his pack reflects that. He’s older than Levi, maybe by as much as a decade. He’s the one Levi kept smelling out there on the border, whose marks he kept spoiling with his own, the one that’s been hunting him for months.

Without wasting any more time, Levi stuffs the steaks into his mouth and changes his clothes, pulling on his other hoodie from the pile of dirty laundry. He’s still chewing the meat when he runs back out of the house, grabbing his helmet from the porch and getting onto his dirt bike. He kicks the engine into life and speeds off, following his usual path as far as the rock quarry. He leaves the bike behind and continues on foot, navigating more by smell than by sight; everything looks so different in daylight. He catches the marks he’s left by the trail easily enough, speeding to a nervous run the closer to the border he gets. When he finally crosses it, he does so with a shudder and a hiss of a swear; it hasn’t been twenty-four hours since he swore to himself that he’d never again go anywhere near it.

It was the smell that had lured him over the boundary the first time, that sweet scent that lingered in the air that told of an abundance of prey, of clean waters, of acres and acres of uncharted land to explore. Everything on that side smelled better, like the very air had made a sudden shift where Kenny’s scent marks ended. That first time Levi sneaked around in his fur, ears turning constantly to pick up any sound, even the quietest rustle of the brush. The smell of the alpha was everywhere, nerve-wracking, threatening – tempting. It wasn’t the scent of clean water that had Levi coming back. It was him.

Even now the knowledge exists as a deep certainty, like an instinct, like one of those things the wolf in him knows better than he does. Levi has always trusted it, nowhere more than in the woods at night where he lets that side take over. They have always been blissful, those moments of not having to think, those moments when all the unnecessary slips away, when there are no bio exams or Ralph or worrying about Kenny’s drinking. Before last night, those moments were an unbroken chain of the purest form of freedom Levi has ever known.

He stops at the edge of the clearing not far from the border, clinging to a tree as he looks across the area, wishing now he had the strength and safety of the wolf in his body. Everything’s different now and Levi knows he would find it all much less menacing if it weren’t for that smell that lingers wherever he turns; in the grass, on the trees, in the earth beneath his feet. He kneels down and catches a tuft of dark grey hair that’s gotten stuck on the bark of the pine tree, remembers how hard his left side brushed against it when he finally started running again.

He walks forward into the open space, glancing upward at the sky he caught only glimpses of the previous night when he wrestled with the alpha. The ground underneath is spattered with blood. When he spots it, Levi can suddenly hear his own pained, whimpering yelp in his ears again, has to lift his hand to the bandage when he recalls that moment when the alpha’s fangs sank into his flesh. And still it wasn’t the bite that made him push past his wolf-self, that made his consciousness crash down into the situation. It was that stench of the alpha wolf, the heat of him that made Levi panic. Now that he sees the signs of struggle on the spring-damp ground – the paw and claw marks, the tufts of fur, the drops of blood – Levi doesn’t understand how he ever managed to get away. The alpha could overpower him with his size alone, being easily two times the size of Levi’s own wolf. He can’t remember it easing its hold – fuck, he can’t remember anything beyond the moment when he realised the beast was pulling him toward itself from the hold it had on his neck. The memory raises an acrid taste into Levi’s mouth.

The sound of car doors slamming in the distance brings Levi back to his feet and sends him running from the clearing. He can hear two people approaching the same area and he hides behind a cluster of low-growing bushes, cursing his bad luck when he realises the clearing and the strangers are now downwind from him. He takes a moment to rub mud behind his ears and stops to listen, staying as low and quiet as he possibly can.

“But I do agree, we should try and sort this out as fast as we can,” one of the men says and as soon as Levi hears him, he knows; the voice is low and powerful, convincing and comforting all at once. “At least the problem with trespassing has been resolved – to some degree. It’ll be reassuring for the pack.”

“Let’s hope the rest of it will go as smoothly as that,” the other man replies, falling quiet for a moment before replying. “It’s not far from the border. He almost got away again.”

“He is fast,” the alpha says. “Very fast. But his stamina needs work before he can truly be an asset.”

“You think he’ll make a hunter?”

“Yes,” the man affirms. “I have a feeling it’s what he’s doing for his current pack, so I see no problem there – once he’s been accepted, of course.”

“Right,” the other man says, sounding hesitant. “That might take a while, all things considered.”

“Well, we have time,” the alpha assures him. “I know my reasons aren’t all clear to you, so I’m asking for your trust in this.”

“You’ve got it,” the man promises at once; was he the beta, then? Levi doesn’t have time to think further when the alpha continues.

“He’s been here today,” he says, “and not too long ago either.”

“Yeah,” the other man agrees; Levi can hear him sniffing the air. “Can you smell that? It smells like–”

“Bleach, I know.”

“You think they’re trying to cover up something?”

The alpha stays quiet for a long while. “No,” he finally says; warmly, like he’s smiling. “I think he just likes to clean.”

Levi draws a quick, sharp breath through his teeth and gets up, speeding at once to a run though he knows the men can hear the echo of his steps. The border isn’t far and he crosses it without inciting another chase. He jogs hastily up to the rock quarry and hops onto his bike, riding it until he runs out of gas a mile before the house. When he finally gets there, he pulls his hood up and rushes into the bathroom, changing the bandage and washing the sweat-infused mud off his neck. The smell of the wound is even stronger now and without knowing what else to do, without knowing how else to cover it up, Levi starts scrubbing the floors with bleach, savouring the stinging feeling as it burns his hands, which heal themselves as soon as they start to hurt. He’s still at it when Kenny finally comes home, shrugging out of his leather jacket at the door and throwing his keys on the table. Traute follows him in five seconds later, carrying a bucket of fried chicken.

“If you want to eat, you’d better get rid of that shit,” Kenny barks at Levi. “Smells like the fucking morgue in here.”

Levi gets up at once and drags the bucket and the bleach into the bathroom before returning, waiting by the door of the kitchen until Kenny has sat down with a small mountain of chicken on a paper plate in front of him. He doesn’t realise how hungry he is until he smells the chicken beyond the bleach. Levi tears into it, sitting on the edge of his chair with his hood pulled almost down to his eyebrows. He feels the urge to scratch the bite through the bandages but resists, though it feels hot enough to make the skin of his neck sweat. He pulls his head even further between his shoulders when Kenny speaks up suddenly.

“Ralph said you were gone for the afternoon.”

Levi doesn’t stop to swallow. “Took the bike out for a bit,” he lies quickly, knowing the freshly thawed out ground provides a good excuse. “Ran out of gas though.”

“Well I don’t have any money to give you,” Kenny tells him at once. “If you want to fill her up, you’re gonna have to find a way to pay for it yourself.”

“Right,” Levi mutters; he never expected anything else. “I’ll figure something out.”

Kenny grunts out something resembling approval before they all fall quiet save for the sounds of chewing and gnawing. Levi loses his appetite halfway through his portion of chicken when the heat from the wound starts spreading onto his cheeks. He listens absently to Kenny and Traute talking about the noise complaint and wishes there was a way he could skulk back to his room and lock the door, crawl under the furs on his bed and pretend the past two days never happened. He wants a moment to think back to the conversation he overheard, but fears Kenny would hear the changes in his pulse and focuses on the chicken instead, forcing it down though it nearly makes him sick. He doesn’t get up until the only thing left on his plate is a pile of bones.

“Wait a second,” Kenny speaks out just as Levi’s about to cross the threshold out of the kitchen.

“What?” Levi replies, doing his best to keep his heart steady, using the years of practice he has. “I’ll clean up in the morning. I’ll be up before you anyway.”

“It’s not that,” Kenny says, narrowing his eyes as he looks at Levi and stands up slowly, the hat on his head nearly brushing against the room’s low ceiling. When the man starts walking towards him, Levi does his best to seem annoyed instead of scared. He doesn’t stop until he’s backed Levi into a corner.

“The fuck?” Levi huffs, staring up at his uncle’s face, screwing up his own.

“Something’s off,” Kenny mutters, his voice lowering to a growl. “You don’t smell right.”

Levi can feel his mouth drying out before the man has finished his sentence. He pulls his head between his shoulders again. “It’s just the bleach,” he counters, tone somewhere between angry and careful.

“No, that’s not it,” Kenny says, leaning further down over Levi. “You’ve smelled like that shit before, and this isn’t it.”

Levi yields from the contact and takes a hasty step to his right, slipping past Kenny and the wood-panelled wall to the doorway. “Quit fucking sniffing me,” he snaps, baring his teeth. “Fucking creep.”

“Mind your fucking mouth,” Kenny tells him but doesn’t call after him when he finally leaves the kitchen.

When he gets to his room Levi locks himself in, undressing completely before lying down on his bed and pulling the furs and pelts over his body. The weight of them feels suddenly like the safest thing Levi has in his life. He breathes in their scent, imagines catching glimpses of the lives the deer lived in the woods. The sunlight dripping from the branches of the trees on misty mornings; the small, clear ponds whose surfaces were only disturbed by the small, lapping tongues of the animals who came to drink from them; the clearings that during the summer months grew clovers and buttercups and fireweed. He wonders how much better all those places and sights are on that other pack’s land. Judging by the scents across the border, it’s a veritable paradise.

Levi tries to think back to that conversation he overheard on the clearing, but it seems he can only remember half of it – only the things the alpha said. He rubs at the bite on his neck through the bandage and brings the words back to his mind, but they don’t make much sense to him and even now he cares more about the tone, the warmth of the man’s voice and the smile he could hear on his lips. Levi can feel the warmth from the wound radiating down his back, and though some part of Levi wants to feel sickened by it, there’s that bone-deep certainty, that animal instinct that tells him the heat is there for a reason, that it’s healing him somehow, that it’s giving him another reason to run across the border. The thought is conflicting, comforting and terrifying all at once, like finding out the government has been adding stuff to your water but that the stuff’s supposedly good for you.

Levi closes his eyes and focuses on the wound, on the pulsating, soothing warmth of it that takes over the anguish and lulls him into a deep sleep. He wakes from it with a jolt a few hours later, scrabbling to ignore the dream he had when he realises he’s come all over himself and the bed. Scraps of images still flood his mind when he starts frantically cleaning himself up with a discarded t-shirt, flashes of the alpha. At the start of Levi’s dream he was a man, faceless but with the kind of body Levi usually pictures when he’s jerking off: thick thighs, hard pecks, and abs that go on for miles. It wasn’t until the end when they changed, when they slipped into their fur and started the chase, the same one they’d been doing for months. This time the alpha caught him. This time he didn’t get away at the last minute.

Levi looks at the white stains on the worn, black t-shirt and screws up his face before throwing the shirt on top of the laundry pile and crawling back under the pelts, lying down on his stomach to keep his cock pressed hard against the mattress, like punishing it for the betrayal. He touches the bite again and shudders, wondering if it was responsible for the dream, struggling to organise any of the thoughts and feelings in his head. No one forced him to cross the border, not on any of the times he did it. No one forced him to leave his scent everywhere, to alert the alpha to his presence. It was all his choice, but he felt and feels even now like he was driven by something that wasn’t rational or logical, something out of his control. Like he has gone against himself and still done exactly what he’s supposed to. Like he’s gone against his pack and still, like he’s done right by everyone. Because he knows what the bite means. He knows it like he knows the smell of the alpha, like he recognised his voice – like he knows that all of it will be trouble.

 

When it finally happens, Levi has managed to make it through another two days without Kenny picking up the scent by hiding under his hood and by staying out for as long as he’s been able to every day. By then the bite has stopped bleeding for good, but the stench of it hasn’t gone anywhere, and neither have the dreams it has brought along with it. Levi can hear them long before they get to the house and even more than that, he can smell them, he can sense the tension they bring when they pass the trailers on their way up to the house. It electrifies the air and makes the hairs at the back of Levi’s head stand on end as he rushes to the door of his bedroom, peering out into the kitchen where Kenny’s head has whipped up from his game of cards, neck stiff, like he’s listening too.

The knock echoes through the house and makes Levi close his door with a bang, makes him lean against it with his heart tearing a hole through his chest. He can hear Kenny walking down the hallway and he shakes his head to snap out of the panic, looks across the room at the window and wonders whether he should make a run for it. He picks up his backpack and pours out the school books, throws in a few clothes before he stops to think and realises if he wants to live in the wild, he’ll need to wolf it out, at least until the weather gets warmer. He throws the backpack away, runs his hands through his hair and looks around himself at the meagre things he owns, realising he has nothing he gives a shit about – not enough to want to drag it along at least. He knows lone wolves don’t survive but at that moment even that impossibility seems more likely than surviving anything Kenny is going to have in store for him. All the while he can hear them talking, Kenny and the alpha. He’s already at the window when the shout rings out, freezing him to the spot. In the end he can’t fight it; lifting his hand to reach for the window feels like trying to lift a sack of cement.

Levi returns to the door and cracks it open, pulling his head between his shoulders before he skulks out of the room and down the hallway, wishing he could stop to peer around the corner before walking out but knowing it would be a sign of weakness. He grits his teeth and steps forward, feeling Kenny’s eyes on him as soon as he does. The smell of the alpha is overpowering, so strong Levi doesn’t realise to look at him until something infiltrates that scent, a feeling so intense it makes Levi shudder, makes the bite on his neck feel cold for the first time. It’s fear and dismay, like a shock that runs from the man to Levi and as soon as Levi sees him, he understands what it’s about.

The alpha is smartly dressed in hiking boots, straight beige trousers and an expensive olive green parka. He has neatly-combed blond hair and thick brows over striking blue eyes. His body is healthy and strong, he eats well and takes care of himself. All this Levi can tell from a single look, a single sniff – this, and something else. The alpha is in his late twenties, and he’s looking over at Levi like he’s horrified by the scrawny seventeen-year-old he sees in front of him, like Levi isn’t what he expected. Levi can pick up the thoughts that occurs to the alpha at that moment, can feel them in his body: too young, much too young; this was a mistake; if only there was a way to take it back. It’s a “no”, the strongest “no” Levi has ever heard and felt in his entire life, so irrefutable, so overpowering that it bars Levi’s breath, makes him feel so ashamed that the only thing he can do is pull further into the hood of his shirt and grit his teeth against the enormity of it. It turns the scent of the alpha from something tempting into something that makes Levi feel sick to his stomach.

“Hello,” a soft voice calls out, and only then Levi notices the older woman accompanying the alpha; his mother, she’s also blonde, and her eyebrows have that same darker shade but her mouth is different, thin lipped and gently smiling. “You must be Levi.”

“So what the fuck do you want with him?” Kenny barks a question at the alpha, who seems to flinch out of his thoughts. “He steal something of yours or something?”

“It’d be better if we talked inside,” the alpha replies; Levi catches him straightening his posture and lifting his chin. “It’s not as straight-forward as that.”

During the moment Kenny takes to hesitate with his hand on the door frame, Levi has time to think a quiet wish for him to tell them both to go fuck themselves. Instead, Kenny opens the door reluctantly, walking ahead of them into the kitchen.

“You better not have fucked anything up,” he growls at Levi who stays behind at the door, watching them all take seats around the hardwood table.

“Very cosy,” the woman comments looking around at the panelled walls and dark wooden cupboards. “Lovely old property.”

“So what do you want?” Kenny asks again. “The faster you spit it out the faster I can get you the fuck out of my territory.”

“Since the subject of the discussion is your nephew, I’d imagine he should be a part of it, don’t you?” the alpha asks him just as sternly.

The statement makes Kenny suck his teeth for a moment before he nods at Levi and barks. “You. Sit.”

Levi walks over and takes a seat as far away from everyone else as possible, crossing his arms on the table, glancing up at the alpha before turning his gaze on the black fabric of his hoodie. The moment of silence is full of everyone’s eyes on him, of tension and curiosity and anger, and that lingering “no” that still radiates from the alpha toward Levi.

“Were you aware that your nephew has been coming over to our land?” the alpha says, his voice rumbling, like there’s a hidden threat in the words.

Levi watches as Kenny’s crossed hands tighten around each other for a few seconds before he shrugs.

“So?” he snaps. “You telling me you came all this way ‘cause some brat pissed on your yard a couple times?”

“Sixteen times.”

Levi sinks further into his hoodie as Kenny’s head whips around. He didn’t know he’d done it so often – the times started blurring together after the first month or so. He can hear the heel of Kenny’s boot scratching the floor.

“Well you can be sure as hell he won’t do it again,” Kenny growls, directing his words more to Levi than the visitors. “I’ll make sure of that. So you can both just get back to where you came from and–”

“I’m afraid it’s not as simple as that,” the alpha says and Levi holds his breath, waiting for the man to continue. “There was an incident earlier this week which ended in… what I’ve come to realise is a very unfortunate way.”

Levi can sense the moment when Kenny understands, when he connects the dots; the smell, the sudden appearance of these people, Levi’s skulking, suspicious behaviour. He half expects Kenny to walk over and yank the hood off his head, exposing the wound that he still keeps bandaged. Instead he feels the focus of Kenny’s anger changing and turning to the other alpha.

“You claimed a fucking kid?” the man whispers, hands closing into fists. “You _claimed_ my fucking nephew?”

“I understand that it’s a–”

“You fucking piece of shit,” Kenny interrupts in a low voice that sounds like nothing but danger to Levi. “You some kind of cradle-robbing perv?”

“There’s no need for language like that,” the woman suddenly snaps so sharply Levi instinctively straightens his posture. “My son has assured me that–”

“I don’t give a flying fuck about what your son has assured you of,” Kenny cuts in again. “The brat is seventeen years old and whatever this bastard did to him is fucking sick.”

“He can tell you himself,” the alpha says, still as calm as before. “I did bite him, yes, but that’s it. And believe me, Mr Ackerman, had I not meant for him to get away, he would not have.”

Suddenly Levi remembers the moment when the immense pressure of those jaws subsided, when he was able to catch the ground beneath his paws and sprint to a run.

“He’s been leaving his scent on both sides of the border for months,” the alpha continues. “We’ve been trying to catch him since late January. It’s obvious that this behaviour has not been accidental.”

“The nerve of you people,” Kenny says, scoffing. “You come into _my_ house, on _my_ territory and tell me _my_ nephew has been baiting you to fucking rape him?”

“Again, I did not–”

“I know what you said,” Kenny growls. “What the fuck did you imagine you’d come here for? To ask my permission to take my nephew away to be your personal fuck toy?”

“Of course not,” the woman says, sounding much angrier than her son. “What an absolutely disgusting thing to say.”

“Well whatever you came here for, you can forget it,” Kenny barks, pointing one of his long fingers at the alpha’s chest. “Twelve years I’ve looked after him. Twelve fucking years I’ve put into feeding him, making sure he has clothes on his back, training him to take over this pack after me. He’s _my fucking nephew_. Do you get that you hippie son of a-”

“Mr Ackerman,” the alpha says. “I understand your concern and like I said, I find this whole situation very unfortunate. It’s clear to me now that many mistakes were made in all this, not least of all from my own part. But the fact of the matter is that your nephew is now a part of our pack – and based on his behaviour I find it hard to believe that a part of him didn’t wish for this outcome.”

“Is that true?” Kenny asks, finally turning to Levi who now feels the whole wave of his wrath. “You want to go along with these fucking freaks? You want to go live with them?”

Levi looks up from the table top, surveying the faces in front of him, from the alpha with his thick, furrowed brows to Kenny’s angry scowl, to the old woman whose eyes look back to his, full of a kind of sadness that makes Levi shiver. He doesn’t need to think. He can feel the response on his tongue, can feel it in Kenny’s anger and the silent “no” that still permeates the air around him.

“No,” Levi mutters, pulling his shoulders close to his ears. “No, I don’t want to go anywhere.”

“There you fucking go,” Kenny says, turning back to the alpha. “He doesn’t want to go with you. He’s going to stay right here and if you people try to do something about that I’m going to have the police on your asses so fast it’s going to make your fucking heads spin. If you so much as come on my turf, you’ll be facing twenty fucking years in a federal prison for statutory rape.”

“Well I can see we won’t get anywhere like this,” the alpha says, getting to his feet. “Perhaps we can return to the subject when you’ve both–”

“We won’t be returning to any fucking subject,” Kenny tells him, standing up and starting to pace back and forth on his side of the table. “You think I didn’t mean what I said? You so much as look at him and I’ll rip your throat out. He’s not coming with you. Not now, not ever. You get that?”

“Obviously he’s so much better off here with you,” the old woman says, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Every child wants a parent who doesn’t even notice they’ve been running around in the woods at night for months, don’t they?”

“You fucking telling me what to do?” Kenny asks her, though she’s already walking away. “When you raised this sick fuck?”

“As I said, this discussion is over,” the alpha says. “We’ll show ourselves out.”

“Yeah, get the fuck out of here!” Kenny shouts, following the pair into the hallway as Levi sinks his head onto his arms, breathing in the stench of his own sweat and the bite that still oozes that smell. “Liberal cunts! If I see you here again I’ll fucking kill you!”

The sound of the door slamming makes Levi flinch and tense up. His ears are ringing so badly he can barely hear Kenny’s footsteps when he marches back into the kitchen, smelling of rage and disappointment.

“What the fuck have you done?”

Levi presses his forehead against the table and pulls his hood over his eyes, shielding the bite on his neck with his hands.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon!
> 
> my [tumblr](http://hedera-helixwriteseruri.tumblr.com)  
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

It takes five little pebbles thrown at his window to wake Farlan from his sleep; Levi can tell when he does from the sudden burst of light, the soft glow of his bedside lamp. When he comes to the window, his hair messy and his mouth splitting to a yawn, he barely glances down before stopping to listen, giving Levi the sign of the coast being clear after ten odd seconds. Levi uses the railing of the porch to push himself onto the roof, attempting to lighten his steps when he hears the old wood creaking under his feet. He closes the window quietly after himself when he’s climbed into the room.

“You okay?” Farlan whispers only once Levi has taken a seat next to him on the bed. “Something come up?”

Levi nods as he unties the laces of his shoes and he’s not sure himself which question he’s answering. His hands pause on the worn strings and he grits his teeth for a moment before looking up at Farlan.

“Can I stay here for a couple of days?” he asks in a whisper as quiet as the other boy’s. “Things back at the house are…”

His words trail off when he fails to think of a word for it. Going from bad to worse? Absolute fucking shit? He scoffs bitterly and catches Farlan’s nod from the corner of his eye.

“Sure,” the boy promises, rubbing his eyes and yawning again before grabbing a hold of Levi’s backpack and pulling it off his shoulders. “Are you hungry? Should I sneak us up something to eat?”

Levi shakes his head. “It’s okay,” he whispers, kicking off his shoes and lifting his feet onto the bed. “You should go back to sleep. Sorry for waking you.”

Farlan brushes off the comment with a wave of his hand. “I was having a weird dream anyway,” he says, yawning again as he crawls back into bed.

Levi undresses quickly down to his underwear before joining him. They lie there, face to face, nudging at each other’s feet, and Levi wonders how many times they’ve done this by now: he lost count years ago.

“You want to talk about it?” Farlan asks him quietly.

Levi shakes his head. There’s too much there that he wouldn’t be able to explain. The sympathy in Farlan’s eyes still makes him cringe. The smell of his pity is pungent even lying in the two-week old sheets.

“You can if you want to, you know,” Farlan says, and not for the first time either. Levi nods but still doesn’t speak.

The other boy falls asleep quickly but Levi lies awake for hours, trying to relax, trying to let the familiar scents of Farlan’s home comfort him. He thinks of the few items of clothing and his school books which he packed hastily into his backpack before leaving the house a few hours earlier when he couldn’t force himself to ignore Kenny’s ranting anymore. He’d been muttering at Traute, blaming her for not keeping a closer eye on Levi and for letting him run wild and “get molested by that cradle-robbing alpha”. They’d both been drunk, and Traute had been nearly in tears over the accusations. Levi had felt sorry for her. Not that Kenny didn’t blame Levi as well – he’d shouted at him until his voice was raw – but somehow it felt worse to listen to her try to explain herself than to face Kenny’s raging head on.

Levi brings his fingers onto the skin of his neck thoughtfully. The bite has healed but has left behind a scar, the first scar that Levi has ever gotten. For the first few days it screamed red when he peered at it in the mirror, but it has since grown white – like a zero rolled over onto its side, a perfect metaphor for the turmoil and emptiness it has brought into Levi’s life. At the house the smell it still emits grows quickly into a stench he can’t cover up, but here, in Farlan’s bed, the scent of it is almost pleasant, healthy and inviting, just like the other pack’s lands, just like the clean and fresh scent they themselves carry. He remembers the smell, how it clung to the alpha and his mother, that moment of delight that turned quickly into humiliation when the man turned his eyes on Levi. The rational part of his mind keeps remembering to be grateful that the alpha didn’t want him after all – but that outright horror and disgust that bled into the rejection makes Levi grit his teeth, makes him hurt and bristle with anger.

And they’ve got someone keeping an eye on him now, some fucking enormous guy who Levi suspects is the pack’s beta. Levi’s seen him lurking about the school, driving one of those pretentious eco-friendly cars that cost a fucking fortune and run on potato peels or sunlight or some shit like that. So far the giant hasn’t made any move toward Levi, and he’s grudgingly done the same, though he shudders every time he sees the guy, who looks way too big for that tiny ass car.

It’s not a mystery to Levi what they’re after. Everyone in his pack can smell the change in him now, though Kenny has refused to address it with the others. Levi knows they talk about him behind his back but he chooses to ignore it, wilfully keeps himself from listening in on the things they say. He’s ignored his wolf too for going on two weeks even though it makes him restless and short-tempered. He knows where that instinct he has when he’s in his furs wants to guide him; back over the border, to the clearing and beyond. He doesn’t want to name the things that instinct tells him he’ll find there. He doesn’t want to make comparisons between what is and what could be. And after all, to him right now they don’t seem so different – just rejection against rejection.

Levi turns to look at Farlan whose closed lids flutter as he dreams. When they met he never thought they’d be good friends. They started spending time together because neither one of them had anyone else, the faggot and the white trash piece of shit who sat together at lunch so they wouldn’t have to eat alone every day. But now the other boy feels to Levi like the only family he really has – the only pack he feels a part of. Only that thought can calm him enough to make him sleep the couple of hours before they have to get up for school.

He stays at Farlan’s for three days; it’s the first time he’s done his homework every day since before high school. The other boy’s parents never notice that he’s there – they’ve been doing this long enough to perfect the deception. But Levi can always tell when it’s time to leave. He can smell it off Farlan, the slightest hint of frustration about not having the space and solitude he’s used to. Still, when Levi tells him he’s going back home after school one day, the other boy looks at him with worry and asks him if he’s sure.

“Yeah,” Levi tries to assure him. “Kenny’ll have a fit if I don’t.”

It’s not exactly true, but it makes enough sense to Farlan for him to leave the matter be. He drops Levi off at the crossroads near the house and when Levi watches the old Ford Fiesta disappearing behind a bend in the road, he wishes more than anything that he had a car and fifty odd bucks in his pocket so he could drive far away, live in his car and go around the country doing odd jobs for food and gas money. He can almost smell the tension brewing in the camp despite the half-mile still separating him from it.

They’re all around the cook fire as usual, all except Kenny and Traute. Levi feels his stomach growling when he smells the charring pork – the closest thing to red meat that Levi got at Farlan’s was canned tuna on a sandwich. Before he would’ve always walked over, somehow managing to look down on everyone even though he is near a foot shorter than them, but now he doesn’t know what to do. The scar on his neck starts to feel warm under the hood he’s drawn over his head again. It makes Levi decide against joining the others – there might be some meat in the fridge for him to fry up for himself.

“Hey! Pup!”

The shout erupts just as Levi’s skulking up the steps to the door: Ralph. Levi hesitates for a few seconds before stopping, already reaching for the handle. He turns around slowly, keeping his heartbeat steady and meeting Ralph’s eyes.

“The fuck you want?” he growls, and the man’s expression turns grimmer.

“I was gonna ask you the same thing,” he says, absently snapping the tongs he’s holding. “I thought Kenny would’ve found you a new forever-home or some shit.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Levi barks, feeling the heat of the scar raising beads of sweat on his skin. “I’m not going anywhere you piece of shit. Why would I? This is my fucking pack.”

“Is it?” Djel comments from between mouthfuls of meat. “My nose says different. You fucking stink.”

Levi can smell it too, that pungent stench of the strange alpha that wafts up from under his hood and brands him with that title… He won’t even let himself think the word. Instead he turns to Djel and bares his teeth.

“Maybe you’d do better without your fucking ugly beak of a nose,” he snaps. “Maybe one of these nights I’ll slice it off, improve your face a bit.”

Djel lunges forward just as the door in front of Levi flies open and Kenny steps out, shooting three rapid rounds at Djel with Levi’s air gun. The BBs sink into Djel’s chest, leaving red smears on his t-shirt. He howls out of both pain and disappointment before falling back, a litany of swears pouring out of his mouth.

“Anyone else wanna have a go?” Kenny asks, staring them all down from the porch before nodding; Levi catches heads sinking between shoulders, sees someone take a few steps back. “Didn’t think so.”

“You gotta tell us what the fuck is going on, Kenny,” Ralph speaks up just as Kenny has turned back toward the house; a few voices are raised to agree with him. “You fucking owe us that much.”

Levi winces at the words, watching as his uncle turns around slowly, his eyes dark under the wide brim of his hat. Levi can smell the anger coming off him and it makes him grit his teeth.

“What did you just say to me?” Kenny starts, his voice even lower than Levi feared it would be. “Did you just say I _owe_ you something?”

Levi sees Ralph hesitate, smells the few seconds of fear before they’re taken over by more anger-fuelled defiance. Behind him Djel throws the BBs onto the ground when they push out of his body as it heals itself.

“Come on, Kenny,” Ralph tries, his words a plea instead of a challenge this time. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. But the kid stinks. We can all smell that other-”

“And what of it?” Kenny interrupts him. “You think ‘cause you don’t like something I’m gonna go ahead and change it, is that it? You think you’re in charge of that?”

“No, of course-”

“Yeah, that’s right. You’re not in charge – of anything,” Kenny snaps, yanking Levi closer from the crook of his elbow. “You think just ‘cause you don’t like how my nephew smells I’m gonna send him over to those fucking faggots so they can turn him into their fucking chew toy?”

“No, I didn’t mean it like-”

“Yeah, you said that already, that you ‘didn’t mean it’,” Kenny says, turning his voice whiney when he repeats Ralph’s words. “How ‘bout you keep your fucking mouth shut and leave the talking to someone who’s not a complete fucking idiot?”

The smell of Ralph’s anger wafts through the air, but he stands down, saving a couple of steaks from burning to a crisp as the others still look up at Kenny.

“ _I_ run this fucking pack,” he tells them, baring his teeth. “Don’t any of you forget it. And the kid stays for as long as I fucking say he’ll stay, and I don’t want to hear any of you fucking cunts so much as whisper about that. Got it?”

They all mutter in agreement, growing shorter as they yield the rest of their complaints.

“Good,” Kenny snaps, nodding toward the cook fire. “Now eat up – before Ralph burns the rest of the meat.”

He goes back inside the house and pulls Levi along with him, slamming the door and turning Levi around, giving him a hard smack on the side of his head. Levi grits his teeth and draws a sharp breath but doesn’t cry out; the hit was more like a swat with a newspaper anyway.

“What the fuck are you playing at, kid?” Kenny hisses at him, bending down over him to look him in the eye. “Didn’t I teach you how to pick your battles? And where have you been? With that faggot friend of yours?”

“None of your business,” Levi replies, pulling his arm free from Kenny’s grasp and starting to walk toward the kitchen, half expecting Kenny to smack him over the head again. He feels like his heart is shrinking in his chest.

“Though I guess now I have to be more specific, don’t I?” Kenny asks him, following him into the kitchen. “Jesus Christ. You and them are like moths and a flame, aren’t ya?”

Levi doesn’t speak, just opens the fridge and peers inside for a few seconds before taking out a plateful of fried T-bones; he can smell the rare meat through the plastic wrap. He can sense the question Kenny wants to ask, but hopes that the man will chicken out again. He sits down at the table and starts eating, unable to relax until Kenny continues talking.

“Start cleaning up in here after you’re done,” he snaps, drawing Levi’s attention to the sink full of dishes, the crumbs on the floors, the odd stains on the counters. “This place is a shit hole.”

 

Over the next couple of weeks Levi gets into the habit of spending every bit of his free time anywhere except at the house. He goes over to Farlan’s after school more often than not. He loiters around town, even spends a couple of hours sitting at the library to kill time, browsing through books about wolves and coyotes – the beta follows him there too, always keeping his distance, always leaving at half past five. He walks around in the woods until it gets dark, always fighting the burning urge to return to the clearing, ignoring every instinct, silencing the wolf within him and refusing to wear his fur for any number of time, even when the last of the spring days make him shiver. At night he lies awake in his bed, fearing the dreams in which he does give in to the yearning he battles against during the days. He keeps finding his hand on his neck, circling the scar with his fingertips. He wakes up more often than once covered in sweat and come.

With only a week left of school, Levi starts at his usual summer job at the waste treatment plant – the work is hard and he comes back to the house every night smelling like garbage, but the guy who runs the plant knows Kenny and doesn’t mind paying Levi cash in hand at the end of every week and with the money he can finally fill up the tank of his dirt bike. But the joy is short-lived; when he rides it to school on his last day, some asshole slashes the tyres. With Farlan already gone, Levi has no choice but to walk the bike back to the house, bristling with anger which turns quickly into rage when he hears a car slowing down behind him; he doesn’t need to turn around to know who it is.

“Need a ride?”

Levi casts a glare at the beta, gritting his teeth at the size of the man and at the beautiful new-car smell wafting through the window he’s rolled open on the driver’s side of the dark green pick-up.

“When I want to get fucking kidnapped I’ll let you know,” Levi snarls at him; he can hear the man’s scoff over the quiet hum of the engine.

“Looks like someone had something against your tyres,” the giant says, peering through the window at the empty flaps of rubber weighed down by the load of the bike. “I could drop you off at the police station, help you report that if you want.”

“Why the fuck would I do that?” Levi asks him sourly. “A fucking waste of time. What do you think they’d do? Dust my bike for prints, go all CSI on that shit?”

The beta shrugs. “It’s a crime. You should report it.”

“And you should mind your own fucking business,” Levi tells him, pushing the bike along; only eight more miles to the house. “I didn’t ask for your help so beat it.”

“That’s right, you didn’t ask,” the man says, “but it’s alright to accept help when it’s offered, you know.”

Levi glares at the man but doesn’t say anything, just keeps walking. He expects the man to give up after the first half mile, but the car follows him at a stubborn snail’s pace, forcing other drivers to swerve onto the opposing lane to pass; a few of them honk angrily as they do. After another mile, it starts to rain. Levi grits his teeth and pulls his hood over his head. He can smell the beta’s impatience even beyond the misty drizzle.

“You should really get in the car,” he says again. “Visibility’s getting bad. It’s not safe on the road anymore.”

Levi glances behind himself at the fog and rain, setting his jaw even further when he realises the man is right. He casts a look at the pick-up, can already feel the warmth of its interior when he imagines it. But the wolf within him yearns for something else, for its curiosity to be sated, if only for a little while – to get in the car and pick up every scent it can, to learn as much about the pack as it can. There’d be traces of a couple dozen things, easy – but no way of not taking those couple dozen things home with him too. Unless…

“Fine,” he barks at the giant, whose smile is only a little bit smug. “But I’m not going any further than the crossroads. Have to leave time to get the stench of you people off me.”

“That’s fine by me,” the beta tells him, stopping the car by the side of the road and jumping out. Levi watches as he grabs the dirt bike and lifts it onto the back of the pick-up like it weighs no more than a bag of groceries.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Levi huffs, hesitating for a moment before pulling open the door and climbing in after the giant. “If you try anything weird, I swear I’ll fucking crash this car.”

“Why would I try anything?” the man asks him, his tone and expression serious, like he thinks just the suggestion of it is out of place.

Levi pulls his shoulders toward his ears as he leans back in his seat, arms folded over his chest.

“Seatbelt,” the beta says and Levi pulls his on, heaving a loud sigh. Fucking hippies.

As the man starts to drive, Levi takes advantage of his shifting focus and looks around in the car; not much to see, not even an empty cup in the holder. Everything’s shiny and brand new. No leather, all synthetic materials. No one’s eaten in the car, not even had a cup of coffee. Levi can smell the man next to him, the scent of the forest that clings to him just like it clings to everyone in Kenny’s pack, just like it clings to Levi himself. It’s stronger on the man though, and it takes Levi a moment to realise it’s because there’s nothing artificial covering it, no soap, no laundry detergent, not even traces of shampoo in his hair. So different from the overwhelming smell of Farlan’s products Levi usually has to stand during this trip.

He tries to breathe deeply without drawing the man’s attention, tries to pick up the subtler things beyond the obvious health and wealth of the pack and the beta’s own traits. There’s dirt under his fingernails – he’s worked outside, probably in a garden. There are traces of smoke on his clothes from burning dead, dry plants. He smells like dogs – big ones. Beyond all this Levi can smell all the different people he has come into contact with: the alpha and his mother, several dozen other people, a pregnant woman, a bunch of puppies. The strongest smell is of a woman, a powerful fruity scent; it’s most pungent on the nape of the man’s neck where Levi can see the pale traces of a scar. It’s different from his. Made for a different purpose. Levi isn’t sure how he knows it.

“So who do you think slashed your tyres?” the beta asks him suddenly, drawing his attention.

Levi scoffs. “Some fucking asshole,” he says. “Too bad that only narrows it down to the whole fucking school.”

The man makes a sound that signals agreement and amusement. “High school can be a pain in the ass,” he states, making Levi roll his eyes. “And you don’t seem to have a whole lot of friends in that place.”

“Well you’d fucking know, wouldn’t you?” Levi snaps. “Always fucking lurking around. What the fuck are you doing that for anyway? Why doesn’t your pervert of a boss stalk me himself?”

“He’s not a pervert,” the man counters at once, “and that’s not what it’s about.”

“What the fuck is it about then?”

The beta glances at Levi before clearing his throat. “You know, these transitions can get pretty rough sometimes. People can get angry, things can get out of control. He just wants to make sure you’re doing alright. That things haven’t gotten out of hand back home.”

Levi’s brows pull down over his eyes as he stares at the road ahead. He doesn’t like the sound of any of that. The word ‘transition’ sends shivers down his spine and makes him grit his teeth again.

“You can tell him to fucking forget about all of that,” he barks at the beta angrily. “I don’t need any help from any of you fucking creeps. I’m not transitioning anywhere, so you can all just leave me the fuck alone. If your alpha wasn’t a fucking idiot he would’ve gotten it the first time I fucking told him.”

The man falls quiet, and Levi can sense he’s upset. He expects him to start telling him off, but instead he merely mutters, “I’ll let him know you said that” and turns back to stare at the road.

They say nothing more for the rest of the drive. When they finally reach the crossroads near the house some five minutes later, the man turns off the engine and gets out to lift the dirt bike out of the back. Levi doesn’t thank him, doesn’t turn around to look at the lights of the car disappearing around the bend. He walks up to the trailer park in the persistent rain, smelling the traces of the pack on his clothes as the steady drizzle washes them away, forcing his mind to ignore the fact even those faint marks smell more like home to him than anything along the footpath that leads to the house.

 

It takes Levi another week at the waste treatment plant to earn enough money to fix his dirt bike. With Farlan having gone out of town with his parents, it means Levi’s only means of escape is a run in the woods after work. He spends his evenings at the rock quarry, lying on a sun-warmed stone with a packed lunch, killing time by fighting his need to run across the forest and throw himself down in that sweet grass of the clearing, to take in the scents of prey and bounty, to leave his own mark on every tree and bush and shrub that have shot up from the rich, dark earth. At least getting the bike fixed frees him to waste his time in other places, takes him further from the temptation. It also means he doesn’t need to catch a ride to work with Traute every morning – most times the bitch looks as likely to vomit from the smell of Levi as she does from the drinking she’s done the night before. A few times Levi catches a glimpse of the pick-up near the plant, but he never sees the beta, and never makes out any sign of his pack anywhere near the house.

It’s only after he finishes his last week at the plant that Levi needs to get creative in thinking of ways to keep himself out of the house, where the brewing tension still waits to be broken, and where he feels trapped within the four walls of his room; the only place where no one will complain about the way he stinks. He gets back into the habit of hanging out at the library, even spending a few afternoons loitering at the mall, though the constant attention of the security guards annoys him almost as much as Ralph’s badly hidden sneers. He guards his gas money like a hawk, never buys anything, doesn’t pay for his ticket when he sneaks into a movie theatre one evening to keep himself busy for a couple of hours. He only allows himself one indulgence: a trip to the zoo.

Levi leaves the bike near the gates on the parking lot, fighting his way through the onslaught of sights and smells. He doesn’t stop to look at the animals any more than he stops to look at the people; there are no crowds yet, he made sure to get there right before the zoo would open for the day. He knows the route by heart: past the birdhouse, across the little bridge and the pizza place, right to the heart of the park. He catches their scent when he’s still several hundred yards off. The first howl tells him when they’ve caught his.

Levi can see them running toward the steel wire fence and he speeds up his steps as well, still not making it to the edge of the enclosure before them. The wolves jump up against the wire, tails wagging, paws looking for a hold when they push each other out of the way. They bark and whine and howl, trying to catch Levi’s hands with their noses and tongues, nipping at the fingers he pushes through the little holes to scratch at their snouts. They’ve grown again so much since he last saw them, especially Slava. She’ll probably be the alpha one day.

“Excuse me! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Levi turns at the sound of the angry voice behind him, meeting the eyes of the zoologist whose expression softens as soon as she sees his face.

“Oh, hiya!” she exclaims instead of reproaching him further, walking up to the fence to Levi; the wolves whine twice as hard when they see her. “Haven’t seen you here for a while.”

“Yeah,” Levi agrees without offering any further explanations. “Slava’s gotten so big.”

“Yeah, she’s the heavy-weight champion of the pups for sure,” Rico tells him and laughs as Levi pushes his face closer to the cage to let the large female lick his nose. “You know, I still can’t figure out why they’ve taken to you like this.”

“Kindred spirits,” Levi comments, exaggerating his excitement to rile up Luka when he comes up to the fence, whining and barking and wagging his tail so hard he barely stays standing. He smells like the earth, like wet fur and raw meat, and once again Levi’s filled with sadness knowing the wolf has never hunted anything in his life.

“Must be it,” Rico agrees, though there’s still a note of hesitation in her voice. “Well, I should get them their breakfast.”

“I guess there’s no way I could come with you?” Levi asks, picturing himself on the other side of the fence, really greeting the puppies he’s watched grow up since they were born.

Rico’s eyes are full of sympathy when she says, “Sorry, kid. You know the rules. Something goes wrong and you could sue everyone who works here and bankrupt the place.”

“Guess no one would buy it if I said I wouldn’t do that,” Levi muses, and Rico sighs.

“Like I said, I am sorry,” she tells him again. “I bet these guys would love playing with you for a minute. But rules are rules.”

“Yeah,” Levi whispers. “Rules are rules.”

He sits down in front of the fence and watches as Rico feeds the whole pack, taking note of every wolf as they come to eat, always waiting their turn. There’s order and logic to how they operate, an ease which Levi doesn’t recognise from the trailer park though they should be working along the same principles. He watches them greet each other, follows their shows of submission and dominance, frowns as Slava bares her teeth and growls at the last wolf who skulks by to eat. Now, for the first time, Levi can’t take his eyes off Pasha; he notices every change in the hue of his dark grey fur, catches every shift in his pose as he exposes his belly to the pack’s alpha. And still he won’t think of that word, won’t name the thing Pasha is. Levi keeps watching him for the whole day and in the evening, when the zoo is closing and he heads back to the house, he can hear Pasha howling after him with the rest of his pack.

He dreams of the hunt again that night, of the clearing and its spring-damp earth, the drops of blood on the freshly thawed-out soil. Of the hot breath of the alpha in his ear, of the strength of his jaws and body when he held Levi down; his growls are more a sensation than a sound. Their pack is all around them, Levi can smell them in the darkness, their steaming mouths reeking of blood and hunger as their paws maul the wet ground. Levi can feel the alpha behind him, filling him, whispering into his ear when they both slip out of their fur: “You’re mine. Give in and be mine.” Levi wakes from the dream, trembling and coming, biting his teeth together to keep from making a sound.

As soon as his breathing has steadied, Levi throws aside the pelts on his bed, barely bothering to wipe himself down before he has stepped outside and slipped into his fur. In a second everything comes into focus, the shadows shift and give way to his senses, the instincts which Levi allows to take over. He lets himself become the wolf, gives over to the temptation of power and speed as he runs through the woods, his breathing so easy and his body so tireless that he feels he could run right across the country on that very night. He knows where he’s going and lets the thought grow as easy as the running, as natural as his skin, as the thought of going home. At the clearing he basks in the smell of his alpha, going over every scent mark, leaving his own beside them. The night is warm and he casts aside his fur for a moment to cool himself down, lying in the dew-laden grass, letting the signs of the pack disappear beyond the smells of the wet nettles, the pines, the sweet flowers that have drawn back their blossoms in the dark. He doesn’t want to think. He doesn’t want to feel.

He doesn’t want to leave.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon!
> 
> my [tumblr](http://hedera-helixwriteseruri.tumblr.com)  
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

They come back at dusk, still pulling on their clothes when they get to the trailer park, dragging the remnants of their prey behind them: two deer carcasses, both barely full-grown, ready to be stripped and bled in the shed behind the house. Levi watches them from the porch as they gather around, carrying that wild stench of the hunt with them, eyes still wide and pupils blown from the excitement of it, the belonging, the effort and reward. Kenny leaves the dirty work to Ralph and Djel, sitting down in his lawn chair next to Levi and dropping his wide brimmed hat on top of his head, like suddenly he’s six years old again. Levi grabs it and throws it onto the porch, wishing he had the guts to spit on it for good measure.

“Oi. Pick that up.”

“Fuck you,” Levi snaps back sourly, following Traute with his eyes as she walks into the house. “I’m not your fucking slave.”

“I wonder who the fuck you think you’re talking to, boy,” Kenny says, nudging Levi’s arm with his elbow after he’s lit a cigarette. “You know you can’t pull that baby alpha shit with me. Pick it up.”

Levi sighs and grits his teeth, leaning over the rusty armrest of the lawn chair to grab the hat again and throw it onto Kenny’s lap. The man pops it onto his head with a contented sigh; he’s always in the best mood after a hunt and after five or six beers. He leans back in his chair and takes a long drag off his smoke – a king surveying his kingdom. Levi glares at him from under his knitted brows, clicking his tongue when Traute walks back out to the porch and hands Kenny a cold beer.

“Get one for the pup too,” Kenny tells her; the can hisses when he opens it. “Might help with the stick up his ass.”

Traute does as she’s told, sitting down on the steps below Kenny and Levi once she’s done. Levi looks over the trailer park and drinks his beer, doing his best to hide the fact he doesn’t like how it tastes. Still he can’t help grimacing. It doesn’t escape Kenny, who lets out a loud, throaty laugh.

“You’ve still got a lot to learn about being a man, kid,” he tells Levi, scrunching up the beer can and throwing it on the sparse lawn in front of the house. “A couple more years here and you’ll learn how to drink like a man. Hunt like a man too.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to learn that when you don’t let me come with you?” Levi asks him sullenly. “You want me to read a fucking book about it or something?”

“Don’t get smart with me,” Kenny snaps at him sharply. “You know damn well why I couldn’t take you on the hunt. Maybe if you’d done as you were fucking told you wouldn’t be in this shit right now. You had better take responsibility for it.”

Levi sets his jaw, his hand gripping his beer can so tightly he can hear the metal bending slightly under his fingers. He keeps his eyes on the trailers and their inhabitants, envying all of them for getting to be a part of the hunt. He’s always loved it, the chase, the strength and speed his instincts give his body. He misses the rush he gets from going in for the kill when he senses the time is right, that surge of power when he tastes those gushes of blood in his mouth, when he feels the prey is growing weak and tired. He’s always been the fastest, always the best at running down the deer. Kenny is a piece of shit for ordering him to stay behind. A useless punishment for something that was barely even his fault to begin with. How was Levi supposed to know that alpha was going to fucking tear his neck open?

Without saying anything, Levi finishes his beer and throws the can as far toward the woods as he can reach from the porch before stomping inside the house. He stops by the bathroom to take a leak, cursing at the cheap fluorescent light that keeps flickering above the mirror. He’s walking to his room when he catches the scent of something that stops him in his tracks. The smell itself isn’t unusual, but the location is. He softens his steps as he approaches the kitchen, peering in and finding Ralph by the sink, holding their biggest kitchen knife in his hand.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Levi asks the man, feeling his heart in his throat despite himself; he doesn’t like the way Ralph flinches when he turns around.

“Nothing,” the man tells him, flashing him a toothy grin. “Was just looking for a knife, that’s all. Thought you might have a few good ones.”

“There’s a hundred knives in the shed,” Levi says, trying to mask the uncertainty in his voice with anger. “Does Kenny know you’re here?”

Ralph falls quiet, tracing the edge of the knife pensively with his thumb. “Nah,” he finally voices. “Didn’t wanna bother him with a small thing like this.”

“I think he’d want to know about you sneaking around in his house,” Levi snaps. “D’you wanna get the fuck out or should I call him over?”

Ralph sneers and lifts up his hands in surrender, dropping the knife into the kitchen sink. “Wouldn’t want to be a bother,” he says, walking across the room and stopping right in front of Levi. “Ain’t it great how you can always go running to him? That’s a real special thing. I sure as hell never had that with my old man.”

“Am I supposed to give a fuck about your sob story now?” Levi snarls, fighting the urge to take a step back; the man smells like sweat and blood.

“Nah,” Ralph says again, scoffing. “Just makes me wonder what would happen if Kenny wasn’t around. A kid like you who keeps getting into trouble… Well, I guess there’s a chance you could get hurt. Real bad.”

Levi can feel his heart speeding up its race in his chest despite the reins he’s trying to keep on it. His palms are sweating too, his hands are growing clammy and numb. He can tell from Ralph’s smug smile that the man can tell what’s happening.

“You’re a lucky kid,” he says, grimacing. “I sure hope that luck never runs out on you.”

Levi stands still and listens to the man’s heavy footsteps as he marches out of the house through the back entrance, waiting until he hears the door slamming before running to his bedroom window. He sees Ralph walking up to the shed, watches as he stops to say something to Djel before turning around, catching Levi in the window and smirking. Levi draws back at once, leaning against the wall for a second before sitting down on his bed, hissing out a swear and running a nervous hand through his hair.

He doesn’t leave his room until he hears and smells Kenny coming indoors with Traute, carrying a plateful of raw venison that he hands to Levi as soon as he walks into the kitchen. Kenny sits down at the table, never bothering to tell Levi to start cooking the meat; he does it better than most people in the pack. Traute takes a seat opposite her master after getting them both another beer each. Levi sets the skillet on the stove and turns on the gas.

“Ralph was in the house,” he tells Kenny at once; maybe it’s not the best strategy, but he can’t think of much else to do.

Kenny and Traute exchange a look – grim, but not in the least surprised. Kenny opens his can of beer and takes a swig before burping loudly.

“What did he want?”

“Said he was looking for a knife,” Levi says, frowning at the snort of laughter Kenny lets out.

“Looking for a knife,” he repeats, sneering. “Fucking sure he was.”

“Just like you said,” Traute mutters. “He’s testing you already. Ungrateful piece of shit.”

“He say something to you?” Kenny asks Levi sourly. “He threaten you with something?”

Levi stays quiet for a moment before shrugging and nodding. He watches as Kenny’s expression shifts another couple of markers further toward anger before his skin grows red and blotchy. Levi’s heart jumps back into his throat when Kenny suddenly grabs the half-empty beer can and flings it across the room.

“That fucking inbred son of a bitch,” he growls at Traute. “He thinks he can take over just like that? Just ‘cause the fucking pup’s gone and gotten himself claimed like a little bitch?”

Levi flinches on his spot by the frying pan. He wants to tell Kenny that he can hear everything he says, wants to tell him to shut his mouth, but the words get stuck in his throat. Instead, he places the venison on the pan and keeps listening to Kenny and Traute.

“We’ll show him,” she says; her words are already starting to slur a little. “You’ll put that traitorous bastard back in his place.”

Kenny grunts an agreement and grabs Traute’s beer, drinking all of it in one go. “Might be he’s got someone backing him too,” he mutters. “He’s not the only one who’s not happy about how thing are now.”

“So we’ll take them all out,” Traute tells him. “Even if it’s more than a few, in the end we’ll be better off for it. Better a small pack that’s loyal than a big one where half your guys are waiting to stab you in the fucking back.”

Kenny grunts again. “Ralph better watch his,” he growls. “If he thinks I’m gonna wait around for him to jump at my throat he’s got another thing coming.”

Levi draws his head between his shoulders and keeps poking at the meat in the skillet, taking it out after just a few minutes. He carries the first pieces over to Kenny who doesn’t thank him, simply starts carving big chunks out of the venison; the blood from inside starts running onto the plate.

“You gotta be on your guard too, kid,” Kenny snaps at Levi when he returns to the stove to throw more meat into the smoking grease. “You see that bastard coming for you, you run the other way, you hear me? Don’t you fucking go and get yourself killed. You might be fast but you’re not any kind of a match for Ralph. He’ll fucking tear you up, and where the fuck would that leave me? You think I’m gonna leave the running of the pack to _her_?”

Levi glances behind himself at Traute, expecting to see anything but the blind devotion still plastered on her face. Stupid bitch. Levi almost feels sorry for her.

“It’s gotta be you, d’you get that?” Kenny demands, shoving a bleeding piece of meat into his mouth. “I ain’t got no one else. It’s you or nothing.”

Levi nods mutely and turns back to the frying meat, suddenly feeling like someone’s strangling him.

 

Once Levi can hear Kenny’s snoring through the closed and locked door of his bedroom, he knows it’s time. He steps out the back of the house and slips into his fur, distracted for a few seconds by the smell of blood still lingering in the shed. He catches his focus and directs it elsewhere, running past the beer can he threw on the ground near the edge of the forest earlier. He runs through the trees, his heart grows lighter with every step he takes toward his destination. He doesn’t stop until he’s within a smelling distance of the clearing, to make sure no one’s there; he finds it empty, just like every other night. But the alpha has been there, and not long ago either, perhaps even earlier that same day. He wasn’t in his fur, though. Levi can smell the different fabrics of his clothes as well as the coffee he had with him.

Levi goes around the trees to leave his scent on them before slipping out of his fur and lying down in the grass, flicking a spider off his shoulder once he feels the tickling sensation of its legs. He looks up at the cloudless sky and breathes. The scent from the scar seems to blend into all the other smells until Levi can barely make it out anymore. There’s a calm that comes over him here, a sense of belonging that keeps drawing him back though even now he can’t help feeling troubled by it. The only part of him that’s at peace is the wolf; if no other part of Levi’s mind had a say, he would’ve moved over to the other pack weeks ago.

Levi crosses his arms under his head and sighs, his brows knitting over his eyes. Even here he doesn’t like to think, but the quiet makes it hard not to. Back at the house it’s easy to find distractions that keep him from focusing on just how shitty his situation is. He knows full well the clearing is a temporary refuge, a place where he can stop for a moment when no one else is around but nothing more. That feeling of belonging feels as fake as Kenny’s insisting that Levi will be the alpha of their pack one day; he’s not stupid or desperate enough to think anyone would ever follow him after what happened. It’s a bitter relief to finally admit to himself that Kenny’s dreams of him as a leader were just that: Kenny’s dreams, not his. Maybe he harboured those delusions when he was younger, but life was sure to set him straight before long. He doesn’t have what it takes. Hell, he’s not even sure he wants to have what it takes. The whole thing seems to be more trouble than it’s worth, having to deal with idiots like Ralph and Djel all day, having to keep your guard up to make sure no one double crosses you. A fucking hassle if Levi ever heard of one.

But thinking of the alternative doesn’t make Levi feel any better either. He thinks about that day at the zoo, how he kept following Pasha, cringing every time one of the other wolves snarled at him or bared their teeth or drove him off with a few well-placed bites. Didn’t look like a very comfortable position to be in. And what else could he hope to be in a new pack? Those fucking hippies are rolling around in money as well. No doubt they would look down on someone like Levi, whose greatest accomplishments of wealth are his dirt bike, making his own gas money, and getting first pick of the clothes that the few women in the pack go out and buy from the thrift stores in town. Picturing himself being ordered about by a bunch of fucking snobs makes Levi cringe even worse than his memories of Pasha.

Levi’s thoughts turn to the alpha and he tries to remember what the man said when he showed up at the house with his mother, but all that comes to mind even now is that overwhelming rejection. It doesn’t really go together with all of Kenny’s warnings of what the alpha’s going to do to Levi if he catches him again – and besides, he’s not really made much of an effort to get anywhere near Levi since they last met. Sure he sent his henchman to stalk him, but even the giant always kept his distance. _“He just wants to make sure you’re alright.”_ Not much of threat there either. Levi rubs at the scar on his neck gently and wonders again whether some part of him wanted this. Even if he did, it doesn’t change the fact the alpha’s a fucking beast. Who even does something like that – and to someone a decade younger than they are? Could be the alpha thinks he did it out of some kind of sense of fucking charity, getting Levi away from Kenny and his pack. As if that was his decision to make.

And still, Levi did cross over to their territory sixteen times. Sixteen. That sure as hell wasn’t an accident. Even now Levi’s sure the wolf in him knows what the fuck that was about, but it’s as though there’s a boundary keeping that information from him. Hell, maybe he doesn’t want to know. Maybe the spring made that part of him go crazy with hormones or some shit. Maybe he had seen the alpha somewhere and forgotten about it, but the wolf had caught that scent and decided to go for it. Even with everything that went down, Levi can’t deny that the man’s not bad to look at, and that even beyond the alpha thing he smells better than anyone Levi’s ever smelled before, so healthy and strong and sure of himself. Under any other circumstance, Levi would probably be using a guy like that for wank fodder but as things stand he finds it difficult to even think of the alpha without his stupid hippie clothes on, let alone anything else. The dreams he has are bad enough, though Levi sometimes wonders why he doesn’t find them more disturbing.

Levi rolls onto his stomach, flinching at the touch of the cold, damp grass. He can feel his eyes stinging from how late it is, but his body seems to grow heavier the more he thinks about leaving, pulling him onto the fragrant ground. He lays his head on the crook of his arm and closes his eyes, breathing in that odd familiarity and connectedness that he can’t remember ever having felt at the house, not even in his earliest memories when his mother was still alive. It seems strange to him that the alpha came to the meeting with his. Levi gets lost in picturing the pair of them, with their bushy brows and blue eyes and blond hair, catching himself only at the edge of dozing off and slouching back to the house, barely half awake. Even though he sleeps until noon, he’s still up earlier than Kenny who only drags his ass to the kitchen when he smells the coffee and freshly fried venison that Levi cooks for breakfast. He takes one sniff at his nephew and swears under his breath.

“How many times do I gotta tell you?” he growls as he slams his cup of coffee on the table. “You stay the fuck out of their piece of shit land, you hear me? The fuck are you going there for anyway?”

Levi shrugs, shoving a piece of rare meat into his mouth, washing it down with coffee. Across the table Kenny stays quiet for a few seconds, as if waiting for Levi to continue, letting out a heavy sigh when he doesn’t.

“Listen, kid,” he says, pointing one of his long, bony fingers at Levi’s chest. “You don’t wanna keep going there. They’re not good people. One of these times they’ll snatch you and take you away, and you don’t want that.”

“I’m not a fucking idiot,” Levi tells the man sourly. “I only go there when no one’s around.”

“So what, you’re gonna fucking pretend now that you didn’t get caught before?” Kenny asks him and he turns back to his plate sullenly. “Listen. I know what’s going on. It’s the bite, it makes you feel like you want to go over there – but you can’t keep fucking doing that. Trust me, you don’t want those fucking perverts getting their hands on you.”

Levi keeps quiet and focuses on his breakfast, barely giving Kenny a nod as a reply. The man sighs again, sounding angrier than before, but just as he’s about to open his mouth again, a strange scent wafts in through the open window. Levi catches it only a few seconds after Kenny.

“Speaking of perverts…” the man mutters, shaking a cigarette out of the pack and lighting it.  

Levi gobbles down the rest of his steak and throws back the coffee, still chewing when he runs through the house to the door. He waits until Farlan’s had a chance to knock – the first couple of times the boy came over, Levi answered too quickly and freaked him out. He’s a rare sight at the house, and Levi doesn’t blame him; if he didn’t live here, he’d be a rare sight too.

“You’re back,” he tells the boy when he’s opens the door.

“Yeah, we came back a couple of days ago,” Farlan tells him, glancing nervously at Chuck and Aaron who cross the yard. “You want to hang out? I thought we could go somewhere.”

Levi nods quickly and runs the coffee mug back to the kitchen before pulling on his hoodie and getting out of the house. They cross the trailer park and get into the car at the edge of it, talking about Farlan’s family vacation; they’ve gone camping, a yearly tradition that Farlan seems to hate more and more the older he gets – even more than the visits to distant relatives his parents also force him to join.

“Where do you want to go?” Farlan asks him, turning the key in the ignition.

Levi shrugs. “Anywhere’s fine,” he says, snatching Farlan’s smart phone and hooking it up to the car’s sound system, turning on some music though he doesn’t like anything Farlan likes.

“There’s a summer market in town,” the boy suggests. “Could go check it out.”

Levi shrugs again and Farlan starts driving. Levi rolls open the window and leans his head against the frame, letting the warm summer air muss up his hair. They don’t talk about much – one of the things Levi likes the most about Farlan is how they can both just _be_ near each other. It makes keeping secrets a lot easier. Just like now, when Farlan suddenly asks him about how things are at home; there’s no way Levi can actually explain it, the bite, the pack politics, so he just says things are fine for now.

“I wish you had a phone,” Farlan mutters.

“We do have a phone,” Levi argues, but Farlan shakes his head.

“I mean _you_. I wish _you_ had a phone so I could’ve called or whatever,” the boy says, and Levi grins.

“Missed me that much, did you?”

“Don’t be a jerk,” Farlan tells him. “I was bored out of my fucking mind. Nowhere we went had wi-fi.”

“Social media addiction is a real thing, you know,” Levi says, trying to sound serious but chuckling when Farlan gives him the finger.

“There’s this guy I’ve been talking to online,” he says; Levi can smell his embarrassment better than he can see it in the blush rising to his cheeks. “I couldn’t even get like, one message out to him for a week. I was sure he’d never get back to me after that.”

“You shouldn’t trust people you meet online,” Levi keeps teasing. “Does he use that wink smiley a lot? ‘Cause if he does he’s probably like some 60-year-old predator human trafficker or something.”

“Fuck you,” Farlan says, elbowing Levi on the arm and smiling when he laughs. “He’s not some old creep. He’s like… Our age. Ish.”

“Ish?”

“He’s nineteen,” Farlan says, blushing even more. “But nineteen’s not bad, right? I mean, he’ll be twenty this year but that’s not bad. I’ll be eighteen. It’s only two years.”

“Yeah, two years isn’t bad,” Levi says, cringing as he thinks of the alpha. “But if he ever wants to meet you and he goes all ‘Hey, why don’t you just come to my house, we can hang out in my basement-”

“Shut up, I’m not an idiot,” Farlan says. “He lives near San Francisco or something so it’s not like we’ll ever even meet or anything.”

“And don’t send him any pictures of you either,” Levi tells him, crossing his arms behind his head. “Or if you do, make sure your face isn’t in them.”

“You do realize that if I sent him anything before I turn eighteen I’d be sending him child porn, right?” Farlan asks him and Levi frowns.

“Oh yeah,” he comments. “Didn’t think of that.”

“Jesus Christ,” Farlan huffs. “Anyway, I don’t know what you think I’m like, but I am _not_ going to send dick pics to some random guy I barely know.”

“What if he sends you some first?”

“Then I’ll stop talking to him,” Farlan says and shrugs. “That shit is weird. I don’t want anything to do with that.”

“Yeah, right,” Levi says, laughing. “What if he’s like… hot as balls?”

“Hot as balls? Seriously?” Farlan asks him, rolling his eyes. “Hot or not, that shit is weird. I mean, I get doing that with someone you’ve been with for like, a million years but not with someone you’ve been talking to online for like a month. It’s just like… Nobody needs to see that, you know?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Levi agrees, leaning back in his seat and lifting his feet on the dashboard. “So what’s this guy’s name anyway?”

“Kevin.”

“Kevin,” Levi repeats, resisting the urge to tell Farlan that Kevin is a dumbass name. “Right. Well, you should tell Kevin that if he turns out to be an asshole and if he treats you like shit, I’m gonna hunt him down from wherever-the-fuck near San Francisco and kick his ass.”

“My fucking hero,” Farlan huffs, laughing at Levi’s serious expression. “I am one hundred percent not going to tell him that. But thanks.”

They hit the main road and Levi rolls up the window to keep out the stench of exhaust fumes, surrounding himself instead with the smell of Farlan’s half a dozen hair-care products. By the time they get to the market, Levi’s sense of smell is shot and it takes him a couple of minutes to start catching the scents of the produce. They start walking around between the stalls, looking at what’s for sale. Levi even tests the fabric of a thick, black hoodie though he knows he won’t be wasting any of his money on something like clothes. Farlan buys a couple of cheap t-shirts and a new belt.

“Should we get friendship bracelets?” he asks Levi when they pass a stall selling beaded jewellery.

Levi snorts. “Sure,” he says, “and let’s get engagement rings while we’re at it.”

They keep walking, finally coming to the farmer’s market where the tables and baskets are full of fresh, local fruits and vegetables. Levi smells the air without much excitement; he doesn’t even recognise half the things on display. Farlan examines most of them curiously, especially the little containers at a table manned by two white people with dreadlocks, both of whom are wearing harem trousers and some of the beaded jewellery from before; the stench of incense coming off them keeps Levi a good six feet away from their stall. Their products turn out to be sprouts, from anything and everything you can make sprouts out of, or so it sounds to Levi. He snorts at Farlan’s interest more than a little dismissively, freezing suddenly on his spot when he catches a familiar scent.

There’s a bunch of them a couple stalls over: the alpha and his mother, the beta giant, some small woman with blonde hair, – the beta’s… whatever the fuck, Levi recognises the smell from the back of his neck – and two other people, both women, both old as balls. They’ve noticed him too, they’re all staring in his direction with similar expressions of surprise on their features. Somewhere deep within himself Levi feels a sudden and inexplicable urge to walk over to them, to start pawing at their arms and to expose his neck for them to smell. His fucking wolf rolling over again like a little bitch. His face draws into a scowl and he narrows his eyes, refusing to take a step toward them. Levi catches the alpha’s mother moving, like attempting to come over to him, but the man catches her by the arm and tells her no. Levi’s eyes narrow even further.

“Who’re they?” Farlan asks him, drawing his attention; he’s holding a small container in his hands and looking at the alpha and his people. “Do you know them?”

“Never seen them,” Levi snaps, grabbing Farlan’s shirt and pulling him along as he starts to march in the opposite direction.

“I wasn’t-” the boy protests, stumbling a little as he tries to keep up with Levi. “What the fuck? What happened?”

“Nothing,” Levi says, glancing behind himself to make sure no one’s following. “Just sick of this place. Full of fucking hippies.”

They leave the market quickly, driving to the edge of town where a patch of grass and sparse forest separates the woods from the main road. They walk across the meadow, flicking insects off their trouser legs, stopping by a little stream that runs from the river to a small lake somewhere deeper in the woodlands. No man’s land, too close to the road to be good for hunting or much anything else. Only city packs mark their territories block by block and street by street. Out here it’s all about the hunt, the space, the abundance of game – or lack thereof – if it’s not about family ties, about how many generations of your people have lived off the land before you.

“You sure you don’t want to tell me what’s up?” Farlan asks him once they’ve dipped their feet into the water.

Levi looks at him and sighs, lying down in the grass. “Nothing much,” he lies. “Kenny’s just… You know how he is.”

Farlan nods and stays quiet for a long time before saying, “Don’t you ever feel like you should… I don’t know. Like you should talk to someone about that? Like someone-”

“Like some fucking social worker or some shit?” Levi asks him softly, shaking his head when Farlan shrugs. “More trouble than it’s worth. Besides, they might ship me off to some place worse. You never know. And it’s not like it’s bad at Kenny’s. I’ve got food, clothes, a roof over my head. What more do people need?”

“Right,” Farlan agrees, though he doesn’t sound convinced. “I guess you’re alright then.”

Levi doesn’t answer. He looks at the clouds that slide slowly across the clear blue sky, feeling a sudden shudder running through himself despite the warm weather. It’s not the first time Farlan’s said something like this, but to Levi it has never been an option for a number of reasons, mainly because he can’t risk getting sent to a normal human family. Drawing any attention to the trailer park and the sketchy shit half the people there are up to wouldn’t go down well with Kenny, that’s for damn sure.

Farlan drops him off at the crossroads a couple hours later, promising to call the landline a couple of times during the next few weeks when he goes out of town again. Levi walks along the road slowly toward the trailer park, listening to the wind in the trees and watching as the sky turns quickly into shades of pale lavender. The smell of heather is everywhere; it grows along the path in clusters that reflect the colour of the evening sky. The hues of the clouds keep catching Levi’s attention even as he’s passing the trailers. The only warning he gets of the danger in the grass is the sudden smell of rust that pierces through the heather. Levi barely has the chance to pull his foot out of the trap as it closes with a loud, squeaky clang. Someone swears loudly behind him.

“You gotta be careful, pup,” Ralph tells him, leaning onto the doorway of his trailer. “If you don’t watch yourself, you’re gonna get hurt.”

Levi tries to glare at the man, tries to ignore the frantic beating of his heart, but his fear must be showing in his face. He leaves Ralph alone with his smug smile, allowing his legs to start giving in under him only when he’s past the door and inside the house. He wonders if Kenny noticed the sound, but the man is deep in his schemes with Traute and Levi skulks past them into his bedroom, closing the door and falling onto the pile of furs on his bed. He’s halfway sure that Ralph will sneak into his room to rip his throat open in the dead of night, but he manages to fall asleep regardless, waking up in the morning feeling grouchy and badly rested.

He leaves the house right after breakfast, driving his dirt bike out to the rock quarry before dismounting and continuing on foot to the clearing. It looks different in the light of day, more alive and inviting, nearly begging for someone to lie down amidst the buttercups. Levi does just that, letting the sun beam down and warm the black fabric of his t-shirt and make sweat pool into his armpits. The smell is almost strong enough to drown out the new scent that suddenly overpowers the flowers; he catches it only seconds before he hears someone speak out.

“Hello.”

Levi is on his feet before he can think the command, looking at the older woman who has walked to the edge of the clearing. She meets his gaze over the meadow, lifting her hands in a gesture of good will when she sees Levi taking a step back.

“You’re Levi,” she says softly, smiling in a way she probably hopes is disarming. “That is your name, isn’t it?”

Levi stares at her, feet light on the grass like he’s ready to bounce into motion. He can smell the alpha on her, and his eyes move quickly to the forest behind her, expecting to meet the shape of the man somewhere between the trees. She notices what he’s doing and shakes her head.

“There’s no one else here,” she tells Levi, still smiling as she takes a step forward toward the large, flat tree stump in the middle of the clearing. “Do you mind if I sit?”

She doesn’t wait for Levi to reply – and why should she? This is far more her land than it is Levi’s. She takes a seat on the tree stump, sighing contentedly as she pulls a parcel of brown paper from her handbag; she unwraps it and reveals a few sandwiches, cut into triangle shapes.

“Would you like one?”

Levi gives her a flat stare. “You trying to tame me or something?” he asks her dryly and she laughs.

“Goodness no,” she replies. “Just thought you might be hungry. Here, have one. Take a seat.”

Levi doesn’t move, not to take a sandwich and not to sit down anywhere near the woman. She continues to eat, taking small, controlled bites and making a muffled noise of pleasure here and there. Levi catches the scent of the food; no meat, just all sorts of leafy, green things.

“Sorry, I can be such a scatter-brain,” she suddenly says, wiping her hand quickly on her trousers and extending it. “I’m Edith – though everyone back home just calls me Mama.”

Levi stares at the hand, still refusing to move closer. He knows it’s stupid, but he feels like the woman has invaded his turf, like she’s violated his privacy. She keeps her hand extended for another few seconds before lowering it with a sigh.

“There’s no need for you to be so scared of me, you know,” she tells Levi, stopping for a moment to eat more of her sandwich. “I haven’t come here to kidnap you, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Levi mutters after scoffing. He doubts the old lady could keep up with him for even a hundred yards.

The woman lets out a snort of a laugh. “Oh, I’m sure it would be very amusing for you,” she says, finishing her lunch and brushing the crumbs off her hands. “But like I said, I’m not here to do that.”

“What are you here for then?”

For a moment it looks like she’s about to tell Levi she’s got a lot more reason to be there than he does, but in the ends she merely states, “I thought we could talk.”

“What the fuck would we talk about?” Levi asks her, not even noticing the swear word slipping into the sentence until he spots the slight tightening of her mouth. “I thought you would’ve gotten the message last time.”

“Yes, your uncle didn’t mince his words,” the old lady agrees. “You didn’t say a lot.”

“I said enough,” Levi counters at once, his heart hammering. “I’m not coming over to your liberal hippie cult so you can fuck right off to wherever the fuck you came from.”

“I can see the mouth runs in the family,” she tells him, sounding suddenly a little bit cooler than before but then sighing again. “Look. I didn’t come here to try and convince you. I just wanted to make sure that you know you’re welcome.”

“Your grown ass son sent you over here to tell me that?” Levi asks with a sneer, but the woman shakes her head.

“Oh, no, he has no idea I’m here,” she tells Levi. “In fact, he specifically told me not to come and talk to you.”

“So why did you?”

“He can be the alpha all he wants but for as long as I’m his mother, he can’t tell me what to do,” she says. “Are you sure you don’t want a sandwich?”

Levi looks at the food, feeling his stomach grumbling – he barely had half a steak for breakfast. He hesitates for another few seconds before reaching his hand out, accepting one of the neat triangles. The woman picks one up too. Levi sniffs his with apprehension; most of the scents don’t ring a bell, and neither do the flavours when he bites into it. There’s a lot of salad, but it hardly tastes like it, having been drenched in some kind of dressing. There’s something salty in the sandwich too, like pickles but more oily. The spread is sweet and fatty and green – definitely not butter.

“Why doesn’t he want you to come and talk to me?” Levi asks her, unable to hold his curiosity.

“He thinks we should respect your wish for privacy,” she explains. “He didn’t even let me come say hi at the farmer’s market.”

Levi snorts. “He’s one to talk,” he mutters, “sending that giant to tail me.”

The woman lets out a loud laugh that makes a bite of the sandwich nearly catch in Levi’s throat. “That’s a very good point,” she tells him, beaming. “Though you know he never wanted you to be alarmed by Mike. I know he looks a bit intimidating but he’s a real sweetheart.”

“Yeah, sure,” Levi mumbles, his mouth full of bread and mysterious vegetables; not half bad, actually. “A sweetheart who could probably grind my bones into powder if he wanted to.”

The woman smiles and shakes her head. “He is very strong,” she says, “but like I said, you shouldn’t worry. He has a gentle nature.”

They fall quiet and finish their sandwiches. The old lady brushes the crumbs off her hands again, turning to squint up at Levi, shielding her eyes from the sun.

“You’re probably dying to tell me that I’m wasting my time, aren’t you?” she asks Levi, who hesitates for a few seconds before shrugging. “Though I’m sure you’d find a more colourful way to say it.”

“I already told you,” Levi says again, “I’m not going to–”

“Yes, you did say that,” the woman interrupts him and sighs, getting to her feet. “Well, I didn’t come here to push you into a decision. All I wanted was to let you know that you are welcome in the pack. We’ll be happy to have you – if it’s what you want.”

“Why the fuck would I?” Levi asks her, frowning when she shrugs.

“I don’t know,” she admits. “I just thought maybe there was a reason you kept crossing. Maybe there _was_ something you wanted and if so… Well, there’s no reason why you can’t have it now.”

Levi doesn’t reply, just watches as the woman wraps up the last triangle of a sandwich. There’s that question again, the one he’s been asking himself. Somehow it sounds even worse when someone else says it. Inside him the wolf is close to bursting with all sorts of urges that do nothing for Levi other than make him confused and angry.

“You should have the last one,” the woman says, offering Levi the brown paper package. “Go on. I know you liked it.”

Levi accepts the food sourly without thanking her. The sigh she lets out seems to indicate she noticed it.

“You do know you can’t keep coming here, don’t you?” she asks Levi next, suddenly looking sad. “If you’re not in the pack, you can’t keep leaving traces here. It’s confusing for people.”

“Like for your son?” Levi asks her sullenly, expecting her to deny it, that ready admission of weakness, but instead she nods.

“Yes,” she tells Levi readily. “It is confusing for him. I can see him trying to figure out what it is you want, and when he can’t fathom it, he gets frustrated. It isn’t fair. You should send a clearer message.”

“Clearer than a flat no?”

“Clearer than sneaking over to his land and leaving signs of yourself everywhere for him to find,” the woman corrects Levi; he can feel his cheeks growing warm. “Maybe even you don’t know why you do it, but I really wish you’d stop – for all our sakes.”

Levi feels his blush spreading to his neck and he averts his gaze, focusing his energy on blocking all the things the woman’s words are making him feel. He can see her shifting on the periphery of his vision, but he doesn’t look up even when she speaks again.

“Well,” she huffs, picking up her handbag, “I’ve said all I came here to say. The decision is up to you.”

Levi wants to tell her there’s no decision to make, but the words stick to his throat.

“It was wonderful to see you again, Levi,” the old lady tells him; her heartbeat is steady, as if she’s not even lying. “I genuinely hope it won’t be the last time.”

Levi says nothing, merely watches her walk away from the clearing; she turns around at the edge of it and catches him looking, flashing him a big smile and waving her hand. Levi would like to call her a hippie bitch, but he can’t even finish the thought. It doesn’t seem fair, for whatever reason, and he decides it’s better to not think about it. He has to leave the clearing, that much is obvious. He knew it couldn’t last, but it still feels like shit. It’s like he’s found out he’s been lying on graves the whole time; something about the meadow is suddenly ruined, he doesn’t feel welcome, and it makes him ache.

He finishes the sandwich once he gets to the rock quarry, even peeling the slices of bread apart to take a closer look at the strange shit happening on the inside. He recognises lettuce, – though it tastes weird, a little peppery instead of watery and tasteless – tomatoes, slices of cucumber, but the green mush and the salty red slices remain a mystery. He stays at the quarry until it’s dark, staring at the stars and rubbing at the back of his head, fingers tracing that scar, growing warm from its touch.

Back at the house Kenny keeps from commenting on the way Levi smells, but the glares he shoots Levi’s way speak loudly enough and drive him quickly into his bedroom, where he strips naked and crawls under the furs on his bed. The next morning he’s out first thing, barely wolfing down a couple of sausages before he’s out running in the woods, leaving behind his dirt bike since walking around will take up more time. He finds a dry patch of moss by a little stream, makes a lunch out of berries, slips out of his clothes and into his fur at dinner time to hunt down a rabbit. He washes the blood off himself with the cold water from the brook before letting the sun dry the little drops off his skin. He traces the first few miles of the edge of Kenny’s territory at a lazy run, coming within a walking distance of Farlan’s house. He rounds back just as the sun starts to set, finding his way back to the trailer park by following the stench of tension and discontentedness through the forest.

 

Over the next week Levi turns this into a routine, leaving every morning right after breakfast and staying out until it gets dark. He thought he’d be bored with so little to keep him busy, but he soon finds lots of things to do in the woods. He starts building a little hut out of young trees and large branches that fell down during the winter storms earlier that year. He goes by trial and error, keeping both his mind and body occupied to distract himself from the urge to go back to the clearing instead. He washes himself in the streams and rivers every day after his dinner, and once the roof of his hut is done, he stays in it to keep the rain before heading back to the trailer park. It stinks worse every night, like the anger and resentment stewing within its sprawling confines were letting off a poisonous vapour. It makes Levi skulk quietly into his room but even from behind his closed door he can hear Kenny muttering curses under his breath, complaining to Traute how Levi’s going to be the death of him, how it’s all gone to shit because Levi had to go and bend over for some strange alpha like a little bitch. It makes Levi grit his teeth, and for a while he wonders whether he should just leave and sleep in the forest.

He considers the same the following evening when he’s putting the finishing touches on the hut but before he can make up his mind, the wind carries a new scent from the trailer park: the scent of blood. It makes Levi leap into motion, makes his heart race against his legs as he runs, too stunned to even switch forms. He considers the options, wonders frantically if Ralph has taken on Kenny, whether Kenny has lost. He’d have to leave that night, he wouldn’t even be able to go get his things. The thought makes him approach the park with caution, makes him sneak along the edges of it, smelling as he goes. He finds where it happened soon enough – there’s a patch of turned earth by the cook fire, claw marks and blood stains on the sandy terrain. There are two traces leading away from the site – a set toward the house and up the steps to the porch, and another up to the first trailer where a bloody handprint still gleams on the doorframe.

There’s more blood leading up to the trailer than there is leading up to the house.

Levi still doubles back to where he came from and enters through the backdoor. He can hear Kenny’s swearing before he’s crossed the threshold. He’s alive then, but the air within the house reeks of his blood, and the cheap whisky he’s guzzling down to numb whatever damage Ralph has done. Levi catches a glimpse of the bottle on the kitchen table in front of his uncle when he tries to slip into his room unnoticed.

“ _You_.”

Kenny’s voice stops him as he’s reaching for the door knob, dripping with anger and making the hairs at the back of Levi’s head stand on end; the scar feels hotter than it’s ever been. Levi freezes, doesn’t even turn around to face the man when he continues.

“Get in here.”

Slowly Levi lowers his hand, counting silently to ten before turning around, head drawn between his shoulders, eyes firmly directed to the floor. He can hear the heartbeats of both Traute and Kenny beyond his own; hers are anxious while his signal nothing but rage. Levi glances up discreetly, taking in the pair of them. It looks like Kenny’s arm and face have suffered the worst of the damage. There’s a large tear on his right cheek that Traute has bandaged up while it waits to heal, and deep cuts still show on his left forearm.

“Sit,” Kenny mutters, taking a gulp out of his bottle of whisky. Levi doesn’t move until he kicks the chair in front of him. “I said _sit_!”

Levi slinks into the seat, folding his arms across his chest and drawing his head further between his shoulders. He doesn’t want to look at Kenny, but the man orders him to, staring him down as soon as their eyes meet.

“You see what you’ve done?” Kenny croaks, taking another swig of whisky and gritting his teeth. “You see what I’ve had to do to win back the respect of my pack?”

Levi doesn’t talk, merely averts his gaze meekly and grinds his own teeth together. The silence feels heavy and makes the skin of Levi’s neck bristle.

“You think I lost it because of something _I_ did?” Kenny goes on. “You think any of this would’ve happened if you hadn’t gone and done what you did?”

Levi feels the urge to rub at his neck; it takes nearly all his focus to keep his hands pinned between his arms and his sides. He glances at Traute who’s still hovering by the sink, looking like she doesn’t know whether she should leave or to make herself as invisible as she can.

“I should’ve made your mom tie you up in a sack and drown you,” the man growls; Levi can feel his heart beating faster. “I should’ve known you’d turn out like her and that fucking good-for-nothing who spawned you.”

Levi can’t see the table in front of himself anymore. His eyes seem blurred by something dark and destructive rising within him, something nameless that is still taking shape, that has been taking shape for months now. He bites down harder, though there are no words or swears that threaten to spill out.

“Guess I’ve only got myself to blame,” Kenny mutters, “for not trusting my gut when it told me you’d fuck everything up in the long run. Never fucking trust the runt. You’re always useless.”

“Fuck you, Kenny,” Levi tells the man, barely believing himself how fast he got past the point of not giving a shit anymore. “Just shut up and go fuck yourself. Seriously.”

A tense silence falls in the kitchen, unbroken until Kenny whispers, “The _fuck_ did you just say to me?”

“Are you fucking deaf?” Levi asks him, his anger raising bile to his throat. “I told you to go fuck yourself and stop talking–”

“You think I’m gonna let you talk to me like–”

“Do you think I give a fuck about what you think you’re gonna let me do or not?” Levi interrupts him, scoffing. “What’re you gonna do? Smack me around? We both know you’ve never done that so why the fuck should I give a shit when you say that? Even if you did it’s not like I couldn’t take it.”

“Keep disrespecting me like that, boy, and I’ll–”

“You’ll what?” Levi starts again, standing up when Traute moves closer; he’s almost laughing. “You’ll kick me out?”

“Would teach you a lesson!” Kenny growls, getting to his feet too. “Teach you to be fucking grateful for everything you’ve got, everything I’ve busted my ass to give you and all the rest of these fucking selfish inbreds!”

“What the fuck do you think I ran over to their side for?!”

The words escape Levi’s mouth before he can stop them. They seem to hit Kenny like a punch in the gut, gluing him to his spot on the floor. Levi feels an ache in his chest – but he can’t stop himself, not now, not when it’s all finally coming out.

“It’s because everything here is so fucking awful!” he yells, wincing at the pain in his throat. “This whole fucking house is falling apart and it’s the only thing anyone wants, to live in the house instead of in a fucking trailer! We’re all so fucking pathetic, it’s like we’ve given up on life! No one here wants anything! No one gives a shit!”

“And you think you’ll be better off out there?!” Kenny shouts back. “You think you’ll be better off bending over for some fucking pervert while his whole fucking pack stands by and–”

“That’s not what they’re like!” Levi rubs at the back of his head as he growls. “They’re just normal people! And at least none of them are trying to fucking kill me in my sleep!”

“THIS IS OUR FUCKING LAND!”

Levi stops to stare. It takes him a few seconds to notice the trail of blood on the table, leading up to Kenny’s hand; he’s smashed a glass against the wood, the shards pushing further into his flesh as his hand clenches into a fist.

“You’ve got no pride for where you come from,” Kenny tells him in a hollow voice, low and quiet. “No fucking respect. No loyalty to your people. And it’s ‘cause we’re not good enough for you, isn’t that right?”

Levi turns his eyes on the floor and pulls his head between his shoulders again, palm against the scar, all the fire from before suddenly extinguished. He hears Traute shifting uneasily on her feet, can smell how she feels, how she agrees with Kenny.

“You didn’t use to think like that,” Kenny tells Levi. “When you were a kid, you wanted nothing more than to run this pack. So I taught you everything I know.”

Levi tries to remember it, manages to summon a few flashes from when he was a kid, of him bossing everyone around, making them laugh. It was different then, it was a game, a way to make the grown-ups notice him, a way to get everyone in a good mood. It wasn’t real. No one was going to stab him in the back then. He’d known nothing else than the trailer park – nothing better than the house, which felt like a palace compared to how everyone else lived. It was his kingdom, he was the prince – it took him years to realise what exactly he was the prince of, years of being called white trash to realise it wasn’t how other people lived, not even how other werewolves lived.

“And look at what I fucking got for it,” Kenny mutters, his voice so bitter Levi can almost taste the acid in his mouth. “One fucking bite and you’re fucking brainwashed. All the things I taught you just… gone.”

Levi doesn’t want to argue, though he knows the bite has nothing to do with it. He knows it now – he was ready to leave well before it, ready to switch over to another pack if it meant survival. The wolf knew, always guided by deeper instincts. Too bad it turned out Levi wasn’t prepared for the consequences after all. He glances up when Kenny sits down and extends his hand, letting Traute swoop forward and start pulling the bits of glass out of his skin. His left hand closes around the bottle of whisky and he takes a long swig.

“Go to your room, don’t come out till I say so,” he snaps at Levi; he doesn’t need to be told twice.

The aftermath of the fight keeps Levi awake well past midnight. He can’t even stay still, pacing instead from one end of his room to the other, opening and closing the window almost compulsively, leaning out to catch the scents of the forest. He wonders if he should leave, just pack a bag and go – but the woods have borders and limits, no corners that belong to him or where he belongs. Besides, it would be a short-term solution. He’d have to come back eventually, and he doubts things would improve by him avoiding them. He finally forces himself to lie still at some time past two, dozing off despite the fact he didn’t believe he could fall asleep; he doesn’t even bother taking off his clothes.

 

At first Levi isn’t sure what has woken him up. The room is still dark and quiet. It’s not until he smells gasoline that Levi realises something’s not right. He sniffs the air as he sits up, trying to see through the darkness, barely making out a shape by the door.

“Kenny?” he asks, confused. He can smell the whisky on the man’s breath all the way from his bed. “What the fuck are you doing in here?”

The man doesn’t answer. Levi can just see him swaying a little on his feet. He can’t remember the last time he saw Kenny this drunk. The stench of gasoline distorts the setting, mixing with metal and rust and sweat, both Levi’s own and Kenny’s. The man keeps quiet.

“The fuck are you doing?” Levi asks again, tone attempting defiance despite the fear building up in his chest. “You can’t just sneak around in my room in the middle of the night. Get the fuck out of here.”

“I gotta take care of it,” Kenny mutters, his voice low and absent. “There’s no other way. I gotta fix this now.”

“What the hell are you–”

“It’s gotta be you, kid,” Kenny says, still sounding more like he’s talking to himself than to Levi. “Can’t let you leave. I gotta fix this.”

There’s a sudden flash of light that dims almost at once as a strange hissing sound fills the room and the smell of gasoline grows stronger. Levi blinks, making out Kenny by the door now. But it’s not the man that makes a blind panic roil in Levi’s gut. It’s the welding torch he’s holding in his hand, its mouth bright with a blue flame. Levi throws the furs and pelts off himself and backs into the wall by his bed, staring at Kenny as he takes a step closer.

“What…” Levi starts; all he can manage is a whisper. “What are you going to–”

“We gotta get rid of it,” Kenny says, now looking straight at him, unflinching, still swaying on his feet. “There’s no other way. We gotta burn it.”

Levi can feel his panic grabbing him by the throat as he stands up on the bed, crouching, ready to jump. He glances at the door behind Kenny, tries to calculate the distance, to figure out the moves he’d have to make to get past the man. The fact he’s drunk gives him an advantage. Or so he hopes. He lifts his hands up defensively, feeling the tremor in them travelling down his arms.

“Kenny,” Levi starts, watching the man take another shaky step forward; he doesn’t know what to say, his mind is drowning in the white noise of the blood pumping in his ears. “Just… Fucking stop. Okay? Just stop. You’re… This is fucking crazy. You’re not really gonna–”

“It’ll only hurt a minute,” the man replies in a grunt; Levi can see him tightening his grip on the welding torch. “It’ll heal. And better than that, it’ll fix you all up. You don’t gotta keep running away. I’ll help you.”

“Kenny,” Levi starts again, taking a hesitant half-step toward the edge of the bed, and toward the door. “You’re freaking me the fuck out. Okay? You should just… You’re fucking drunk. You should just go and sleep it off and tomorrow we’ll… We’ll talk about this, okay? We’ll talk about this and… And I promise I won’t run away anymore, I promise I won’t, I’ll only do what you tell me to, I’ll–”

“Too late for that, kid,” Kenny mutters, shaking his head, his tone morose. “Too late. It’s this or nothing. I gotta burn his mark off you, d’you get that? I gotta free you of him.”

Levi feels like a hand has closed around his throat when he realises he can’t talk his way out of this, and every muscle in his body grows taut as a bowstring, ready to move, to explode into motion and survival. He watches Kenny, suddenly seeing him better in the dark room. The welding torch keeps hissing, the bedsprings squeak under Levi’s weight as he tries to keep his balance and find a solid spot underneath. Kenny takes another step forward.

“Kenny–”

“Don’t make this hard now,” his uncle says, lifting the torch as if he’s weighing it in his hand. “You’ll thank me when it’s over.”

For a few seconds they stare at each other in the silence, like trying to decipher each other’s first moves. Levi’s head is swimming, his eyes fighting to stay focused as adrenaline rushes through his body. He barely catches the subtle signs of Kenny preparing to strike; he’s seen them all before, on hunting trips, watching fights break out between his uncle and someone – but the man was in his fur for most of them, Levi doesn’t know how he’ll act when he’s like this, when he’s so drunk. The flame of the torch bounces when Kenny attempts a better grip on the handle. Levi has a second to wonder whether he’s going to hit him with the container before the man jumps into motion, right hand extended, going for an easy hold on Levi’s ankle. He can feel the light scratch of Kenny’s nails on his skin when he leaps, landing on the floor at the foot of the bed.

He bolts madly to the door, catching a hold of the frame to spin himself around the corner to the hallway. But Kenny’s hand finds a hold on the back of his t-shirt and pulls him back, the stench of gasoline sending him to a whole new panic. Levi turns around enough to throw a punch but it barely makes Kenny grunt. He grabs a hold of Levi’s arm and twists it behind his back, forcing him onto his knees. Levi can feel the warmth of the flame on his neck and it makes him struggle, madly and without restraint. He aims a kick at Kenny’s shin, then another and another until the grip on his wrist grows slacker and the welding torch falls onto the floor with a loud clattering bang, falling silent.

Levi tries to get to his feet, managing a few staggering steps before Kenny’s hand closes around his neck. The room blurs before his eyes when the man throws him down, pressing Levi’s cheek against the floor boards and locking his legs under his. Levi can’t see the torch but he knows Kenny is reaching for it. He’s barely aware of his own snarling and shouting, deaf to anything other than the hissing of the torch when it starts again.

“Just… Fucking–” Kenny growls, struggling to keep Levi still underneath himself. “Christ! Gonna burn down the fucking house if you don’t…”

Levi doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore, doesn’t care about strategies or weak points or advantages. Beyond the screaming of ‘Get out!’ and ‘Get free!’ Levi’s mind is empty. He throws his weight any which way he can, flails with his hands, catches some of Kenny’s skin and blood under his fingernails when he scratches him. He tries to see as much as he can out of the corner of his eye, but even Kenny’s face is a blur, and when he tries to grab a hold of the welding torch to force it away from his neck, his hand hits the flame in a second of searing pain that makes him thrash all the harder against his uncle’s weight on his body. His heels keep kicking into Kenny’s thighs, his knees aching from the man pressing onto the bends behind them. Levi has no conscious thoughts anymore, he doesn’t care about the pain shooting down his shin when he twists his leg to reach a kick between Kenny’s. He doesn’t know how many times the sole of his shoe presses into the soft flesh. All he feels is the second of weakness in the hand that’s gripping his neck.

He barely turns halfway to throw the bulk of Kenny’s weight off himself, speeding out of the man’s reach so fast he’s already at the door before the leg he twisted before gives out under him. He collapses against the frame of the back door but pushed himself back up at once, hearing footsteps behind himself. He doesn’t turn to look, focusing on limping down the few steps, holding on to the railing for dear life not to fall face first down the stairs. He half hops, half runs across the yard, thinking of only one thing: get the dirt bike, get on it, get the fuck out of here. He hears someone stumbling out behind him and he speeds up, wincing with every step, his leg healing too slowly for him to run. Kicking the bike into motion makes his eyes water, makes him hiss out a swear. He still doesn’t look back when he hears Kenny shouting after him as he drives out into the dark forest, barely seeing a thing, his hand burning with pain where the torch touched his skin. He rides on in a lingering panic, not stopping until the front wheel of the bike hits a rock on the path and comes to a crashing halt. Levi catches a flash of the starry sky above when he flies off the bike and lands among the heathers. Then the world grows dark.

It’s still dark when he wakes up, but the stars have been replaced by a heavy canopy of clouds and a light drizzle that has already soaked through Levi’s clothes. He sits up, rubbing at his head and squinting at his hand; it hasn’t healed. He gets on his feet easily, walking over to the dirt bike that lies in the undergrowth a couple yards away.

“Fuck.”

The wheel that hit the rock is bent, the tyre hanging around it like a piece of old chewing gum. Levi curses again, hugging his arms around himself when he starts to shiver. He looks around, stopping to listen for any sign of trouble, but the woods are quiet save for the pattering of raindrops falling onto leaves. He looks at the bike again, realising there’s nothing he can do, no way he can ride it anywhere now. Still, he lifts it up to lean against a tree, thinking bitterly of the money he’s spent on it over the years before he starts walking, away from the trailer park.

He loses count of the number of rocks he throws onto Farlan’s window. He keeps going though he knows it’s useless; there’s no car in the driveway, no lights on anywhere. He rings the doorbell and walks around the house, knocking on all the windows, hanging on to every last shred of hope that Farlan’s mother will eventually show up at the door, wearing a bathrobe with rollers in her hair, asking Levi what time he thinks this is to come bother people in their home.

No one answers.

Levi stays on the porch, keeping the rain that only grows stronger while he waits; an hour, and there’s still no sign of sunrise. He doesn’t pretend to be weighing his options. He has no options, no plural he can cling onto. The night chill is settling into his bones, and he wishes he could slip into his fur to keep warm. But he can’t show up there naked – especially not there.

It takes him a long time to trek back through the forest. He passes the clearing as the first birds start singing in their home trees and the first signs of daylight start revealing the shade of grey of the sky above. Levi can barely smell the grounds from the rain and the nerves setting off alarms in his mind. He can tell when he’s getting close, he barely needs his nose to know where he needs to go, as if some more finely tuned sense is guiding him instead. He can tell whenever he passes a building, even if they’re far to his left and right. The pack’s lands are big, they’ve spread themselves over a large area, but Levi knows where he needs to go.

The building stands in the middle of their lands, a big two-storey house with near a dozen windows just on the front-facing side. There’s a long porch with railings made from branches, polished and varnished but otherwise left untreated. There’s a light on in one of the downstairs windows. Levi can smell coffee and apples. A sudden sting of hunger pushes through his nervousness, and he shudders, walking up to the steps. He bites his teeth together, pacing back and forth in front of the stairs a few times before running up to the porch to get it over and done with. He looks for a doorbell but doesn’t find one. Instead there’s a large knocker a little above his head, cast iron, shaped like a leaf.

Levi draws a breath, holding it as he knocks.  


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some more coming soon!
> 
> my [tumblr](http://hedera-helixwriteseruri.tumblr.com)  
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

Levi presses his ear against the polished surface of the door and listens, shifting his weight restlessly from one foot onto the other, clenching his hands into fists. A part of him wishes he could lie down and press his nose up to the crack between the floor and the door to catch whatever scents might be lingering in the hallway and beyond. It’s still hard to determine much from sound alone; the house is big and Levi doesn’t know its layout well enough. When he’s finally convinced that the coast is clear, he sneaks out and walks soundlessly to the bathroom at the end of the hall, sighing when he finally empties his bladder. He can hear someone laying out dishes downstairs when he skulks back into his room, closing and locking the door behind himself. The few breaths of fresher air he caught make him notice how badly his bedding is beginning to smell. His night time sneaking hasn’t brought him into contact with sheets and things yet.

He walks over to the bed and throws himself back down on it, still noticing the strange softness of the duvet when he pulls it halfway on top of himself before staring up at the ceiling. It’s easy to focus on the sounds that way, to try and fit them into some bigger picture. He can barely make out people speaking, but he can recognise some of the voices. He’s confirmed the schedule of mealtimes the old lady told him on that first night. Dinner is the noisiest; for breakfast and lunch people drop in, all at slightly different times. The alpha gets up at some ungodly hour – Levi’s never been awake early enough to hear him. A bunch of kids come in next. That was a surprise – in Kenny’s pack Levi had always been the youngest person by far. Then the rest of the grownups show up, the giant and his mate included. Edith brings Levi’s breakfast up to his room once everyone else has left, never leaving out an invitation for Levi to join everyone else downstairs – but never pushing it either.

Levi’s seen the kitchen and the dining room during his midnight walks around the house. The latter is a large, cavernous room with an enormous, rough-hewn wooden table with long benches on either side. The kitchen has four fridges and two sinks, and a pantry the size of Levi’s old bedroom. There’s enough cold storage for a whole herd of deer. One tall floor-to-ceiling cupboard holds all the plates and bowls, another one all the pots and pans. It looks like something you could run a soup kitchen out of.

Levi made sure not to leave behind any trace of his wanderings other than a faint scent trail he's sure the alpha and his mother have picked up on. Neither one of them has come and said anything to him about it and it makes Levi feel like he's being treated like an adopted cat who's left to get to know its new home at night when everyone else is asleep. For the first couple of days he didn't mind it, when the house still smelled strange and he was expecting an angry mob outside his window. The room seems to grow smaller by every new morning and by now it seems to Levi no bigger than the bathroom though he knows it's near the size of the kitchen back at the house. There's not much in it other than a bed, a desk, a dresser and a small walk-in closet that the old woman's filled with some of the alpha's old clothes for Levi to wear. Levi guesses he hasn't touched them since he was like, twelve, but they're still way too big for him. In t-shirts and basketball shorts it doesn't bother him too much though.

The old woman comes by at exactly nine thirty, knocking on the door and waiting for Levi to open it, then carrying in a tray of food: fruits, - apples and apricots, she's observed what Levi likes – a bowl of oatmeal, a glass of orange juice. Levi eats on the bed, shoveling the food into his mouth, feeling like he's not had a scrap in days.

“Good to see you've got an appetite,” Edith says, sitting down on the desk chair. “Did you sleep well?”

Levi shrugs, pouring the slices of fruit onto the oatmeal, craving for coffee and meat but not wanting to let the woman know.

“There'll be lentil soup for lunch,” she goes on, leaning onto her knees. “Do you think you might join the rest of us this time?”

Levi slows down his chewing and glances up but doesn't speak. When he turns back to the food, he can smell the old woman's frustration beyond the fruit and juice. She's trying to hold something back, and Levi can tell she's not used to doing that.

“So what's the plan?” she asks him. “You're just going to sit in this room for another day? Just stew in here like a hermit?”

Levi looks up and shrugs again, making the woman breathe out in a short, irritated puff. He spoons up the last of his oatmeal, feeling the walls of the room closing in on him but still saying nothing when the old woman asks him if he wouldn't rather go outside for some fresh air. He can sense her frustration growing, but Levi still thought it would take her longer to snap.

“I'm sorry, but no,” she huffs, standing up by the desk and looking down at Levi, her hands on her hips. “I know we're supposed to give you time, but it's been a week. This room smells like seven teenagers lived in here instead of just the one and quite frankly I'm getting tired of running your food up and down the stairs. Time to rejoin the world. So up you get.”

Levi stares at her flatly for a moment and weighs his options, listens for sounds in the house and hears nothing, as if they were the only two people there. He thinks about having to wait until everyone's gone to bed before it feels safe to stick his head out the window and smell the grounds, the woods all around them, the cool dew on the grass. He can't remember ever having spent so long indoors before. Looking at the old woman, Levi wonders why he feels like he can trust her when he knows next to nothing about her. But then, there's never been any rat poison in his food, which he guesses would've been the easiest way for her to get rid of him. So he pushes his bare feet into his tennis shoes and picks up the tray without saying anything.

“Well alright then,” the woman says, smiling at him widely but without showing her teeth. “Let's head on downstairs.”

They take the tray to the kitchen and though she knows Levi's been there before, she acts like he hasn't, showing him around and telling him how everything works. She shows him what's in all the cupboards, even takes him to where they keep the washer and dryer to show him where he can bring his laundry.

“Remind me to give you some fresh linens so you can change your sheets today,” she tells Levi on the way out. “It's really starting to stink up there.”

“Thanks,” Levi drawls but she waves her hand.

“It's not you,” she tells him. “It's just you're at that age. You can't help it. I remember when Erwin and Mike were your age... Nothing ever felt properly clean with all of that going around.”

They walk back out to the kitchen and the old woman pours them both another glass of orange juice, sitting down by the kitchen island. Levi joins her hesitantly, still listening for something to happen, flinching when he hears a door opening and closing somewhere further in the house.

“Don't worry,” the woman tells him. “It's probably just someone passing through.”

There are footsteps, but no one enters the kitchen, and in another short moment the door goes again and Levi relaxes, going back to his orange juice.

“So,” the old woman starts again. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Levi glances up at her and then down at the scar on his hand that's now grown faint. It healed slowly and needed bandaging the first couple of days. The woman asked Levi then too how he'd gotten it, but didn't press the matter when Levi didn't answer. When he stays quiet now too, she sighs.

“How long do you plan on staying?” she asks Levi next. “Can you tell me that at least?”

Levi shrugs, not knowing what to say, thinking back to the trailer park, to Kenny chasing him across the yard.

The woman sighs again. “Well,” she says, emptying her glass and getting up to place it in the sink. “We might as well go with 'a while' for now. In any case, there are some things that need doing, no matter how long you'll end up being here for.”

“What things?” Levi asks her and she plants her hands on her hips again.

“You can't keep wearing Erwin's old clothes for starters,” she tells him. “Do you think we could go and get some of your things from–”

“No,” Levi says at once, shaking his head, cringing at the pity he feels wafting off the woman.

“Alright,” she says, her tone calming. “Alright, then we won't. At least not now. But you do need new things – and you need to be told the house rules.”

“Rules?” Levi asks, scowling. “Fine. Let's hear them.”

But the woman shakes her head. “It's not me you need to hear them from.”

They walk through the house, Levi glimpses a couple of the rooms he wandered into earlier – a cave-like living room with three enormous couches and huge windows giving out to the woodlands – and as they walk the scent grows stronger. Levi can feel his palms sweating but he steels himself to show no fear, to show nothing but defiance. If the alpha doesn't want him here that's fine with Levi; he doesn't really want to be in his shitty house anyway. If he had any other place to go he would be there already and he would let the alpha know that too if he said anything about it.

They get to a door, one that Levi has left alone before now because of the smell of it, like everything beyond it is the alpha's domain. The woman knocks on the door and steps in without waiting for an answer. Levi follows her, hesitating for a second before he remembers he's not supposed to hesitate. He may be the omega of this pack but Levi will be dead before he'll let anyone know he's afraid, and the alpha least of all.

He's sitting behind a desk full of papers, hair neatly combed, wearing a shirt so crisp it looks brand new. He smells of certainty, a heady mix of strength and calm, but when he looks up at Levi something falters for a second, like guilt piercing through – guilt and embarrassment. He masks it quickly and closes a folder on the table, turning his eyes from Levi to his mother.

“Levi and I will need to go out and get him some things,” she says and the alpha nods, pulling a sleek silver laptop closer to himself on the desk.

“Of course,” he replies; his voice sends shivers down Levi's spine and makes the scar heat up on his neck. “How much?”

“I think a couple- Three hundred? Just to be on the safe side.”

Levi looks at the older woman, then at the alpha, expecting him to laugh in her face. Instead he nods and starts tapping away on the laptop, looking up in a minute or so.

“Anything else?” he asks and Levi can feel the woman growing a little annoyed at that.

“I thought this would be a good time for–”

“Oh, yes,” the alpha says, standing up and walking around the desk, leaning against it and looking over at Levi who resists the urge to take a step back when his eyes meet the man's. “Have you come to any decision about how long you'll be staying here?”

Levi grits his teeth and shrugs.

“Well, you're welcome to stay for as long as you want,” the alpha tells him. “And I don't want you to feel like a prisoner. You're free to come and go as you please. But we've got some rules and you'll be expected to follow them.”

Levi draws a deep breath and meets the man's stare, waiting for him to realise he's not going to nod or say anything.

“For someone your age there's an eleven o'clock curfew – that's weekdays and weekends,” the alpha starts. “There's the obvious no smoking, no drinking, no drugs – and no coffee for anyone under eighteen.”

“The fuck am I supposed to drink then?” Levi asks him, snorting when the alpha glances at his mother.

“We've got a good selection of tea,” he says. “I'm sure you'll be able to find something that you like.”

“Yeah, right,” Levi mutters, shoving his hands into the pockets of the basketball shorts.

“Over here we all participate in some way to make sure everything runs smoothly,” the alpha continues. “I don't expect you to do much until you've settled in better and gotten to know how things work around here. But if you could clean up after yourself that would be much appreciated.”

“I can help you out to start with,” the old woman says, patting Levi gently on his arm.

“We do things a bit differently here compared to most other packs,” the man tells him, “but there should be some things you'll be used to. We all get together to have dinner. If you should join us, you'll have first serve with the rest of the under eighteen-year-olds.”

“First serve?” Levi asks, scowling. “But I'm an outsider. If I'm the omega shouldn't I–”

“We don't have an omega in this pack.”

Levi stares at the alpha for a good ten seconds and watches him turn to the old woman again.

“Mother, would you give us a moment,” he says.

Levi feels suddenly naked when Edith leaves the room though he didn't realise before that she was any kind of a comfort. When the door closes the alpha turns to look at him again, thick brows a little furrowed as he sits down on the edge of his desk.

“Firstly, I...” he starts and now there's nothing but uncertainty and hesitation left in his voice. “I'd like to apologise to you for this whole situation. I didn't realise...”

He turns to look at his shoes and seems to take a moment to gather his thoughts before he continues.

“I didn't realise just how young you were,” the man says, his tone much surer now. “When I came to your house I was under the assumption that you had an equal responsibility of what happened. But I've since realised that I was wrong. Someone your age can't possibly be held as responsible as an adult in a situation like this.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, not knowing what else to say so he keeps frowning.

“It was a momentary lapse in judgment from my part, and one that I deeply regret,” the man says and Levi flinches despite himself. “The way you kept crossing... Well, I misread whatever it was that you wanted to signal with that. For a moment I even thought–”

The alpha stops, looks over at Levi and shakes his head.

“Well, whatever I thought, I was clearly mistaken,” he says, and Levi catches the flash of disappointment coming off him; like a wish that's gone unfulfilled. “If you asked anyone, they'd tell you I'm a very level-headed person. I'm sorry that we had to meet during such a moment of weakness from my part.”

“Uh-huh.” Levi doesn't know what to think about all that. To him it sounds like more of the same rejection he got from the alpha when he came to the house.

“Anyway, you're here now,” the alpha continues, sighing quietly. “It would be helpful if you shed some light on the reasons why you left your previous pack so–”

“None of your fucking business,” Levi growls.

The alpha blinks a couple of times, brows furrowed, then sighs again. “As you wish,” he mutters. “Well, like I said, there's no omega in this pack, and if anyone ever treats you in a way you don't appreciate, I wish you'll feel comfortable coming to me with it. But the respect you're shown here should go both ways. If I hear that you've been rude to the others, you will hear from me. Is that understood?”

“Yeah,” Levi says, gritting his teeth and staring at his shoes.

“I can only imagine what all of this has been like for you,” the man continues, voice full of pity that makes Levi bristle with anger, “but I want you to know I really did mean what I said. I wish you'll feel welcome here and I want to do everything I can to make this all easier for you.”

“Right,” Levi says, biting his lip for a moment. “So there's no way to like... Reverse it or some shit?”

“Ah,” the alpha breathes, and there's Levi's answer already. “I'm afraid not. Again, I'm... very sorry.”

Levi shrugs and turns to look out the window. “Whatever,” he whispers, clenching his hand into a fist and feeling a weird tightness around the scar and thinking about the house. He doesn't miss it and even if he did he'd never admit it.

“This must be a confusing time for you,” the alpha says, pushing off the desk. “I hope you'll feel you can turn to me with whatever you need – or if you don't feel comfortable with that, then to my mother.”

Levi glances behind himself at the door, knowing the woman is waiting on the other side of it. Somehow he feels better about the thought of talking to her than the alpha – fuck, at least she's shown him that she wants him there, which is more than the man has ever done.

“I'm sure she'll help you find everything you need in terms of clothes and things,” the alpha says, walking back to the other side of the desk and sitting down in his chair. “If there's anything else you need, please let me know and I'll see what I can do.”

It's so obvious the conversation is over that Levi turns around at once and walks out of the room without saying anything else. The old woman is waiting at the end of the hall and when she sees Levi her lips spread to another wide smile.

“Everything alright?” she asks and Levi nods. “Good. You ready to go?”

She seems to take Levi's shrug as a 'yes' and leads him outside. They get into the stupid little eco car and drive over to one of those mega markets where you can buy everything you need and a hundred thousand things you don't. Levi slouches after the woman, taking the cart from her hands so he can lean on it while they walk around.

“So, what sort of things do you like?” she asks Levi, holding up a navy blue t-shirt. “Jeans? Or something more casual?”

“Whatever,” Levi says, grabbing a discount beanie from a pile and throwing it back down two seconds later.

“Well, you don't seem like the basketball shorts type, so let's leave those out of the cart, shall we?” the woman says, and Levi snorts. “And I'm sensing we should leave out the brighter colors as well.”

She asks Levi's opinion on every item of clothing, somehow deciphering some sort of answers from his shrugs. They end up with half a dozen t-shirts – gray, black, white and navy blue – and the same number of hoodies, all of them black, a twelve-pack of boxer briefs, fifteen pairs of socks, two pairs of black jeans and three pairs of sweat pants as well as two pairs of new tennis shoes. It's more clothes than Levi's ever owned in his life. He'd never show it in front of the woman, but his hands are itching to touch them, to hold them up to his face to smell them. They get a bunch of other stuff too: a toothbrush and some toothpaste, deodorant, a pack of razors and some shaving cream, shampoo and soap. Levi watches the price beeping into the cash register and feels a sting of guilt for every new number that appears, but the woman barely seems to notice it.

“Are you hungry?” she asks Levi once they've packed up all the clothes in two big canvas bags, and when Levi shakes his head she continues, “How about some ice cream? I'd love a sorbet, something refreshing.”

They drive over to an ice cream stand in a nearby park and sit down at a table, Edith with pineapple sorbet and Levi with a small scoop of mint choc-chip. For a long time neither one of them talks. Levi keeps thinking about the cost of all the things the woman just bought for him, and he wants to tell her he'll pay back for the whole lot, but he doesn't know how he'd get that kind of money together so he keeps his mouth shut.

“So there's nothing you left behind that you need or want back?” the woman suddenly asks him. “No phone or... family photo album? Nothing?”

“No,” Levi tells her, shoving another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth, thinking about his dirt bike. Piece of shit Kenny's probably sold it for parts by now.

She hums quietly, looking out across the park. “I'm not sure if that makes me feel relieved or sad.”

“Why do you care?” Levi asks her and she sighs.

“Is it so difficult to imagine?” she asks him. “That someone would care?”

Levi shrugs, scraping the last of the melted ice cream out of the bottom of his cup. “Just don't know why you would,” he says without looking at the woman.

“You're in the pack now,” she says, “more or less, anyway. I can't speak for everyone else but I always look after my own.”

“You're not my mother.”

The woman snorts and laughs. “Well, I'm not the mother of most of the people in the pack, and almost all of them still call me Mama.”

“Why?”

The woman shrugs. “I suppose it's just what I'm like,” she says.

Levi scoffs. “I'm not gonna call you that.”

“No one's asking you to,” she tells him, finishing her sorbet and turning to look at Levi. “I'm not trying to be your mother, Levi. I'm just trying to make sure you're alright.”

Levi sneers but doesn't say anything to that. “But he's your only real kid, isn't he?” he asks her instead and she nods.

“Erwin is,” she says. “Just Erwin and Mike. Well, Erwin's the only one I gave birth to, but Mike was just a baby when his parents passed away, so I guess I always felt like I might as well have given birth to him too.”

“If you raised him and everything, how come he's not the alpha?” Levi asks. “He's fucking huge. I bet he could take your son in a fight.”

“That's not how we do things around here,” she says a little coolly. “Besides, I don't really think it's in his nature, to be honest. Erwin was always more interested in those things. Mike isn't really the type to sit in an office half the day. Erwin really enjoyed learning all that stuff from his father, going over the budget, counting interest rates, coming up with five-year-plans, you name it.”

“Sounds boring,” Levi tells her and she laughs.

“I guess for most people it would be,” she admits with a smile. “It's part of what made my husband such a good leader. He had such a passion for finding ways to improve other people's lives, to really get to the heart of their worries. I suppose he was always a problem solver. Erwin got that quality from him.”

Levi looks at the woman and tries to calculate her age, realising she can't be much older than fifty.

“Sorry,” he mutters, looking at the tufts of grass around the table. “About your husband.”

She turns to look at him in confusion for a moment before she laughs. “Oh, no, he's not...” she starts, laughing some more. “Oh, I'm sorry. He's not dead. He's just retired.”

“He's what?” Levi asks, frowning.

“Well, he had worked so hard for so long we all decided it was better for Erwin to step in at this point,” she explains, still smiling. “In all honesty he was getting a bit tired of the whole thing.”

“So...” Levi starts, still trying to wrap his head around it. Alphas don't retire. They either keep control of their pack until they die of natural causes, or they're killed when someone else tries to take over. He's never heard of anything as fucking ridiculous as a retired alpha. “If he's not here then where the fuck is he?”

“Well,” Edith starts, “there were so many things he'd always wanted to do in life and I guess he started feeling like if he didn't do them now he never would. So he's traveling.”

“Traveling.”

“He'll be in Peru for another two weeks,” she says, “and then he's on to China and Mongolia.”

Levi snorts; these snobs must have more money than he thought. Suddenly he feels better about the clothes. “Mongolia. Sure.”

“Though of course it's not just for pleasure,” the woman says, standing up. “He's also gathering information, finding improvements for how we use the land, that sort of thing. Should we go?”

Levi grunts and follows her back to the car.

 

He can hear the commotion in the kitchen before they've even reached the front door of the house; ten odd people, the alpha included, no doubt cooking lunch judging by the sounds they're making. Levi freezes onto his spot for a moment before the woman thinks to look back, sensing his tension. Her face shows nothing but sympathy when she walks over to Levi and hands him the other shopping bag.

“You go ahead and run upstairs if you like,” she tells him. “You can come back downstairs for lunch once the others are gone. It'll just be you and me. Alright?”

Levi nods without saying anything, taking the bags and skulking back up the stairs. When he gets to his room, he draws a deep breath; it's the only room in the alpha's house that smells at all familiar. He sits down on the bed and kicks off his old tennis shoes, sniffing at the armpit of the t-shirt he's wearing before starting to go through the bags. He lays the clothes out on the floor one by one, arranging them by type and looking them over. He draws the curtains and changes out of the alpha's old clothes, smelling at himself and wondering if he should take a shower – he's only managed one during the week he's been there – but decides not to. Instead he puts on a brand new pair of boxer briefs and socks, noticing the tag on the t-shirt only when it's already on him and ripping it off in one swift motion. The sweat pants are so soft on the inside, like the fur of a baby bunny. It's the first time his shoes have been the exact right size for his feet.

Once he's dressed, Levi looks at himself in the mirror and frowns. The clothes all fit – and more than that, they look better on him than anything he's ever worn before. He touches the front of the navy blue t-shirt, feeling the smoothness of the fabric under his fingertips. Everything smells new, not like someone else's home or garage or laundry detergent. These clothes will smell like Levi, and like no one but Levi. He smiles a little and lies down on the bed, jumping up a minute later to gather up the alpha's old clothes off the floor; with everything else so clean, it bothers him to leave them lying around.

Levi listens absently to the sounds carrying in from downstairs, the footsteps and muffled voices. He can hear when the alpha leaves and goes back to his end of the house. He hears the gaggle of kids leaving soon after him. Then it's just a bunch of adults, then just the sound of someone clearing out the dishes. Levi feels his stomach growling.

He starts sneaking back down the stairs but stops at the landing when he hears the old woman talking to someone. There's tension in the room, but no anger, just a whole mess of other emotions Levi doesn't want to sort through. The other woman is crying a little and Levi can hear her saying something about disappointment.

“You'll try again,” the old woman says. “The trying's the fun part anyway. Right?”

The other woman laughs a little at that. Levi can hear her blowing her nose. “I wish there was a way we could both relax,” she says. “We've been so tense lately, with everything that's going on.”

The old woman is quiet for a few seconds. “Things will calm down soon,” she tells the other woman. “It's just about getting past the rough bit at the start.”

“I guess you're right,” she says and sighs. “How _is_ the refugee?”

“Oh, he's doing fine,” the old woman tells the other. “We all just need to give him a bit of time, that's all. He's been out of his room today which I think is a very good sign. And he's having lunch with me downstairs.”

“I thought I smelled something different,” the other woman says, and Levi can hear her pushing back her chair. “Well, I don't want to keep you with more of my complaining.”

“Nonsense,” the old woman huffs. “I'm glad you come and talk to me – even after everything.”

The other woman thanks her and takes her leave; Levi listens until he can hear the front door closing before walking soundlessly down the rest of the stairs. He finds the old woman in the kitchen, holding a cup and staring out the window, so deep in thought that she doesn't realise Levi's come in until he closes the door behind himself.

“There you are,” she says then, smiling and placing her cup in one of the dishwashers before she turns to look at Levi again. “Looks like we got the right size of everything! Do you like them?”

Levi shrugs and walks over to the island to take a seat and the woman rolls her eyes, still smiling.

“Well, I think all of it looks really good on you,” she says, turning to the stove. “You hungry?”

She doesn't wait for Levi to reply, just starts ladeling up some soup into a bowl and sets it in front of him with a spoon and a tall glass of water and two slices of bread on a small plate. Levi sniffs at the soup and frowns. Still no meat. He hasn't had a bite of it since he came to the alpha's house. The soup smells like tomatoes and garlic and smoke and a bunch of other stuff Levi's never so much as been in the same room with. It's not half bad when he tastes it, and he eats it quickly, dipping the bread into it and savouring each bite. The woman watches on and Levi can tell she's almost pleased enough to start humming to herself.

“I thought I'd have another cup of tea,” she tells him when he takes his dishes to the dishwasher. “Do you want to try some?”

Levi shrugs again, leaning his arms on the counter when he returns to his seat, setting his chin down on top of them. He follows the woman with his eyes when she walks to the corner cupboard and starts rummaging inside it.

“What sort of flavours do you like?”

“I don't know,” Levi tells her. “Meat. Coffee. Barbecue sauce.”

She glances back at him and gives him a half-amused half-exasperated look before turning to the cupboard.

“Why don't any of you eat any meat around here?” Levi asks her next and she stops her search for a moment.

“We only really ever eat meat on hunting days,” she says. “Too much meat is bad for you, even if you're a werewolf. And it's bad for the environment. Erwin can tell you more about that though, if you're interested. It's one of his passions, I guess you could say.”

Levi snorts and falls quiet. Should've known this was some hippie cult. They've probably got a workshop somewhere where they turn their own hair into yarn or some shit.

The woman seems to find what she's looking for, and after boiling water in an electric kettle she walks over to the kitchen island with a pot and two cups on saucers. The liquid in the pot is pale green and smells like apples and mint.

“I thought you might like this one,” she says, smiling at Levi when she pours the tea.

Levi takes a tentative sniff and taste, burning his tongue; it's healed by the time he takes another sip. Just like everything else in the alpha's house so far, it's not half bad.

“Do you like it?” Edith asks him.

Levi shrugs, smiling into his cup when the woman sighs.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon!
> 
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Mornings have a routine after that: up around nine, quick shower while everyone's still busy with breakfast, then downstairs to have a bite to eat with Edith, help her clean up the kitchen and get the laundry on. After that they usually go back to the kitchen for another cup of tea, trying something new every time so Levi can figure out what he likes. Most of it is not bad, but a couple blends tasted to Levi like sheep shit or worse; Edith laughed when he told her that. Sometimes people pass through the house, sometimes one of them even pops into the kitchen. Levi sees the giant again – they nod at each other without saying anything – and meets his... whatever she is, a short woman with short, blond hair whose name is Nan; she smells like pears and turned earth. Most mornings the alpha also stops by to pour coffee into one of those thermos mugs that he takes with him to his office, and this one's no exception. Like always, he says good morning to Levi who grunts in return, feeling shivers shooting down his spine.

“Any special plans for today?” the alpha asks his mother. “Mike mentioned he might need some help on the shop run.”

“He'll need to ask someone else,” the woman tells him, turning to Levi with a wide smile. “We're getting our shots today.”

“Can't fucking wait,” Levi mutters, sipping his tea, snorting when the alpha's thick brows knit above his eyes.

“For rabies?” he asks the woman before turning to Levi. “You've never had your rabies shot?”

“Never had any shots,” Levi tells him without looking at him. The old woman was shocked too when Levi told her, clicking her tongue and huffing like she could hardly believe someone could be so neglectful. After she told Levi that rabies is pretty much the one thing werewolves can get sick and die of, he kind of had to think the same, though it didn't surprise him at all that Kenny wouldn't have thought of something like that.

“I know, I would feel better if we could check the medical records too,” Edith says, reading her son better than Levi can, “but I reckon even if Levi did get the shot as a baby, it's about time he got a booster anyway.”

“Well, I suppose it's better done late than never,” the alpha says, twisting the cap onto his keep-warm cup and sighing quietly. “I'll tell Mike to ask someone else then. The shot should take you out for a while anyway. I guess you'll be keeping an eye on him?”

Edith nods and Levi snorts again, bristling at the way the alpha always talks about him like he's barely in the room.

“Seems like you've got things covered here then,” the man says. “Tell Hange to check that scar on his hand as well. It really should've faded by now.”

“I thought so too,” Edith tells her son. “By the way, did you remember the–”

“Ah, yes, I almost forgot.”

The alpha pushes his hand into his pocket and pulls out two keys linked together with a metal ring. He hands them to Levi.

“The other one's for the main house, so you can come and go more freely,” he explains, “within the limits of your curfew. The other one's for the hybrid. Do you have a driver's license?”

“I can drive,” Levi tells him, but the alpha's narrowing eyes tell him he's not fooled by that.

“So you don't have a driver's license?” he asks, scratching his neck when Levi shakes his head. “That'll have to wait. Even if we got you a learner's permit I can't think of anyone who'd have the time to teach you right now. But obviously that'll need to happen as soon as possible.”

“Right,” Levi says, expecting the alpha to take back the car key and just leave the one to the house, but he doesn't.

“I hope everything goes well with the shot,” he says from the door. “Tell Hange I said hi.”

“I will,” Edith promises him and then turns to Levi. “You ready to go?”

They take the eco car – Edith needs to remind Levi of the seat belt – and drive out across the pack lands to a lonely corner not far from the border where a single house stands, white against the dark green of the forest. They park outside next to an old hippie van that looks close to falling apart. Levi sniffs the air and scowls. Something in the house smells like chemicals, like the stuff you pump into dead people to make them stay fresh for longer. He hesitates, staying by the car until the old woman urges him to keep following.

She knocks and for a good minute there's no sound of anything moving in the house, then the door flies open so unexpectedly that Levi hisses a swear and takes a step back. A man peers out, slim and timid-looking, with mousy hair and a nervous smile that grows genuine when he sees Edith.

“Hi, Moblit,” she greets him after he's opened the door properly. “Is Hange around? We've got a quick medical thing that would be best done today.”

The man's eyes shift quickly to Levi before he nods and lets them into the house. “Hange's in the lab,” he tells Edith, sounding a bit apologetic. “You can go and wait in the procedure room. It'll probably take a bit of coaxing to get them out again.”

“Thanks, Mob,” Edith says, smiling and passing her hand against his cheek before he takes his leave.

Levi hovers around the room, too nervous to sit down even though Edith does. The place stinks; even during the ten odd days he's been at tha alpha's house, Levi's gotten too used to not having anything be artificially scented, from the laundry detergent to the handsoap, and all of the chemicals floating around the room smell worse for it. He breathes out loudly, flinching when the old woman takes his hand.

“Nothing to be nervous about,” she says and smiles. “It's a really simple thing. Hange gives shots to the pups all the time.”

Levi wants to tell her that he's not nervous but it seems like a waste of energy to lie about something like that. Instead he takes a seat next to her, bouncing his leg until the door opens and the man from before walks through, followed by another person; neither fish nor fowl, Levi can't tell much about them other than that they're human. They both walk further into the room and Levi stands up, following Edith's example.

“Hello,” the person – Hange  - says, reaching over to shake Levi's hand; theirs feels a bit clammy. “You're new. Another stray, Edith?”

Levi turns to look at the woman when he feels the hint of embarrassment coming off her. “No, not really,” she barely says before moving on, wrapping her arm around Levi's shoulder. “Levi here needs to get his rabies shot.”

“At your age?” Hange asks him, turning on their heels and walking over to a cupboard. “That's unusual. Well, there's no reason it won't be just as effective now, I suppose. You've not taken any drugs today have you?”

“No,” Levi huffs, glancing at Edith to see how he should feel about this person, but the woman seems to barely notice anything's off.

“That's a good start,” Hange tells him, walking back over to them, holding something in their hand. “Just hop up onto the table and– Ah, I see you've got short sleeves. Saves you the trouble of rolling one up.”

Levi's still frowning when he climbs onto the examination table, gritting his teeth when he sees Hange unwrapping a needle from its individual packaging

“This is a really standard procedure, so I don't want you to be at all worried,” they tell Levi briskly. “I'll be infecting you with a small dose of the virus so your body can learn how to fight it. There are some side effects you should be aware of. You might feel tired – well, either that or really on edge and aggressive. You might also experience some pain when you swallow, which might make you drool more than normally, so don't be surprised if you wake up in a puddle tomorrow and the day after.”

“Great,” Levi mutters, rolling his eyes when Edith pats him on the hand again but appreciating it anyway.

“I suggest taking it easy for a couple of days,” Hange says, “and whatever you do, do not go out hunting. All that excitement might trigger the rage.”

“Right,” Levi whispers, watching Hange fill the syringe but turning quickly away, squeezing the old woman's hand a little when he feels Hange touching his upper arm.

“This'll be over before you know it,” they tell Levi, falling quiet and concentrating, though not very hard.

Levi feels the little pinch on his arm and shuts his eyes, then Hange's already moving away.

“That's it?” he asks and Hange smirks.

“Told you,” they say, throwing the needle out into a small, lidded bin. “And I didn't even have to bribe you with bacon to stay still!”

Levi laughs a little and pulls his hand away from Edith's now that he no longer needs it. She strokes his arm and smiles at him, turning then to Hange like suddenly remembering something.

“Could you take just a quick look at Levi's hand as well,” she says, nudging Levi to show the scar to Hange. “He got a pretty bad burn on it.”

“Let's see,” Hange says, taking Levi's hand in theirs and squinting at the red and wrinkled skin. “How long ago was this?”

“About a week and a half,” Edith rushes to reply on Levi's behalf. “Erwin and I thought it really should've healed by now.”

“Well, there are lots of things that can affect the healing process,” Hange tells her, still squinting at Levi's scar and poking at it, asking him quickly if it hurts, frowning when Levi shakes his head. “Bad nutrition, stress, smoking, you name it. Usually when it slows down this much, it's a combination of things though. Have you been eating well lately?”

“Just like vegetables and stuff,” Levi tells them. “But back at the... Before I pretty much just ate meat.”

“Just meat?” Hange asks.

“Yeah.”

“Not even like, roast potatoes on the side?”

Levi shrugs. “Maybe like.. Fries? But not a lot of those either.”

Next to him Edith tuts and Hange hums in agreement.

“That really isn't good for you,” they tell Levi, sounding absent, still eyeing the scar. “A werewolf's body is a delicate machine. You see, one half of you – the wolf – is omnivorous, whereas the human is a herbivore. The wolf can't survive without meat, but at the same time the human part of you really shouldn't consume too much of it.”

“But like...” Levi starts. “I mean, people need protein from meat, don't they?”

“You can actually get all the protein your human body needs by following a plant based diet,” Hange tells him, finally pulling away from his hand. “There are a lot of things in animal products that aren't good for you – fats, growth hormones, antibiotics... Even the protein in animal products is bad for you.”

“So what are we supposed to do then?” Levi asks them. “Since we're supposed to eat meat but still not supposed to eat it?”

“Well, the best option I've been able to come up with is for you to follow a plant-based diet whenever you're in your human form and limit your meat intake to when you're in your wolf form,” Hange explains. “You see, the digestive tract of a wolf is designed for meat consumption, but your human physiology really isn't, from the structure of your teeth to the way your jaw moves from side to side, to the length of your intestines. So what would be the best for your health would be for you to remain in your wolf form for several hours after you've consumed meat and make the transformation only once you've digested it.”

“Right,” Levi says and snorts; it doesn't really make any sense to him.

“The choice is yours, of course,” Hange says but then frowns. “Though I suppose at the house you'll eat what's available.”

“So the hand?” Edith reminds them and they jump back into motion.

“Ah, yes!” they exclaim. “You're right, the healing is rather on the slow side, but the hand _is_ healing, so I wouldn't worry too much. It'll likely be another couple of days. What was it that you burned yourself with?”

Levi scowls at Hange for a good minute before they get that he's not going to answer. He thinks back to the welding torch and shudders. Edith touches his arm again at that.

“Alright,” Hange says, scratching their head for a few seconds. “Well, I guess... Just take it easy and try to keep a cool head,” Hange tells him, pulling off the disposable gloves they wore during the procedure. “And hey! Welcome to the family! I hope you'll like it here.”

“Err... Thanks,” Levi says, glancing at the old woman and jumping off the table. No point in telling this weirdo that he's not really in the pack, so he just leaves it at that.

Levi waits by the car while Edith talks a bit more with Hange and the timid guy from before. He rubs his arm where he got the shot, leaning onto the hybrid and absently listening in on the others' conversation. Edith is explaning something to Hange, something about a budget meeting and a barbecue, but Levi doesn't care enough to pay close attention. In the end they hug – Levi frowns a little at that – and Edith walks up to the car, smiling at Levi.

“Everything alright?” she asks and Levi shrugs, sighing when the woman scowls at him.

“Fine,” he tells her, getting into the car, rubbing his arm; Edith reminds him of the seatbelt again.

“So,” she says as they're driving back to the alpha's house. “Is there anything else you'd like to do today? Or do you just want to stay at the house and take it easy?”

“Whatever's fine,” Levi says, rolling down the window and leaning onto the frame.

He can smell dogs in the distance; the pack has a good dozen of them, all rescues from local shelters, or so Edith told him. The alpha goes for a run with all of them in tow at too-fucking-early in the morning every god damn day of the week and Levi's glad he's still not been awake at that hour; just imagining the smell of the man's sweat wafting through the house feels too much.

“We could bake something,” Edith suggests. “You could help me make a dessert for dinner tonight.”

Levi grunts out a soundbite that makes Edith laugh.

“Or maybe not,” she says, falling quiet for a moment before continuing, “What did you use to do? Back home?”

“I don't know,” Levi mutters. “Go out into the woods, ride my dirt bike.”

“You have a dirt bike?”

“Yeah,” Levi tells her, “or I used to, anyway. I busted it on the night when I came here. I don't know if anyone found it. Might still be lying in the woods somewhere.”

Edith hums sympathetically for a moment. “So you don't think about getting it back?” she asks. “There are some people in the pack who are good with their hands. I'm sure they could help you fix it up if you–”

“It's okay,” Levi interrupts her, though he's thinking about all the money he's spent over the years fixing it up. “It was kind of a shitty bike anyway.”

She nods and hums again like she's still thinking about the whole thing. In the end she just asks him, “So you don't want to go outside then? Spend some time on the pack lands here?”

Levi hesitates. He has thought about it, ever since he first came to the alpha's house and opened the window in his bedroom to catch the scent of the surroundings. The pack's lands are big, much bigger than Kenny's, and Levi doesn't doubt there's a lot to explore, a lot of leads to follow. But everything feels too hostile still, even with the alpha's assurances of Levi's status in the pack he doesn't feel good about running around by himself.

“Or maybe it just,” Edith starts when Levi doesn't say anything, “doesn't feel enough like home yet?”

Levi shrugs, frowning at the word 'home'. No, this doesn't feel like it, even with the scar on the back of Levi's neck suddenly smelling like nothing, even with how well he sleeps in the safety of his room. He's even getting used to all the veggie crap they eat – he's seen more fruit during the past week and a half than during his whole life before he came here – and he's tasted most of the things Edith has cooked for him, leaving out only the stuff that's smelled like death or worse.

“Well that's alright,” the woman tells him. “You take as long as you need to adjust to things here. The lands aren't going anywhere – and they're just as nice in the fall and winter.”

Levi grunts and they fall quiet for the rest of the drive back to the alpha's house. Once there, Levi escapes the noise of the lunch prep by running upstairs to his room where he lies on his bed, rubbing at his arm and trying not to think about how hungry he is. He falls asleep though he didn't feel sleepy when they got back to the house. When Edith knocks on the door, he wakes up, feeling hot and thirsty and nauseous. The lunch is a baked sweet potato with two different toppings, coleslaw, two buttered slices of sourdough bread and a tall glass of water. Levi drinks it in one go, but it doesn't make him feel any less thirsty. He feels like he could murder someone for a piece of fried chicken, but he doesn't say anything to Edith who takes a seat in the desk chair and watches Levi eat.

“Levi,” she says quietly once he's halfway done with his sweet potato; he only picks up on the hesitation when she speaks. “Would you mind if I asked you something about the night you came here?”

Levi looks up sharply, feeling a sudden and surprisingly strong burst of annoyance. He stares at the woman for a while without saying anything, then shrugs and turns back to his food, shoulders drawn up to his ears as he waits for the question.

“You said you broke your dirt bike on the night you left,” Edith says, “and you were wondering if anyone had found it in the woods yet. Were you trying to drive here on it?”

Levi looks at the woman again, narrowing his eyes, giving nothing but a disinterested shrug as a reply.

“But,” Edith says, leaning back in the chair and throwing one of her legs over another, like preparing to solve a puzzle based on the clues Levi's given her, “if it was late at night, you must've known it wasn't safe to ride the bike in the woods. Why didn't you take the road? At least for a portion of the distance.”

Levi focuses on his coleslaw, feeling more annoyed with the questioning by the second. He can't believe that the woman hasn't picked up on it; most likely she just doesn't care.

“Unless...” she says, like still formulating the thought. She turns to Levi, reeking of pity that makes Levi grit his teeth around the bite he just took out of his slice of bread. “Were you in a hurry? Was someone...” She can't seem to finish the sentence. “Does that burn mark on you hand have something to do with–”

“Why don't you try minding your own fucking business?” Levi asks her, sneering at her disappointment and anger. “Fucking nosy old hag.”

“Stop that right now,” Edith tells him, stern and commanding. “I understand that I crossed a line, but you will not talk to me that way, Levi. Is that understood?”

Levi glances up at her and snorts, turning back to what's left of his food. She stays quiet for a while, like waiting for him to say something.

“We can have the conversation about why you came here on your terms – but we will need to have it sooner or later. I don't want there to be any misunderstanding about that,” she tells him, standing up and walking to the door where she turns around to say, “When you're ready to apologise for what you said, you know where to find me. I will forgive you when you do.”

Levi wants to give the closed door the finger, but instead he pushes the tray of food onto the desk and lies down again, tracing the scar on his hand with his thumb. As if it would help anything to tell the old woman about what happened. The fuck would she do about it? Would she challenge Kenny over Levi getting his fucking feelings hurt? A waste of fucking time. Levi doesn't understand why she gives a fuck, why she won't just let the whole thing be. After all, what's in the past can't hurt you unless you let it, and Levi's not dumb enough to do that.

He spends the day lying on the bed, listening to the sounds he can make out through the window he's cracked open. The dogs bark whenever anyone goes near their enclosure and every time they do, the wolf in Levi struggles to get free, and every time Levi beats it back down, staying in his spot for hours, definitely not thinking about what he said to Edith. If he had thought about her though, he would've come to the conclusion that the bitch had it coming, prying into Levi's personal shit that isn't any of her fucking concern in the first place. Levi can't tell what her angle is, why she's trying to find out anything about how things were before, but there's definitely something she's after.

Levi can tell when the dinner prep starts from the way the noise moves from outside the house to the downstairs of it. He gets up to make sure the door is locked, then lies back down on the bed, then sits up on the edge of it and stares at the floor. He's starving and thirsty, so thirsty he considers running to the bathroom at the end of the hall and drinking right out of the tap. He swallows and grimaces at the sharp stinging pain, glancing at the spot on his arm where Hange stuck their needle. The skin has healed, there's not a sign left on the outside, but when Levi swallows again, he can definitely feel the effects of the shot. Goddamn hippies with their vegetables and vaccinations and healthy living shit.

Downstairs the hippie cult fun seems to continue; Levi can hear laughing and loud bursts of conversation. He grits his teeth, his stomach growling when the scents of the food start wafting up to his room. He can smell barbecue sauce, something spicy and smokey, like a big pot of chili. He looks around at the four walls surrounding him and suddenly the room feels less like a safe spot and more like a prison. Levi gets to his feet and walks quickly to the door, hesitating only for a moment with his hand around the knob. Fuck the alpha and fuck his pack. They can't keep Levi locked up in here forever.

Despite the anger that gives him the kick out the door, Levi skulks his way down the stairs, stopping at the landing to make sure no one's around. He sneaks to the kitchen door, opening it just enough to peer into the room. There are over a dozen people there, all chopping things or carrying bowls or taking things out of the ovens. Levi can see two enormous pots on the stove and a few baking trays full of taco shells on the counter. Tex mex Tuesday? It doesn't smell half bad to Levi.

But something else quickly catches his attention. When the people in the room pass each other, when they hand over utensils and plates and bowls, they touch each other – they all do. They brush their fingers together quickly or pat each other on shoulders, touch each other's necks, nudge each other with elbows. Sometimes they go further – the ones who Levi guesses belong together more than anyone else – and rub the sides of their faces against each others' necks. _Scent marking_. Levi knows what it is, though he's hardly seen it. Back in the trailer park, Kenny used to reward Traute with it maybe a few times a year whenever she'd gone even more out of her way than usual to make his life easier, but other than that hardly anyone in the pack ever did it, at least when Levi was looking. Watching the whole thing from the crack in the door and imagining taking any kind of part in it makes Levi's skin crawl.

“Is this the day then?”

Levi nearly jumps out of his skin when he hears Edith's voice behind himself. He turns to the woman, glancing at her face before shrugging and staring at his shoes, annoyed at himself for the guilt he feels both for what he said earlier and for spying at the door like a creep. She doesn't seem to be angry, though; she just looks at Levi, a little exasperated, a little amused.

“You sure you feel up to it?” she asks him. “You don't feel at all weird from the–”

“I'm fine,” Levi tells her, clicking his tongue. “Might as well get it over and done with.”

She seems to want to say something, maybe to tell Levi this shouldn't be something he just “gets over and done with” but in the end she stays quiet about it, giving Levi an understanding look – as if she has a fucking clue about what he's going through.

“It's just the nearest and dearest tonight,” she lets him know. “We're having a barbecue later this month where we should get just about everyone. So this should be good practice.”

“Right,” Levi says, swallowing and wincing from the pain; he had no idea the pack was so big.

“Just follow me then, I guess,” she says, flashing Levi a quick smile. “Unless there was something you wanted to say to me?”

Levi grits his teeth and stares at his shoes as the ten seconds of silence grows nearly unbearable. He can sense the woman is disappointed, but he just bites down harder; fuck if he's gonna apologise for making sure no one snoops around his business.

“Well, I did say 'when you're ready',” Edith finally says and sighs. “Come on then. I'll introduce you to everyone.”

Levi follows her into the room, body hunched up and shoulders drawn up to his ears, hands in the pockets of his jeans. He can tell the alpha notices him first, like Levi's scent is something bound to trigger a response in him. The others turn to look at him too; he can feel their gazes burning his skin when Edith lays her hand on his shoulder.

“Everyone, this is Levi,” she says. “Levi, this is... Well, everyone. I suppose you can all introduce yourselves – those of you who haven't met before.”

They do a speedy round of the room, Levi catches the names and forgets most of them just as fast. Everything seems to be moving too quickly, people's voices all seem either too quiet or too loud. In the end Levi nods mutely at no one in particular, flinching when Edith draws her hand away from his shoulder. He meets the alpha's gaze for two seconds and turns away, feeling suddenly naked when Edith walks past him and further into the room, leaving him hovering by the door.

“Did you need me to chop more of the red onion, Mama?” the one called Marie asks, showing Edith a small bowl that's full to the brim; she shakes her head and laughs.

“I reckon that'll be enough for this bunch,” she tells her, taking the bowl from her hands. “We might as well start carrying it over, the kids will be here any minute.” Like following an order, everyone who's still sitting at the island stands up and grabs whatever's closest. “Erwin and Mike, you take the pots off the stove. Levi, could you bring out one of the trays with the taco shells on them?”

Just like everyone else, Levi jumps into motion, walking across the room to grab the tray Edith was talking about. He hears the front door opening in the distance when he walks out into the dining room.

“Right on time!” Edith exclaims, rushing out into the hallway to greet the kids.

Levi stays behind, hovering awkwardly in the corner and watching the others as they keep getting the food ready on display. There's so much happening – too much – and Levi tries to keep up with it, tries to keep an eye on everyone in the room, but when the children burst in with their minders, it finally becomes impossible. Their curiosity and excitement feel like too much, and Levi escapes into the kitchen. He walks over to the sink and fills a glass with water, drinking it down greedily and wincing with every gulp, finally hissing a swear when he sets the glass down on the table.

“You alright?” someone asks behind him.

Levi turns and sees the alpha, gets a hit of his particular cocktail of emotions: concern, wariness, an unwillingness to get involved. Levi narrows his eyes and clicks his tongue.

“I'm fine,” he growls, putting the glass into the dishwasher. He wants to tell the alpha to mind his business like he told his mother, but there's something so commanding about his mere presence that Levi turns his eyes on his shoes.

“Well...” the alpha starts, his words trailing off, like he doesn't know if he should challenge what Levi said or just leave it be. “The pups are getting ready to eat. You should take your place in the line.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, still staring at the floor.

There's a moment when they both wait for the other to move, like a miniature stand-off that means nothing but which neither one of them wants to lose. Levi grits his teeth to fight it, rubbing the scar on his neck when the alpha's stare begins to feel unbearable. In the end he gives up but refuses to make a sound, passing the man without looking at him and bracing himself for the mess of noise that's filled the dining room; it seems to have doubled in volume while he's been in the kitchen.

He joins the line of people waiting for their food, feeling the alpha coming up behind him and realising then he must be the oldest of the under eighteen-year-olds. There's a girl in front of him who looks about thirteen, and everyone ahead of her in the line must be under ten. Levi expects some kind of a reaction from the others to him getting his food before their alpha, but beyond a moment of surprise from some, there's nothing he can pick up on – though it could just mean they're hiding it well not to insult the alpha, since he's the one who claimed Levi in the first place. Can't let that superficial playing-nice fool him. These people can turn on him any second.

“That's the spicier option,” the alpha tells Levi when he picks up a ladel sticking out of one of the big pots. “The other pot is the milder one in case you...”

The alpha's words falter when Levi looks him dead in the eyes and starts portioning the chili into his tacos. He fills them as far as he can before turning away.

“Suit yourself,” the man mutters, passing the hot chili and scooping up some of the milder stuff for himself.

It takes Levi three bites before he starts regretting his decision. The chili isn't as hot as he thought, but it burns his already sore throat worse for the spices in it. The kids are making a mess, there's someone wiping one of their hands clean every two minutes. One of the women across the table from Levi is breastfeeding – something he's never seen in person, and he's pretty sure he never wanted to witness for the first time while he's trying to fight down a bunch of tacos. The people around him are talking but to Levi it sounds different to the conversation he heard during the dinner prep, more mindful, like they're all as painfully aware of Levi's presence at the table as he himself is. He tries to disappear in his seat – for his own sake as much as theirs – but when the woman next to him moves her hand close to his plate, something in Levi snaps, some instinct born around the cookfire of the trailer park, where every piece of meat someone else ate was one you couldn't fill your own belly with.

“Back off, bitch!”

“Levi!” the alpha shouts at once, like he's been keeping an eye on Levi the whole time.

Levi shrinks in his seat as the woman pulls back her hand and looks around the table, confused.

“I was just reaching for the avocado,” she says, and beyond her confusion Levi can feel a sudden spike in hostility from everyone around the table; it makes him draw his head even further between his shoulders.

“Apologise to Marie,” the alpha orders Levi, who mutters a quick 'sorry' without looking at the woman. “Is that the best you can do?”

“Well I fucking said I was sorry,” Levi snaps, turning to look at the alpha when his anger flares. “What the fuck do you want if that's–”

“Mind your language,” the alpha orders, thick brows drawn deep over his eyes. “You can talk like that around your friends if you want, but not around us, and certainly not around the children.”

“Jesus Christ,” Levi huffs, staring at his plate for two seconds before pushing it away. “You know what? Fuck this.”

“Levi,” the alpha calls out again when he stands up, and just the name is almost enough to stop Levi on the spot. “Levi, sit down and finish your–”

“Fuck you,” Levi tells him, marching out of the room even though the alpha commands him not to, running quickly up to his room and locking the door.

Fucking hippies. Should never have come here. His breath is still shallow and panting from the anger, and for a few seconds Levi looks around himself, wanting to pack up his things and go, only then remembering that he came here with nothing and that if he wants to leave, he'll have to leave with nothing too. He lies down on the bed and draws his knees up to his chest, making up plans in his head for how he'd leave in the middle of the night, make no noise or fuss about it, just disappear and never come back, just leave these fuckers wondering what they did wrong.

It's like the thoughts help burn the anger out of Levi's body until he's nothing but scorched earth on the inside and his limbs hang limp off the edge of the bed. When Edith knocks on his door a couple hours later, Levi can barely force himself to stand up and cross the room to let her in. He falls straight back onto his little nest of covers and pillows, his mind feeling nearly as numb and powerless as his body.

“I guess this is the paralysis phase of the shot, huh?” Edith says as she sits down on the edge of the bed; Levi can feel her hand hovering over his arm for a moment before she pulls it away, leaving some part of him wishing she'd touched him instead. “Well, that was a lot more excitement than we usually get during one of our mid-week dinners.”

Levi snorts quietly, feeling a sharp sting of embarrassment but saying nothing. Behind him the woman sighs.

“You missed dessert,” she tells him gently. “Ice cream sundaes.”

Levi grunts, imagining the cold on his sore throat. No doubt Edith planned it somehow, though she says nothing about it.

“You could have some now if you want,” she lets him know. “Or some more food. Are you hungry?”

Levi shakes his head, keeping his eyes on the wall, flinching when Edith finally lays her hand on his shoulder.

“Levi,” she starts quietly, “why didn't you tell me you weren't feeling well?”

He frowns, thinking about the question but finding no answer beyond “I didn't think you would give a shit” or “what difference would it have made? It's not like you can make me feel better.” In the end he just shrugs.

“You _can_ tell me, you know,” Edith says. “I'd like it if you told me so we could try and figure something out together. You don't need to carry things all by yourself.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, and he's not sure if he means it sarcastically or not.

Edith pats him on the arm a few times before standing up. “If there's anything you need, just let me know,” she says, crossing the room; Levi doesn't call out to her until she's at the door.

“I'm sorry,” he mutters, glancing behind himself at her before turning away again. “About before.”

She stays quiet for a moment and when she speaks Levi can hear the smile on her face. “It's alright, Levi,” she says. “I forgive you.”

After she leaves, Levi tries to get some sleep, even undressing down to his underwear, but the thought of ice cream keeps coming back to haunt him every time he swallows and feels that sharp pain in his throat. In the end the thought forces him out of bed and he pulls on a t-shirt before sneaking down the stairs, only stopping at the kitchen door when he hears voices on the other side of it.

“You won't change my mind about this, Erwin,” Edith says to her son; Levi can hear him sighing. “It should've been you.”

“Be that as it may,” he says, “I'm glad you went up there and made sure he's alright.”

“You know I'm not his mother,” she tells him, sounding a little angry. “I don't know what I'm supposed to be to him, but you do. I bet it would make him feel a lot better about being here if the alpha of the pack showed him what his place and role here are.”

“And what are they?” he asks her. “Do you know? Because I sure as hell don't.”

“You're the one who brought him here,” she counters heatedly. “You need to start stepping up and taking responsibility for that, making sure he knows you want him here.”

“And does he want to be here?” the alpha asks. “Him fitting in here is a two-way street. At this point I can't force myself to feel better about this situation any more than I can force him.”

“He wants to be here,” Edith says. “You know he does. He wouldn't have come here if–”

“Like he wouldn't have crossed the border near twenty times if he didn't want to be in the pack?” he asks her now. “And still when asked, he said he wanted nothing to do with us. Face it, mother. The only reason he's here is because this place is better than where he comes from – which isn't much of a compliment – or because he was driven out of his pack. Not because he really wants to be here.”

Levi steps back from the door slowly, hearing Edith's muffled reply but not stopping to listen. He skulks back up the stairs, locking himself in his room again. He tries not to think about what he just heard and fails as soon as he does. He looks around himself in the room, smooths his hand against the duvet on the bed, thinks of the clothes in the wardrobe, and wonders if the alpha is right, tries to ask himself that same question: why is he here? The walls and furniture tell him nothing. He glances at the alarm clock on the nightstand. Quarter past eleven.

On an impulse Levi grabs the house key the alpha gave him that morning and tiptoes his way to the front door, slipping soundlessly out onto the porch. He undresses quickly, leaving his clothes in a neat pile by the door with the key hidden under a flower pot, switching to his fur and setting off in a run. Suddenly the world is simple, just scents nearby and scents in the distance, and that sense of belonging that kept pulling Levi over the border. He sets for it again, his human side keeping the wolf in check so it won't go running off to the corners of the pack's lands it finds more interesting.

The clearing, when he passes it, feels like no-man's-land, like it never belonged to anyone. It smells even sweeter now than Levi remembered, the new flowers that have bloomed in his absence spreading their scent even in the cool night air. He slows down to sniff at the alpha's old marks on the edges of the meadow, letting his wolf take charge for those few moments before he takes the reins again.

He doesn't stop until he reaches the border, where too the scents have grown stronger – but for the worse. The tension still brewing in Kenny's pack seems to have seeped into the very earth, the little streams that run across the land, the trees that tower above him. It's like a perpetual smell of blood that hangs in the air, making Levi's paws falter and bringing him to a stop. He thinks back to it, the rusty, squeaking doors of the trailers, the mold that grows in the corners of the bathroom, how the stench of bleach is preferable to any other smell other than frying meat.

Maybe the alpha is right. Maybe the only reason Levi crossed was to get away from all of that, just to be anywhere else but there. Maybe some part of him knew the other pack had money, that they could give him things he could never have gotten in the trailer park. But when he thinks of Erwin's pack, Levi doesn't think of his new clothes. He thinks of Edith's hand on his arm. He thinks about her asking him if he wants an ice cream sundae.

Taking one last breath of that stale, iron-tangy air, Levi turns around and starts heading home; determined to make it home.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've said this already on my Tumblr and twitter: this story is a part of a series. All in all Bite is the first part of four and these are the first ten chapters out of forty.
> 
> More coming soon!
> 
> my [tumblr](http://hedera-helixwriteseruri.tumblr.com)  
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

Determined to live out his embarrassment and learn how to play nice with the pack, the following morning Levi changes the routine, waking up to the beeping of an old alarm clock at the crack of dawn. He showers and gets dressed, forgetting to rip the tag off the shirt again before he's pulled it over his head. His eyes are stinging, he wants to go back to sleep but forces himself to gather up the dirty laundry instead. At the door he turns around and looks at the room, makes the bed and walks back to the door to look again. It's not right. The thought makes him narrow his eyes. He tries to imagine how it'd be better; with the bed at the opposite wall maybe, and with the desk where the bed is now. Levi picks up the laundry again, making a mental note so he'll remember to ask about rearranging the room a bit, but he forgets about it almost as soon as he's walked out the door.

He can smell it before he's reached the bottom of the stairs, a heady stench of musk and sweat that comes off the alpha and wafts through the house. It stops him dead on his tracks, makes him cover his nose and mouth with his hand. It's coming from the kitchen – of course it fucking is, right from where Levi's going. He grits his teeth and takes a moment to breathe before crossing the hall to the door, stopping behind it and pushing it open just enough to peer inside. He can see the alpha standing by the kitchen island next to Edith, wearing a pair of those ridiculous running tights and a t-shirt made of a similar material, the sweat stains invisible in the black fabric. The clothes cling to his body, reveal the muscles Levi's seen in his dreams; his thighs are three times as thick as Levi's own scrawny chicken legs. He must work out half a dozen times a week, on top of the morning runs. Fucking Captain America looking piece of shit. Levi inhales again, taking in the scent of fresh air that clings to the alpha beyond the perspiration, so light Levi can barely catch it. They're looking at something, Edith and the alpha, peering down at a phone the man is holding between them. Edith is wearing a deep frown and every once in a while she stops to shake her head.

“I'm not going to learn all that, Erwin,” she tells her son, sounding impatient. “Honestly, you should just teach him yourself. I can't make heads or tails of that stuff.”

“It's not that complicated. Look,” the alpha says, pointing at something on the small screen. “You see, the pin code goes here and then you just–”

Edith and the alpha both turn to look at Levi when he pushes into the room, doing his best not to look at the man as he hovers by the door, his arms still full of dirty laundry. Something in Erwin's posture changes, an almost imperceptible tightening that Levi catches along with the smell of apprehension that pierces through the sweat for a second.

“Good morning,” Edith tells him softly, crossing the room to take the laundry from him; Levi catches her almost reaching out her hand to touch him. “You feeling better?”

Levi grunts and shrugs, thanking her quietly when she takes the laundry. He walks over to the island and takes a seat, decidedly not looking at the alpha as he reaches for the jug of orange juice on the table and pours himself a glass. The smell of the man is suddenly so much stronger, and Levi sticks his nose into the glass to keep from smelling him, if even for a second. He seems to have frozen on his spot, the phone in his hand, and he doesn't move until Edith walks back into the room.

“Let me get you some breakfast,” she says to Levi, smiling and running her hand quickly over his shoulder when she walks past him. “You should show him the phone, Erwin,” she calls out from across the room; Levi catches the man's dismay in the way his scent changes.

“Right,” he mutters, clearing his throat and moving a little bit closer to Levi who glances at the man's thighs and grits his teeth, feeling a fluttering in the pit of his stomach. “So, we got you a phone since you didn't seem to have one, so you can call home and use it if you're ever in trouble or if you need–”

“Why do you think I'm gonna get myself into trouble?” Levi asks him a little angrily, feeling a sharp wave of pleasure at the man's confusion.

“I didn't mean to...” he starts and sighs. “I just meant you should use it if you ever need anything.”

“Uh-huh,” Levi voices, taking the phone when the alpha hands it to him. “So what do I do with this?”

“You switch it on from this button here,” the man tells him, showing him. “The rest is quite straightforward, you should be able to figure it out by yourself. Just remember to keep the wifi on when you're in the house. The monthly data usage is limited.”

“Right,” Levi says. The phone feels much too flimsy in his hand and he suddenly remembers the cracks that run through the screen of Farlan's. “What happens if I break it?”

“Uhh...” the alpha starts, huffing a breath. “Obviously you should try not to. But if you do break it, I guess we'll have to get you a new one – though the money for things like that doesn't grow on trees, of course.”

“Right,” Levi says again. “So I can like... Come up with my own passcode and stuff?”

“Of course,” the man tells him. “Someone your age can be expected to want a bit of privacy and you can absolutely have it. Just another reminder that we take breaking the law very seriously here, so try not to do anything that might qualify as such.”

Levi clicks his tongue and places the phone gently on the counter. Fucking asshole. What does he think he's going to do? Start running a drug cartel from his bedroom? Piece of shit. Just 'cause Ralph and Djel cook up the odd batch of meth every now and then doesn't mean Levi's got anything to do with it.

“Not that I'm saying you're...” the alpha starts, like sensing Levi's anger. It seems he doesn't know how to finish his sentence. “Just... Like I said, try not to get into trouble – with the law or otherwise.”

Levi glares at the man when he crosses the room to the sink, passing by Edith who brings Levi his breakfast: tofu scramble with onions, sweet peppers and chili, two slices of toast, a cup of tea and a small bowlful of peaches and strawberries. Over by the sink, the alpha fills a glass with water and starts drinking. Levi keeps watching the up and down bobbing of his Adam's apple until Edith catches his attention.

“Is there something you want to do today,” she asks him, “or would you rather just take it easy for another day?”

Levi shrugs. “I was thinking...” he starts, biting his lip for a few seconds and looking down at his plate when he senses the alpha turning his eyes on him. “Cause you said everyone around here does something to help out so I thought I should too.”

He glances up to see Edith and Erwin exchanging a look; she's smiling widely enough to show her teeth.

“I think that's a great idea,” she says, beaming at Levi. “What would you like to do? I mean, there's lots of things. You could help out in the garden or with the food prep or–”

“Uhh...” Levi interrupts her, pushing his tofu scramble around the plate. “Is there anything I could do like... By myself? Or without so many people, you know.”

Edith shares another look with her son, who walks over with his glass of water, thick brows furrowed. Levi wonders if he's struggling to come up with something safe for him to do, nothing too important, nothing that requires someone responsible and careful. In the end he scratches the back of his head – spreading that smell of sweat everywhere – and looks at Levi, like weighing him, like trying to determine if he's up for the job.

“I suppose you could take the dogs out for a run later today,” he says, making Levi's heart skip a beat. “If you'd like.”

“Yeah,” Levi agrees at once. “Yeah, I can do that. I love dogs.”

“Good!” Edith exclaims next to him. “I'm so glad we could find something that you like!”

“It's quite a demanding job,” the alpha warns Levi, looking cautious. “Our rescues are all big breeds. You'll have to make sure they know who's the boss right from the get go.”

“Yeah,” Levi says and nods, keeping himself from clicking his tongue. Hell, he practically ran the pack when Kenny wasn't there. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? “I can do that.”

The alpha's still hesitant, looking Levi over like he's nowhere near as sure about that, but in the end he gives up. “You should go sometime after lunch,” he says. “There's a trail that goes up to the lake that the dogs are all used to. I can show you where it starts from before you go.”

“Okay.”

“It's a good three and a half miles,” the man goes on. “If that's too long for you, you can always turn back before you get to the lake. But of course it would be better for the dogs if you–”

“I can do the whole trail,” Levi nearly barks at Erwin, making his expression tighten at once.

“Good,” he states, picking up his phone and keys from the counter. “Come by the office when you're ready to go and I'll show you the ropes.”

Levi grunts and turns back to his breakfast, drowning the stench of the alpha's sweat under the spices of the tofu scramble when he walks past him and out of the room. Edith sighs as she takes a seat across the kitchen island with a cup of tea. Levi tastes his own: it's rich and spicy and reminds him a little bit of Christmas. He pours a bit of oat milk into the cup, just like the woman has done. It tastes even better after that. Suddenly Levi wishes everyone in the pack was as easy to deal with as Edith, that they'd get what he's trying to say like she does.

“Does your throat still ache?” she asks him, smiling when he shakes his head. “That's good. I thought maybe that was why you're up so early.”

“I set an alarm,” Levi tells her, suddenly remembering his bedroom and asking, “Is it okay if I move stuff around in my room?”

The woman looks surprised for a few seconds before nodding. “Sure,” she promises. “Of course, make yourself at home. You can change it up however you like.”

“Thanks,” Levi says, turning back to his breakfast again but looking up a few seconds later. “And could I have some stuff to clean it with? Just to clean the floors and stuff like that?”

“Sure, you can have that too,” Edith says and laughs. “I'll help you find everything you need. And if you want, we can go through some of the storage rooms to see if we could find some new things for the room, curtains and things that you might like better or–”

“Thanks, but,” Levi starts, emptying his mouth, “I don't need any of that. Just the cleaning stuff is fine.”

“Are you sure?” she asks him. “They're just old things that no one is using. I'm sure no one would mind if you took some of them if there's like a color you prefer or–”

“Thanks,” Levi says again, feeling a bit uncomfortable having to tell her again but he's really not going to start decorating with pillows and curtains or some gay shit like that, “but I don't need any of that. I really just don't care.”

“Oh,” Edith voices, nodding her head slowly. “Well, if you ever change your mind.”

“Sure,” Levi says and they fall quiet. He can still feel how pleased she is, like he's just announced he's going to be staying there forever – though Levi still finds it weird that she'd be happy about something like that.

“So you're all good? You want some more breakfast?” she asks Levi after a minute, continuing after he shakes his head, “Do you know what to do with the phone? Did Erwin explain it to you?”

“I'll figure it out,” Levi tells her, emptying his glass of orange juice. After all, if someone Erwin's age can use it how hard can it be?

Levi can sense that Edith is annoyed with her son, but she doesn't say anything about it to him. Instead she gets to her feet when she hears the sound of a door opening and closing in the distance, pouring out two cups of coffee like she already knows who has entered the house. Levi forces himself to stay in his seat though his heart has started racing. When the beta walks in with his mate, Levi makes the effort to bring their names to mind: Mike and Nan. They glance at him and for a second Levi's worried one of them is going to bring up the dinner, but all they say is a quick good morning as they take seats by Edith.

“Erwin left already?” Mike asks her, nodding when she does. “I ran into Flagon yesterday. He asked about the budget meeting and I thought–”

“Right,” Edith says, like suddenly remembering it. “You should probably swing by the office and let Erwin know. They'll want to get these new expenses sorted as soon as possible.”

Levi glances at the phone on the table and realizes the woman must be talking about all the things they've bought him. The thought makes him so uncomfortable he's nearly ready to pull all the new clothes off himself and run out into the woods to live the rest of his numbered days as a lone wolf.

“Did you know it would cost so much?” Nan asks Edith then; Levi frowns when he sees her shaking her head. “I mean, I get that he's pretty much the only specialist in the country but to charge that much for a consultation...”

“But if it's what they need then there's no way around it,” Edith says and Nan seems to agree. “If Erwin and Flagon say it's just about moving some things around and making it work then I don't see a problem – even if it is more to calm Marie and Nile down than for any other reason.”

A pensive silence falls between them and Levi tries his best to decipher what they're talking about, but none of it makes much sense to him. At least he gets that the money they were talking about has nothing to do with him, which gives him the biggest feeling of relief he's felt in the alpha's house so far.

“Any news from dad?” Mike asks after a while, taking a sip from his cup when Edith sighs.

“That old scatter-brain,” she huffs, but so affectionately that Levi can feel it in the corners of his own mouth. “He was supposed to confirm our Skype call for tonight, but he never replied to my message. All I can say is he'd better show up for it.”

“If he knows what's good for him,” Nan finishes, laughing a little and emptying her cup before she turns to Levi. “Is that a new phone?”

Levi turns to look at it and nods wordlessly, passing it to Nan when she asks for it.

“I've got the same kind,” she tells him and smiles. “If you've got any problems with it, you can come and ask me.”

“Sure,” Levi says, pouring himself another glass of orange juice just to have something to do.

The sound of the door opening and closing carries through the house again, making Levi tense up immediately. Edith gets up from her seat again to pour out more coffee that she hands to Marie and her husband when they walk into the kitchen. As soon as Levi catches their scent, he wants to disappear, his embarrassment raising a clammy sweat on his neck. He pulls his head between his shoulders when they sit down; as soon as they’ve said their good mornings, a painfully awkward silence falls over the table, unbroken save for the slurping sound Marie and her husband make when they drink their coffee. Levi knows this is his moment to redo his sucky apology from the night before, but it takes him a good twenty seconds to gather up the courage to actually speak out and even then he starts with a long “uhh.”

“Sorry about the whole thing last night,” he mutters, barely managing to glance up at Marie. “I was… kind of on edge I guess.”

“Right, Mama said you had your rabies shot,” Marie says in a tone so neutral that Levi can’t tell how she means it.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, fidgeting with his glass.

“It’s okay,” Marie says, pausing to sip her coffee. “If the pups are anything to go by, I can sort of understand why you said what you said. They’re little terrors after their shots.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, glancing up at the woman. “Sorry.”

“Water under the bridge,” she tells him and shrugs.

The silence returns until Mike, Nan, Marie and her husband leave to get their breakfasts. As soon as they’re gone, Edith reaches across the table and squeezes Levi’s hand, smiling at him so proudly Levi has to look away not to groan out loud.

 

He goes back to his room to escape the breakfast rush and lies down on the bed, starting to figure out the smart phone little by little. He manages to set a passcode and a ringtone and download some apps he's seen on Farlan's phone. He then dials the boy's number, letting it ring until he gets his voicemail before trying again. After the third try Levi finally gives up, typing Farlan a quick message that reads: it's me you idiot pick up your phone. It makes the boy answer, but he still sounds scared when he does.

“You spend more time on your phone than anyone else I know and still you don't pick it up when someone calls?” Levi asks him, grinning when he hears the loud gasp from Farlan's end of the line.

“Well how the fuck was I supposed to know it was you?” Farlan asks him angrily. “Where the hell are you calling from? I went by the house and Kenny said you had run away!”

“Yeah,” Levi says, rolling onto his back. “Yeah, I guess I kind of did.”

“Jesus Christ,” Farlan huffs. “Where the hell are you? Does Kenny know where you are?”

“Yeah, he knows,” Levi tells him. “I'm not far from town but... It's kind of a long story.”

“Well are you okay?” Farlan asks next. “Do you have like... Do you have a place to stay? Food? Are you hurt?”

“Yeah, I'm doing alright,” Levi says, looking around the room – better than alright. “This place is okay.” He takes a pause to weigh his next words; saying them out loud still makes his heart beat faster. “I think I'm going to stay here for a while.”

“I'm happy you've got some place but...” Farlan starts, his words trailing off for a moment. “I mean... What happened? Why'd you leave?”

“Uhh...” Levi starts, thinking back to the welding torch and grimacing. “Like I said, it's kind of a long story.”

“Okay?” Farlan breathes, falling quiet again for a moment before saying, “Well are you coming back for school at least?”

The words make Levi wince. School. The thought hasn't even crossed his mind since he got to the alpha's house, not with everything else that's been going on. He hesitates a moment on the phone, not knowing what to say. The pack's house is in a whole other school district. Would he even be able to go back to his old school if he wanted to?

“I don't know,” he finally says. “I haven't thought about it. I'll need to talk to someone here about that, figure something out.”

“You know you have to finish high school,” Farlan tells him again, like so many times before when he's talked about quitting. “You have to, Levi.”

“I know,” he says. “I know, and I will. I just... Need to figure something out.”

“You'd better,” Farlan tells him, falling quiet for a moment. “This is really crazy, you know that right?”

Levi can't help laughing. “Yeah, I know.”

“You just... ran away from home,” Farlan breathes, laughing nervously. “Like... You actually did that.”

“Yeah,” Levi says, hesitating for a moment before continuing. “Listen. You honestly don't have to worry about me. I'm doing alright. I'm with some good people here and I've got everything I need so... Try not to worry. Okay?”

“Okay,” Farlan promises, though Levi can still hear the apprehension in his voice. “Can I at least come and visit you? See where you are?”

Levi grimaces, thinking about all the scent marking and other weird shit he'd have a hard time explaining to the boy.

“I don't know about that,” he says, “but we could meet up in town?”

“Sure,” Farlan agrees. “I just want to see you and make sure you're okay. Because I know what you're like.”

“What am I like?”

“You know,” Farlan says. “You never want people to know you're feeling bad. You bottle it up and you lie about it. So I want to see for myself.”

Levi sighs. “Yeah alright,” he has to admit. “How about I text you when I can get a ride to town? It'll probably be sometime later this week.”

“Okay,” Farlan says, “and then you can explain this whole thing to me. Right?”

“Right,” Levi promises reluctantly, already wondering how he's going to make it sound anything other than batshit crazy.

They end the call and Levi curls up on the bed, closing his eyes and breathing in the smell of the room that's growing more and more familiar as the days go by. It still reminds him of the smell of the bite on his neck and he knows that scent is supposed to signal home to him, but he can't say whether it does or not, doesn't know how home is supposed to feel. Safe, probably. Like a place where you can just be yourself, whoever that is, and where people will let you be that. It's a nice thought – or a nice fantasy at least – that this place could be that to Levi, but the feeling just isn't there. Too many rules here, and people don't understand where Levi comes from, how he's used to doing things – not even Edith gets that, and Erwin least of all.

He thinks of the alpha and how uncomfortable the man is whenever they're in the same room together and sneers under his breath. No matter how much effort Erwin puts into covering that up with that boss-man bullshit, Levi can still make it out, the guilt and rejection lurking just beneath the surface. It's not unclear to Levi why he feels so embarrassed – hell, he'd probably fling himself off a cliff if he'd claimed someone like him, a trailer park prince who's barely making it through high school. He was probably looking for an asset, someone who'll strengthen the pack, though Levi can't be sure what the alpha wanted him to be. All he knows is that this clearly isn't it. The thought hurts more than he'd like to admit even to himself. An image of Erwin comes to him though he'd rather it didn't, the sight of the sweaty running gear sticking to his muscles like it had been painted onto his body. Levi rolls onto his stomach, palming his crotch a little nervously and hoping the image won't stir anything down there. No such luck. He crosses the room to make sure the door is locked and takes care of it quickly. He can't think of the alpha, and wouldn't even if he could. The rejection is too painful and it makes him too angry for him to get off on anything that's got to do with Erwin.

Afterwards he washes up and goes back downstairs where Edith is cleaning up after the breakfast and he forces himself to give her a hand with that. It's weird, but he ends up enjoying it, the fresh smell of the eco soaps and things they use that are so gentle they don't even burn Levi's hands. The countertops are all some kind of polished stone that's easy to get clean, and the two dishwashers handle the plates and mugs and utensils, leaving Levi free to do more of the things he likes. He vacuum-cleans the floors while Edith sits down for a minute, and she thanks him for that enough times to make him feel uncomfortable again.

“Oh, you're such a blessing,” she tells him when he sits down with her for a cup of tea, and her hand twitches like she's about to touch him again. “I get more help here when Ansel is home – and any other time but summer. Everyone's so busy in the garden these days.”

“You sell your stuff on the farmer's market,” Levi says and Edith nods.

“Whatever we don't eat ourselves,” she says. “We try to be as self-sufficient as possible, but it's hard with a pack this size. Ansel and Erwin have always been very interested in sustainability, very strict with land use and hunting. We can't take more than the land is willing to give us.”

Levi frowns, remembering Kenny's pack's last hunt and the barely grown prey they brought back with them. The game is growing rare on that side of the border. Levi's known that for years, he's heard Kenny and Traute talking about it, and suddenly he feels a sting of worry for them, wondering when they'll finally run out.

“It's part of why the pack is doing so well,” Edith tells Levi. “A lot of it is down to Ansel's hard work. When I came here back in the 80s, things were very different. But Ansel was always a visionary and he really turned things around – or rather we turned thing around together.”

“So where are you from anyway,” Levi asks her, “and how'd you end up here?”

“I met Ansel back in college,” she says, smiling warmly at the memories. “My former pack still lives on the east coast. We visit them from time to time.”

Levi nods along and tries to picture Edith as a young woman. He wonders if she felt scared when Erwin's dad bit her or whether she was ready for it. In the picture Levi draws of it in his mind, Ansel looks just like Erwin before he transforms, chasing Edith across the pack lands. Levi glances at the ring on her finger, a plain gold hoop he has barely noticed before.

“Your family has lived in these parts for a long time,” Edith says to Levi, catching his attention. “I've read a little about it. I've got an interest in local history.”

“I guess,” Levi mutters, taking a sip from his cup; he doesn't know much about it, and doesn't really care either. His mind it still on what the woman told him about her past, but he doesn't know how to ask her about it, about the bite on her neck which he senses is different from his, just like Nan and Mike's.

Levi can smell Edith's hesitation when she turns to him and asks, “Do you miss home?” in a voice that's careful and calm.

Levi shrugs and frowns. “Not really,” he says, though he's not sure it's true.

“No?” Edith asks. “Not even your uncle?”

Levi shakes his head. He can sense the woman calculating something, like she's trying to decide if asking Levi another question will do more harm than good.

“Did you two...” she ends up starting, pausing for a few seconds. “I was wondering if you two parted on bad terms?”

Levi doesn't answer her, letting the silence tell the woman whatever she wants to know as he turns his eyes on his cup of tea. He can feel the waves of sadness coming off her, confusing and unsettling – why anyone would care so much about a complete stranger is still beyond him.

“Well I hope you'll be able to resolve it one day, whatever it is that happened between you two,” Edith whispers, touching Levi's hand gently in passing; the warmth of her skin makes Levi shiver. “And I hope... I hope you'll be able to find a home here, with us. We're all really happy to have you here – even though most of us don't know you that well yet.”

Levi doubts the members of Erwin's pack knowing him would make them like him any more than they do now, but he doesn't want to say that to Edith, knowing it would probably upset her even more.

“Do you know how long you'll be staying yet?”

Levi shrugs again, gritting his teeth when he says, “A while. I don't know. Till I turn eighteen at least. If that's okay.”

“Of course,” Edith whispers, touching his hand again. “As long as you like.”

“I was wondering...” Levi starts, pausing to bite his lip for a few seconds. “I mean, school starts again soon and I was just... wondering about that.”

“Oh my God, that's right,” Edith gasps, like only now realising it. “Oh, I can't believe I never even thought about that! We'll need to sort that out, won't we?”

“Yeah,” Levi agrees, laughing a little when he sips his tea.

“I'll tell you what,” she says, her expression a little absent like she's trying to figure out a solution already. “Let me talk to Erwin about it, we'll take a look at the rules and regulations of this stuff and see what's what and I'll let you know first thing. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Thank God you mentioned it,” Edith says and laughs, pressing her hand onto her chest. “I honestly can't believe I didn't think of that. I guess you just seem so old that I didn't make that mental connection.”

Levi scoffs a little and tries to hide the fact he's pleased to hear the woman thinks he seems older than he is.

“How do you feel about it?” she asks him quickly. “Would you be upset if you had to change schools?”

Levi thinks about Farlan for a few seconds but eventually shakes his head. “It's just a year, right?” he says. “I'm pretty sure I'd manage.”

“Right,” she agrees, beaming at him and sighing. “I guess that's one more thing I need to add to my to do list. I swear it just keeps getting longer every day.”

 

Levi stays downstairs and helps out with the lunch prep, joining the rest of them when they eat though even the thought makes him nervous. This time Erwin is the last to arrive, walking in with a man Levi remembers is called Flagon because it's the dumbest name he's ever heard in his life. They get their bowlfuls of onion soup and withdraw to a corner of the dining room table, looking over some paperwork while they eat. Levi catches bits and pieces of their conversation, the alpha's voice somehow managing to find his ears even with half the pups screaming their heads off. He also can't help but notice Marie taking a seat all the way across the table from him, like despite the apology she's afraid he's going to snap at her again.

About an hour after lunch, Levi sneaks down the hallway past the living room and to the alpha's door where he stops, listening to hear any sound from beyond it. He makes out a quiet tapping, like computer keyboards, and the occasional gulping noise when Erwin drinks his after-lunch coffee. Levi hesitates for a moment before knocking, wondering what the man is working on and whether it's really important. He doesn't wait for Erwin to call him in; the words are barely out of his mouth when Levi has already walked into the room.

“I was supposed to walk the dogs?” Levi says when he sees the man's confused expression, which melts at once into recognition.

“Right,” he replies, looking around his desk for something and picking up a wad of keys. “Just come with me and I'll show you what to do.”

Levi follows him through the office and into another hallway that leads to a separate entrance off the side of the house. They walk along a small footpath and Levi can already smell the dogs, can sense their excitement; they know someone's coming to walk them soon. He fastens his pace to keep up with Erwin who never once looks back to see if Levi's following, just keeps marching ahead with the keys dangling from his hand.

“Here we are then,” he says once they get to an enclosure, a huge fenced-up space with a dozen dog houses at the far end of it. He steps inside and whistles. Levi's heart speeds up when he hears the thumping of paws that follows it.

Levi counts eleven of them when they come running towards them, tails wagging and mouths hanging open, too excited about the new scent to even properly stop to greet Erwin before they run over to him. They sniff at his legs and hands, try to jump up to lick his face despite Erwin's commands. The barking that fills the air nearly drowns out the introductions the man is making.

“This is Biscuit,” he shouts, pointing at a husky that's twirling around his legs like a spinning top. “The collie is Buttons, the three labs are Athos, Porthos and Aramis. Hulk is the scared-looking German shepherd and the great dane is called Angel. Simone, Gloria and Betty are our grey hound mixes. And the Rhodesian ridgeback is called Sesame.”

Levi looks around at the dogs and tries to memorize the names as fast as possible. The grey hounds are nearly knocking him over when they jump against him and he laughs, petting them clumsily as they run from him to Erwin and back like they're having trouble deciding which one of them to go to.

“We have some leashes in the shed if you'd rather walk them like that,” Erwin tells him over the continuing whining and barking, “but I have to warn you, you'll spend more time untangling them from every tree and bush along the path than you will doing anything else.”

“I think I'll manage,” Levi says, laughing again when Angel jumps up against him and starts licking his face.

“Alright,” Erwin says, scratching Biscuit from behind her ears before pulling the key of the enclosure out of the chain and handing it to Levi. “Just follow the path past the enclosure and you'll get to the trail. And lock the gate once you're done. There's really no greater mystery to it.”

“Right,” Levi agrees, stepping outside the fence with Erwin and calling the dogs to himself; they catch his excitement and flock to him, barking and wagging their tails.

“Have fun,” Erwin wishes him, waving his hand before walking away.

“Come on,” Levi tells the dogs excitedly, speeding to a quick run that gets them all riled up.

He leads them into the forest, drawing deep breaths as soon as he's under the canopy of the trees. He can smell the lake already, the clear water tempting both him and his wolf deeper into the woods. The dogs bounce around between the tall pines, taking turns marking them, chasing each other through the brush. Levi lets them be, only whistling them back when they threaten to disappear from his sight. Every once in a while he speeds to a run, losing every race but feeling as exhilarated as the dogs when he stops to catch his breath. They've taken to him by the time they get to the lake, even Hulk, who kept a good five yards of distance between himself and Levi for the first half of the trail. When Levi sits down to rest by the lake, the big dog comes and lies down next to him, laying his head on his lap. Levi pets him softly in between throwing a stick around for the others to catch.

“You're too old for that shit, aren't you?” Levi asks Hulk, scratching his neck and laughing when the dog glances at him and exhales loudly.

Levi lets the dogs run around for a while, watching them splash around in the shallow waters. He uses the time by taking in the surroundings, smelling the air to catch the scents of the animals who come down to the lake to drink as well as those who have their nests by its banks, hidden in the tall grass and hollow, sun-dried reeds. There's so much life, so much prey here and still it's only one corner of the pack's lands. It's the perfect place for wolves and Levi can already see himself running down a deer with the rest of them – though he doubts the alpha will take him along for the next hunt. They probably have rules about shit like that, something about hunting being for grown-ups only. Goddamn hippies.

By the time he gets all the dogs back into their enclosure, he stinks of their wet hair and Edith sends him upstairs for a wash and a change. Levi does just that, finding the clothes he took downstairs in the morning folded on his bed, clean and warm from the drier. He pulls them on quickly and joins the dinner prep, relieved when Edith assigns him an easy job of chopping onions. He keeps glancing around the table at the others, at Marie and her husband and Mike and Nan who keep touching each other in a way Levi thinks is right at the border of inappropriate. He can't help drawing his head between his shoulders and shrinking in his seat, though he doesn't feel much attention coming towards him from any of them – just a whole lot of annoyance coming off Marie's husband. The pair of them smell strange anyway, like a whole lot of tension and sadness and frustration, and something else Levi can't quite figure out. The mess of feelings only grows messier when the alpha walks into the room, but Levi can sense it's like an old wound that's still healing rather than anything recent. He still wonders what it is, keeping his eyes on the three of them until Erwin turns to him.

“How were the dogs?”

“Good,” Levi replies, chopping the onion in front of him, determined to ignore the way the hairs on the back of his neck have stood up as soon as the man has gotten a word out.

“Good,” the alpha says as well, resting his hands on his hips for a few seconds and looking around the room. “And did you... Did you enjoy yourself?”

“Yeah, it was fun,” Levi mutters without looking up from his task. He can feel a spike of relief from the man.

“Good,” he says again, exhaling slowly. “You can walk the dogs tomorrow too, if you'd like.”

“Yeah,” Levi says. It takes him a couple of seconds to remember to add a quiet “thanks.”

“No problem,” the alpha says, clearing his throat. “No problem at all.”

“Right,” Levi mutters just as Edith swoops in and grabs the cutting board with its chopped-up onions.

“You did such a great job with these, thank you,” she tells Levi, giving him a quick one-armed hug that makes Levi frown and his heart skip a beat. “Erwin, could you give me a hand with the sauce, please?”

The man seems relieved to be given a reason to walk away and Levi grits his teeth when he feels it. Great fucking alpha. Can barely even get through a fucking conversation.

 

Levi makes it through the dinner without starting anything, keeping to his corner next to Edith who thanks him for saving her a seat, though he didn't mean to do that. Erwin sits down at the farthest end next to Nile and Marie, and Levi gets the sense they're trying to make sure he won't bark at her in particular anymore. Levi eats his pasta with good appetite. The run in the woods made him hungry and the sauce is fucking delicious, better than almost anything he's tasted before. Edith seems to pick up on how much he likes it, humming to herself when she sees him going in for seconds.

After dessert – berries and custard – Levi gets started on the room, carrying in the cleaning supplies Edith gave him. He cleans the floors, making sure to get the dust off the skirting boards and smiling when he catches the mild citrus scent of the universal cleaner. It makes the room feel better already, more his somehow, like he's claimed it with the effort he's put into it. Next, he starts hauling the furniture around, stopping only when he hears a soft knock against the open door.

“Need a hand?” Nan asks him, smiling when she sees him pulling the dresser behind himself toward the corner by the door. “That'll leave scratches on the floor.”

“Thanks,” Levi says, letting her grab the other end and lift the dresser into place; she's a lot stronger than Levi would've thought.

They finish moving the rest of the furniture in place and Nan pushes her hand into the pocket of her hoodie, like suddenly remembering something.

“I actually came by to bring you this,” she says, handing Levi a small yellow mock-leather case. “I had an extra one and I thought you might like it for your phone.”

“Thanks,” Levi says again, feeling uncomfortable for not having anything to give her in return. “Is it okay if I pay for it later? I'm a bit short on cash right now.”

She looks at him for a few seconds like he's just spoken a foreign language before she shakes her head. “No, it's...” she starts, still so confused it seems to Levi she can barely get the words out. “I'm not using it, it was just lying around. You don't need to pay for it. I'm giving it to you. For free. Because... You need it and I don't.”

“Oh,” Levi voices, frowning when he looks at the phone case, trying to wrap his head around the words. “Okay. Uhh... Thanks.”

“No problem, Levi,” she says and Levi can feel that strange feeling coming off her, like she wants to touch him too. Instead she just walks to the door, turning around before stepping out and saying, “And hey. The room looks great. Much better like this.”

“Thanks,” he says again, knowing he's said that word more times in that one day than he has during the past year.

After she leaves, Levi lies down on the bed and fits the case onto the phone, downloading a couple of free games on it to have something to do. It turns out to be more fun than he thought and he doesn't even notice how much time has passed until there's another knock on the door that makes him look up. The scent of the alpha feels like an invasion of privacy when it wafts into the room.

“I thought I'd run up and give you this,” he says, walking further in to hand Levi a charger for the phone.

“Thanks.” Levi plugs it in at once; he's only got thirteen per cent of battery left and he's only on level four.

“You've changed the layout,” the man comments after a while, looking around the room almost appraisingly.

“Yup,” Levi voices, turning straight back to his game though Erwin's still hovering in the room, looking like he doesn't really know what he's doing there. He stays quiet nearly long enough for Levi to ask him if he's having a stroke.

“Well I'm glad you're making yourself at home,” the alpha finally says, sounding like he's trying to keep his voice as emotionless as possible. “If that's what you're trying to do.”

Levi meets his eyes for a few seconds before lifting the phone between them, using it to shield himself from the mess of Erwin's feelings, the uncertainty and guilt that still overpower everything else.

“Thanks,” he mutters, keeping his eyes on the screen even when he hears the sound of the door closing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon!
> 
> my [tumblr](http://hedera-helixwriteseruri.tumblr.com)  
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

There's an eerie hush on the hallway where they wait, not broken even by the hum of the secretary's computer which is so soundless Levi begins to wonder if it's even on or whether he's just sitting in front of it pretending to work. The woman in the office is equally quiet. The silence makes Levi uncomfortable and he glances at Edith but she doesn't seem to notice. She's talking to Erwin further down the hall and Levi decides not to listen to them, turning his focus instead onto the courtyard he can see through a large window. There are no students walking around yet, the large cherry tree in the middle casts a shadow over the worn cobbled stones. The whole place stinks of money, and it does nothing to ease Levi's nerves. When the secretery speaks up and tells them they can enter the office, the sudden noise makes Levi's heart jump into his throat.

“Ah. Mr Smith, Mrs Smith,” Levi can hear the woman saying to Edith and Erwin when they walk in. “Please, have a seat.”

Levi follows hesitantly, staying by the door to get his first impression of the headmistress. She's a tough-looking lady with dark, straight hair and lipstick that's nearly purple. She smells expensive, like perfume and new clothes and when Levi walks forward to shake her hand briefly, he finds her grip unpleasantly tight and bony. He catches the little plaque on her desk that reads _Headmistress Reiss._

“And you must be Levi,” she says, smiling. “Please have a seat.”

He sits down next to Edith who pats him on his arm; Levi can feel his hearbeat slowing down with the touch, though not by much. The whole office screams rich people, from the old hardwood floor to the minimalist feel – there's nothing in the room but a glass-and-metal desk, a fancy computer and four chairs in total, all leather and fucking titanium, probably. The painting behind the desk is some kind of “art” – Levi doesn't know what it's supposed to be but it looks like something a four-year-old could draw in his sleep.

“So here's the situation,” headmistress Reiss says, sitting down in her own chair behind the desk. “As you know, I got your email but I still thought it best for us to meet in person. I hope you don't mind.”

“Not at all,” Erwin tells her so pleasantly Levi can feel the words on the back of his neck. “I'm just glad we can sort this out as quickly as possible.”

“Yes,” the woman agrees, sighing heavily, “though I don't know what I can do for you, if I'm being completely honest. Your request was... Well, I'm just not sure I can agree to it.”

“We understand the situation is difficult,” Erwin lets her know. “It's regrettable that we can't provide you with Levi's school records or a more detailed account of his academic career at this point but as I explained in the course of our correspondence, there's an unfortunate delay we've encountered with Levi's old school as far as his paperwork is concerned.”

“Right, you did explain that,” the woman says, “but I'm afraid that's not the only issue here. I told you, there are no openings left for this term. All the classes have been assigned and the schedules sent out. I'm sorry, but you're simply too late to sign up for the autumn term. I might still be able to get you a spot for the spring, however.”

“Is there really nothing you can do?” Edith asks her; the pleading note in her voice paired with the fact she's insisting in the first place makes Levi feel supremely uncomfortable. “Of course we would've gotten in touch sooner but this was all so last minute. All we want is for Levi to have the best possible education, and there's really no school we trust to provide that better than yours.”

Headmistress Reiss looks like she doesn't want to fall for that kind of obvious sucking up, but also like she can't help herself. She stares at the three of them for a second before sighing again and saying, “Look. You know I hate to say no, especially to you – after all the generous donations you've made over the years I almost feel like I can't say no to you – but I have very little wiggle room here. If I add another student who... If you don't mind my saying so is far below our usual standards for academic achievement, I'll have hell to pay with the teachers. None of them will have time to give Levi any extra attention in the classroom, and if he fails to keep up it'll reflect badly on our records – and you know how the school board is with their statistics.”

“I understand your concern,” Erwin says, again so tenderly it feels like he's running his fingers up and down Levi's neck, “and I share it to some extent myself. Which is why we are absolutely prepared to tutor Levi ourselves, or pay for private lessons if that's what it takes.”

“He is very smart,” Edith tells the headmistress and though Levi's too embarrassed to look at her, she can feel the headmistress giving him a glance that's anything but confident. “I'm absolutely convinced that it's just his home environment that's been holding him back academically. Once he'll be surrounded with the sort of support he can expect from us, and with the culture your school has of using positive reinforcement as a tool towards academic excellence, he'll be as accomplished as the rest of them. I'm sure of it.”

“I do find your confidence very reassuring,” headmistress Reiss admits. “After all, you said the same thing about Isabel and she is doing wonderfully here.”

“She really has flourished,” Edith agrees, radiating so much joy and pride it makes Levi shudder. “And Levi will too. He's ready to work hard to catch up to the others.”

“We would be happy to pay an additional fee on top of the usual tuition costs, anything you deem appropriate,” Erwin joins in. “You could distribute it to the teachers as an end of the year bonus – or use it to fill the gap in the budget for new computers. It was such a shame we fell short of our goal at the last fundraiser.”

“Yes, it really is a shame,” the woman agrees and Levi can sense her brain working, the hints of greed coming off her. Finally, she turns to her computer with a sigh. “I guess it wouldn't hurt to go over the lists one more time, see if we can sort something out.”

“Thank you so much, we really appreciate all the trouble you're going through,” Erwin tells her, his voice so sweet Levi nearly blushes.

She taps away for a while on the keyboard and the mouse, her eyes narrowing when she reads through something. “Well, all our AP classes are full and there my hands are completely tied. Were you wishing to take AP courses?” she asks Levi who glances at Edith.

“Uhh... I don't think so,” he says. “I'm not sure my school even had any.”

“That might make this a bit easier then,” the headmistress says, clicking a few more times on the mouse. “If you'll only be taking general classes, I might be able to find a place for you for the autumn term as well. What sort of extra curriculars are you interested in?”

“Uhh...” Levi starts again. “I don't know. You mean like... Sports and stuff?”

“Athletics is one option, if you're interested in that,” she says. “We have several teams that are looking for new members. There's football, soccer, lacrosse–”

“I'm not really a team person,” Levi tells her quietly.

“Well, there are other sports we offer that are more about the individual,” she tells him, her eyes still on the computer screen. “There's track and field, fencing, archery... But if you don't have anything in mind right now, we have a recruitment day at the beginning of September when you can try your hand at a bit of everything, see what you like. There are also plenty of opportunities outside the field of sports that I can recommend. Our debate team and chess club are very accomplished, as is our marching band.”

“Right,” Levi mutters. “I guess I'll just... See what I like.”

“Of course for someone like you I don't recommend a lot of after school activities if you're going to be extesively tutored at home after classes,” she goes on to say, her eyes widening when she spots something on the screen. “Well, it'll cost me a muffin basket, but I've found you a spot – just barely.”

“Oh, that's absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much!” Edith says, patting Levi's arm again. “Isn't that good news?”

“Yeah,” Levi mutters, glancing around the room and shuddering a little, but remembering his old school he says, “Yeah, it's great.”

“I am so glad we could find a way to make this work,” Erwin chimes in, all smiles and pleasantness when he stands up. “After all, there are few things in life more important than a quality education.”

“We can certainly agree on that,” headmistress Reiss says and stands up as well, shaking first Erwin's hand and then Levi's. “Welcome to Westbrook! I hope you'll enjoy your time here,” she tells him briskly.

“Thanks,” Levi replies, trying to smile but probably looking more constipated than happy.

“You can expect a letter within a couple of days,” the woman tells Edith and Erwin, “but it's mainly the usual stuff.”

“Sure,” Erwin says, picking his blazer up from the armrest of his chair and throwing it over his arm. “I'll see you at the next board meeting.”

And just like that, they're walking back to the eco car across the empty parking lot, Edith going on about how well the meeting went while Levi's mind is still reeling. He looks back at the main building of the campus with its dark stone exterior and arched windows. He can't imagine himself going to school there.

“You alright, sweetie?” Edith asks him when he's about to get into the car and Levi nods.

“Yeah, I'm great,” he lies, sitting down on the backseat and remembering to buckle up only when Edith tells him to.

“You excited about seeing your friend?” the woman asks him once Erwin has driven them out onto the main road. “He had a funny name... Farlan?”

“Yeah,” Levi tells her, pulling the phone out of his pocket and sending Farlan a quick message to let him know he'll be at the café soon.

“Good,” Edith says, beaming. “You know, the shop run will probably take us over an hour but if you feel like you need more time, we can drive on home and send someone to pick you up later.”

“An hour's fine,” he says, catching Erwin glancing at him through the rearview mirror.

“Well if you're sure,” she voices, rummaging in her handbag and pulling out a large sheet of paper filled top to bottom with writing. “Now I really wish we'd asked Mike to bring the pick-up over to the store. There's so much we need for the barbecue.”

The word makes Levi's insides twists a little with nerves. The pack barbecue. Edith's been planning it all week, writing down recipes and calling people to confirm they're coming. From what Levi has gathered, it's going to be upwards of sixty people, all members of the pack though most of them don't live in the main house, and some of them don't even live on pack lands. Levi's already dreading the idea of meeting all of them and of doing fun outdoor activities with a bunch of strangers. Most of all he worries about them trying to bond with him, of someone trying to rub up against him like these hippie weirdos do. He'd really hate to have to punch someone and ruin a barbecue that Edith's worked so hard for.

“We'll manage,” Erwin tells his mother soothingly, glancing at Levi again and making his skin tingle. “Do you need anything from the store?”

“No,” Levi states at once, wondering if they're going to serve any meat at their barbecue but not wanting to ask for any.

“Suit yourself,” Erwin mutters, saying nothing else until he's stopped the car by the café. He turns back in his seat and pulls out his wallet, handing Levi a fifty dollar bill.

“I don't need your money,” Levi tells him, cringing when he realises how far from truth the statement is.

Erwin sighs. “You can't just go in and sit down without ordering,” he explains. “Use it to buy something for your friend if you don't want anything.”

Levi looks at the bill the man is offering, narrowing his eyes and snorting when he finally snatches it out of his hand and pushes it straight into the pocket of his hoodie without so much as looking at it. He mutters a quick “thanks” that Erwin answers with a nod.

“We'll call you when we're leaving the store,” Edith calls after Levi when he gets out of the car. “Have fun!”

Levi waves his hand at her lazily before he walks into the café and buys himself a sandwich. He's barely bitten into it by the time Farlan gets there and spots him across the room, walking over to the table. He looks more tanned than he did the last time Levi saw him, and there's a score of freckles on his face that weren't there before. He sits down opposite of Levi and sighs.

“You need a haircut,” he says, crinkling his nose when Levi scoffs. “I'm serious. You're starting to look like Kenny.”

“Thanks for that,” Levi tells him, screwing up his face and running his hand through his hair – it is getting way too long. “What do you want? I'm buying.”

Farlan gets a cappuccino and a croissant which he eats by pulling it apart layer by layer, scattering crumbs all over the table. While he eats, Levi does his best to explain his situation in a way that doesn't involve words like “pack” or “bite” or “he's my alpha now I guess”. He's not surprised when at the end of it Farlan declares the whole thing seems more than a little shady.

“I mean,” he says, stuffing the last of the pastry into his mouth. “These people know nothing about you, they've never met you before and now all of a sudden they just want to pay for your things and give you a home – and pay for your school?”

Levi cringes. It sounds fucking awful to hear it like that. “Yeah, I guess so.”

Farlan shakes his head. “I mean, I've seen The Blind Side, I know there are some genuinely good people out there but like... What are the chances of that? I mean... Can you say you're a hundred per cent sure that they're not running, like, an international human trafficking ring?”

Levi sighs. “A hundred per cent sure?” he asks and shakes his head. “But you know, the thing is... You know how back at Kenny's there was always some shady shit going on? Well, that means I know shady shit when I see it. These people don't have it in them. They're into like... eco friendliness and plant based diets and solar panels and shit. They wouldn't have the guts to break the law. They don't even let me drink coffee for fuck's sake.”

Farlan snorts into his cappuccino. “Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Levi tells him, laughing a little. “They're fucking weird and way too uptight about some stuff, but they're not human traffickers.”

“Right,” Farlan says. “So what are they?”

Levi shrugs. “I don't know,” he says. “Decent people? I don't think I'm the only troubled kid they've taken in.”

“So they're like a legitimate foster family?” Farlan asks, frowning when Levi shrugs. “How can you not know this stuff?”

“I don't know,” Levi huffs. “I've been kind of busy thinking about other stuff. Like how my whole life is suddenly all upside down and shit.”

Farlan sighs dramatically and empties his cup. “You should really find out about this stuff,” he says. “I mean, you're technically still underaged. I bet there's all kinds of legal stuff about this whole thing that can make things really messy.”

“I'll be eighteen in a couple of months,” Levi reminds the boy. “After that I can do whatever I want. I'll probably find my own place somewhere. Maybe even move to another city or something.”

“Right,” Farlan mutters. “Well, I hope that'll work out.”

They stay at the café another forty-five minutes, talking about Farlan's vacation and his insufferable relatives. He says he managed to sneak off one night without his parents noticing and went to a beach party where he made out with some guy whose name might have been Chad. Levi doesn't tell him that Chad is the most dumbass name he's ever heard – except for maybe Flagon.

“The next day I was so hung over,” Farlan whispers, “and my parents dragged me to this all-you-can-eat seafood buffet. I honestly thought I would die, I can't believe they didn't notice that I threw up in the bathroom.”

“You're fucking lucky they didn't,” Levi tells him, wondering what Erwin would do if he caught him drinking. Probably throw him in a solar-powered dungeon or some shit.

When Edith and Erwin drive over to the café, Levi catches Farlan trying to peer inside the car. Edith waves her hand at him, smiling widely. Farlan responds to the gesture a bit hesitantly, remaining by the door of the café even after Levi has gotten into the car next to the half a dozen shopping bags already piled onto the backseat.

“Did you have fun?” Edith asks him, beaming when he nods. “Good! And we found everything we need. Didn't we Erwin?”

“Yes,” Erwin says, peering through the rear window. “Seat belt,” he tells Levi in passing before backing out of the parking lot.

Levi gives Farlan one last nod before they drive away and back to the house where he helps them carry all of the shopping into the kitchen. Erwin lurks back into his office as soon as it's done, but Edith starts to empty the bags into the fridges and the pantry right away and Levi gives her a hand, looking at the things they've bought. The food at least seems something to be excited about rather than nervous – he finds a paperbag that's been filled with nothing but burger buns.

“Let's see then,” Edith says when they finally sit down for a cup of tea. She pulls another few sheets of folded-up paper out of her pocket and starts peering at them, putting on her reading glasses and letting out a heavy sigh. “So many things I still need to do today.”

“Why don't you ask someone else to do some of them?” Levi demands. “I thought there's like fifty people coming tomorrow. It doesn't seem fair that you have to do everything.”

“You're so sweet,” Edith tells him, pressing her hand against his cheek for a second. “And you're also right. I should let people know when I need help. It would just be so much nicer if people came and offered to help without me having to ask.”

“I'll help you,” Levi promises at once, walking around the table to look at her list. “What do we need to do?”

Edith laughs. “Let's just have our tea first, alright?” she asks. “And afterwards you can go fetch Erwin. He might as well come out of his cave and give us a hand too.”

They spend the rest of the evening prepping food for the next day, stopping only to have dinner which Mike and Nan pick up from a restaurant in town. They marinade near ten pounds of tofu, peel and dice sweet potato, make five different kinds of sauces, shuck over half a hundred cobs of corn – Levi tries not to look at Erwin when he's doing it – and fill several buckets with different kinds of dried beans, leaving them to soak in cold water overnight. All the work keeps Levi so busy he doesn't have time to think about how nervous he is until he falls into his bed that night – and the images of Erwin's large hands gently squeezing a cob of corn do nothing to help him relax either.

 

The house starts to fill with people right after breakfast. They fill the dining room and take up all the space on the couches in the living room too – old people, kids, couples. Levi watches them all exchanging news and getting reacquainted, lurking back to Edith in the kitchen as soon as he can sense someone noticing him. There's too much noise and movement everywhere and the old woman doesn't need his help anymore with everyone else around, so Levi escapes quickly onto the yard where Mike starts firing up the grill just before midday. Levi snorts at the apron he's wearing that reads “Hot stuff coming through” in big letters across the chest.

“Just you wait,” he tells Levi. “Stick around long enough and mom's going to get you one too.”

“She'd have to wrestle me to make me wear it.”

“You say that like you think she wouldn't,” Mike mutters, placing his hand over the grill to see if it's heating up.

There's a loud banging sound coming from the front yard and Levi walks over, his curiosity driving him. The source of the sound turns out to be Hange and Moblit's old van that now stands in front of the house, a few whisps of steam or smoke rising from under the hood.

“See, I told you we'd get this far on it,” Hange tells Moblit briskly. “It'll have cooled down enough by the time we'll need to drive back.”

Levi hears Moblit letting out a heavy sigh, but the man says nothing when he follows Hange up the stairs to the house. They spot Levi when they're at the door and Hange raises their hand, greeting him from across the porch.

“Hello!” they shout excitedly and Levi drags himself up the steps too. “You all better from the shot then?”

“Yeah,” Levi tells them, shrugging. “All good.”

“Great!” Hange tells him. “I'd actually never given the shot to someone as old as you before and after I read up on the little research available on the subject, I found out there have been some complications on a couple of similar cases. But I'm glad you're doing alright.”

“Uhh...” Levi starts, glancing at Moblit who shrugs almost apologetically. “Thanks?”

“No problem,” Hange says, peering in through the window to the kitchen. “Do you know where Erwin is? I've got something I want to ask him.”

“Haven't seen him,” Levi answers, already taking a few steps back. “Anyway. Enjoy the barbecue or whatever.”

“Sure thing,” Moblit tells him, following Hange in through the door.

After that Levi wanders about, drifting away from the noise and visiting the dogs, preferring their company to the mass of people. Biscuit keeps jumping up against him trying to lick his face, making him laugh with her enthusiasm. Levi races the dogs around the enclosure a couple of times – all except Hulk who lies by his little dog house, watching them but not participating. When Levi gets ready to leave, Biscuit bites down on the leg of his sweat pants and tries to pull him back in from the gate.

“It's 'cause you smell like Erwin,” a voice tells him from beyond the fence.

Levi turns to look, frowning at the skinny girl peering at him through the metal fencing, her face all freckled and her red hair pushing every which way. She's wearing a pair of shorts and her shirt has the word “brave” on it.

“Why do you say that?” Levi asks her, frowning when she sniggers at the way he's trying to get Biscuit's fangs off his trousers.

“'Cause Erwin's her favourite,” she tells him matter-of-factly. “It's 'cause he let her sleep in his bed when she was a puppy. Now she can't let go.”

“Right,” Levi says, finally detaching Biscuit from his leg and giving her a final scratch behind the ear before stepping out of the gate. The girl follows on his heels when he starts walking back towards the house.

“I know who you are,” she tells him, almost running to keep up with his pace. “You're Levi. You're the new one.”

“Uh-huh,” Levi says, catching the smell of barbecue sauce and feeling his stomach growling.

“You called Marie a bitch,” the girl says. “You shouldn't have. It's a nasty thing to call someone.”

“Yeah well...” Levi starts, not knowing how to finish so he just shakes his head. “Whatever. It's none of your business anyway.”

“Over here everything's everyone's business,” she says, skipping ahead of Levi and turning around to face him. “Or not everyone's. But everything's Erwin's business. And everything's my business.”

“Right,” Levi says, frowning. “Why's that?”

She shrugs. “I just know things,” she tells him, grinning widely. “I know a lot of stuff that people don't know I know.”

“Like what?”

“Like...” she starts, “I know that Erwin and Marie used to date and everyone's still all weird about it.”

The words stop Levi dead in his tracks. “Marie and Erwin?” he repeats and the girl nods emphatically.

“He was like, so in love with her. But then she met Nile and they got together and now Erwin's all alone.”

“When was this?” Levi asks her and she shrugs.

“I don't know,” she admits. “Years ago. Before I came here.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, trying to picture it. Erwin and Marie. He imagines them doing it on the desk in Erwin's office and shudders. What the fuck? “How do you know that?”

“I heard them talking about it,” she says, walking backward when Levi starts pacing toward the house again. “No one ever notices me, so I hear all kinds of stuff. I've heard him talking about you.”

“Erwin?” Levi confirms, feeling his stomach lurch when the girl nods.

“He had a whole big meeting about it with the other grown-ups,” she explains. “He was telling them how he bit you and how you couldn't come and live here because you're seventeen and you didn't want to and your uncle said you can't. I also heard him say something else, but he only said it to Mike.”

“What else did he say?” Levi asks but the girl grins.

“Maybe nothing,” she says, spinning her arms around like she's warming up for a marathon. “Or maybe something. It depends.”

“On what?” Levi demands and she shrugs.

“If you've got twenty bucks.”

Levi stops to stare at her in silence for a few seconds before he snorts. “Forget it,” he mutters, continuing to walk back toward the house.

“Fine,” she states, turning around to walk next to him again. “I guess you'll never know then.”

Levi glares at her, feeling the bristling annoyance when he grits his teeth. He thinks of the thirty odd bucks he's still got in his pocket and bites down harder.

“I mean,” the girl continues, sighing heavily, “I really shouldn’t tell you anyway. I think it was meant to be kind of a secret. And I can see why. It was kind of... juicy.”

Levi glances at the girl, determined not to play along with this kind of fucking extortion. She probably doesn't even know anything. She's bluffing, trying to fool Levi out of twenty dollars. But her words won't let him be and after a couple more yards he starts thinking about the money, about how he's got nothing he wants to spend it on anyway. Finally he stops and turns to her, shoving the bill into her hand right before they're within sight of the back porch.

“So what did he say?” Levi asks her and she hesitates for a moment.

“He said he thought you smelled compatible,” she says, lifting the bill up against the sky, like checking if it's real.

“That's it?” Levi asks, bristling again when he realises he's been swindled. “What the fuck does that even mean?”

The girl shrugs. “It's like...” she starts, puckering her lips when she stops to think. “It's like Mike and Nan, or Nile and Marie. Some wolves are just more... You know, compatible. And then they bite each other's necks and mate for life and live happily ever after or something, I don't know.”

“And he thought I smelled...” Levi starts, falling quiet and frowning when the girl starts walking forward again.

“That's what he said,” she calls out, grinning. “Thanks for the twenty!”

Levi looks after her, too stunned to speak, too stunned to even move until he can hear Edith calling for him from the back door. He starts walking toward the sound, his mind still fighting for a hold on that thought. Compatible. Erwin thought they were compatible. Him and Levi. Levi and him. Meant to be. Match made in heaven. Him and Levi.

Suddenly he remembers that moment in Erwin's office how he said that thing about having thought something and been wrong about it and how he seemed like a balloon that was popped then, like his expectations were so high and the reality of the situation didn't meet them at all. Levi wonders if this is what it was really about, whether Erwin had thought they'd be all soulmates and shit and this is what he got instead. He can see how everything would make more sense then, why Erwin's so weird around him. Back at the trailer park that shit never happened, or if it did, people kept good and quiet about it.

“There you are,” Edith tells him, guiding him toward the line forming in front of the long tables that have been brought out onto the lawn. “We're starting already so just go line up. You can follow Isabel.”

The girl grins at Levi when he walks up to her.

“I wonder what I should do with my twenty bucks,” she says, letting out a dreamy sigh. “I guess I could go to the movies. Or I could go to the mall. Or I could–”

“Stop bragging,” Levi tells her in a hushed tone as Erwin starts walking towards him. “You got your money. Now shut up about it.”

“Ooh,” she voices, glancing behind Levi as well. “You don't want Erwin to know you were asking about him.”

“That's right, I don't,” Levi snaps at her. “So you'd better keep your mouth–”

“Ten bucks,” she tells him, lifting up a hand when she sees Levi's about to protest, “or I'll call him over right now.”

“I don’t have any more money,” Levi fibs, but the look on Isabel’s face tells him she’s not buying it.

“Please,” she says. “I told you, I know everything. Almost. And I know Erwin gave you a fifty earlier.”

Levi hesitates for a few seconds before glancing behind himself again and pushing his hand into his pocket with a loud groan. “Fucking thief,” he snaps at the girl when he hands her the ten dollar bill. “You better keep your mouth shut now.”

“Not a word,” she promises, shoving the money hastily into her pocket before greeting Erwin who takes his place in the line behind Levi.

“Hey, Isabel,” he says and Levi can feel his stomach lurching at the sound of his voice. “I heard they've got your favourite – teriyaki tofu.”

“I know, I've been waiting all day,” she gasps. “I bet Mike's gotten it so good and crispy on the outside.”

“Let's hope so,” Erwin says, turning to Levi. “You should try some. It's really tasty.”

“Yeah okay,” Levi mutters, staring at his shoes as the line snakes forward. He can't stop thinking about it, what Erwin thought when he caught his scent on the border. He wonders if he smells like that to the man even now, if he's dying to reach out and touch him or drop onto one knee to propose or some shit.

They get to the food and start piling it onto their plates. There's so much of it Levi can barely make up his mind as to what he should get. There are hot dogs and burgers with four different patty options, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, relish, fried onions, ketchup, mustard, mayonnaise, coleslaw, three other kinds of salads, four different flavours of marinated tofu, mushrooms, corn on the cob, grilled pineapple, grilled zuchini, avocado, houmous, barbecue sauce, salsa, bean dip, and a whole bunch of other stuff Levi can barely name. He keeps a sly eye on what Erwin takes onto his plate, trying a little of everything himself so he'll know what he'll want when he'll come back for seconds. It seems the kind of shindig where you keep eating until bedtime.

Turns out Erwin was right, the teriyaki tofu is one of the best things on Levi's plate. He eats two burgers and a crazy amount of side dishes, feeling so full afterwards that when Edith comes over to ask him if he wants dessert, Levi just shakes his head. He keeps sitting on the back porch, following Erwin with his eyes when the man goes around the yard, greeting all the people who have gathered there. With some of them he stops to have longer conversations but others he just pats on the back before moving on. Levi can't help but think again how exhausting it must be to be the alpha, especially with how much effort Erwin seems to put into the whole thing.

“You alright, sweetie?” Edith comes and asks him after a while, sitting down next to him on the porch steps. “You got enough to eat?”

“Yeah,” Levi tells her, running his hands quickly through his hair when he turns his eyes away from Erwin.

“Good,” she says, sighing tiredly but smiling. “Some of the people here have been asking about you.”

“What for?”

“Well I think it's just natural they would be curious about a new addition to the pack,” she tells him, laughing a little when he snorts. “Come on now. Aren't you curious about the others?”

Levi shrugs, his eyes drifting back to Erwin but he says nothing. After a few seconds of silence Edith sighs again, shifting a little closer to Levi when Nan walks past her, pulling Mike behind her by his hand. Levi catches a quick glimpse of the football she's carrying.

“Erwin!” she shouts, catching the man's attention at once. “Time to play.”

“Sure,” Erwin replies, looking past Nan at Mike. “You up for it?”

“Doesn't look like I have much of a choice,” the big man says, laughing when Nan punches him on the arm. “Are Flagon and Nile playing? We'll need someone else as well.”

“Hey Levi!” Nan shouts at him, shielding her eyes from the sun. “You wanna play?”

Levi stops for a moment to look at Erwin, finally pushing to his feet and saying, “Sure. But I'm on Mike's team.”

“Dream team,” Nan says, giving Levi a quick high five when he walks to them and turning then to Erwin. “So it's me, Mike and Levi against you, Flagon and Nile.”

“Sounds good enough to me,” Erwin agrees, looking around himself. “Just need to find the rest of my team.”

They send Isabel out to find Flagon and Nile who walk to the back yard, dragging their feet and looking like they're a lot less excited about the game than the rest of them. They still agree to play, joining Erwin in a huddle while Levi does the same with Mike and Nan.

“You're fast,” Mike says to Levi who nods. “We need to get the ball to you so you can run it across the field.”

“You better make sure none of them tackle me,” Levi tells him and Nan who laughs.

“You better make sure none of them catch you,” she responds, straightening her back and looking over at Erwin and the others. “God, he's doing his air charts again.”

Levi looks over to the three men too, scoffing when he sees Erwin drawing something onto thin air with his fingers. He can't tell if the other two really understand what he's trying to say, but they nod along anyway, breaking the huddle after a minute, rolling up their sleeves.

Though Levi didn't have big expectations to start with, it turns out Nan's jokes about them being a dream team are more true than he would've thought. The way she works with Mike is incredible to watch, like they share a brain, always knowing exactly where the other one will be. They get the ball to Levi often enough and the only one who can begin to match his speed is Erwin, but even he doesn't catch him – Levi guesses it's partly because he doesn't want to. When Levi's scored the final touchdown and the alpha's team gives up, the man walks over to him and pats him quickly on the back. The touch makes shivers run down Levi's spine, starting from the scar on his neck and shooting all the way down between his legs.

“That was a good game,” Erwin tells him, trying to catch his breath. “I can't believe I ever caught you.”

Levi doesn't know what to say so he stays quiet, wordlessly handing Erwin the ball and running over to the back porch and into the house. The kitchen and dining room are still full of people so Levi skips up the stairs and into his room where he closes the door behind himself and draws a deep breath. He wishes he could undress, crawl into bed and jerk off, but he doesn't want to risk it in a house full of people. Instead he bellyflops onto the covers and pulls out his phone, playing his games and texting Farlan until the house falls quiet and he starts craving the dessert he didn't have before. He finds Edith in the kitchen drinking a cup of tea, going over yet another list with the reading glasses on her nose.

“Hello, little one,” she says, drawing Levi a chair when he walks over to the island with his bowl of fresh berries and cream. “You disappeared for a while there.”

Levi grunts. “I don't know,” he mutters. “It was just all a bit much, you know?”

She hums an agreement and brushes her hand against his cheek. “You've had a wild couple of days,” she says and Levi nods absently. “Are you nervous about school?”

Levi stops his chewing for a few seconds and shrugs, wondering why he still doesn't feel like he can just tell her the truth. She seems to understand anyway and nods, radiating a kind of sympathy Levi can feel all the way down to his bones.

“It's completely understandable that you would be,” she tells Levi gently. “You're still adjusting, and this is a big change. But you know we'll be here to help you through it.”

“Right,” Levi says, pushing the berries around the bowl and watching the juices pool on the bottom where the cream mixes into them, drawing white streams through the dark red.

“Do you miss it?” Edith asks after a moment of silence. “You know none of us will be upset or blame you if you do.”

Levi thinks of the question and frowns, trying to find that feeling of longing to go back to the trailer park. He tries thinking of the best parts of it, the smell and feel of the pelts and furs on a cold winter morning, watching the sunset from the porch after a hunt, the few glimpses he can remember of playing with his mother in the garden. He does miss those things, how the house made him remember, but it's not enough to weigh out all the bad – not by a long shot.

“I don't think I miss it,” he finally tells Edith, “but I don't know. In some way that feels even worse. Or it doesn't but... I don't know.”

She nods like she knows what he means even though his words were all messed up. “That's okay too,” she says. “Whatever you feel is okay.”

Levi turns back to his berries, spooning them into his mouth and thinking about the day, about Erwin patting him on the back, about the thing Isabel told him. He reminds himself of the chase, how Erwin finally caught him, probably thinking it would be the start of something exciting and wonderful. It feels suddenly like the whole situation's been worse for him than Levi, since he's the one who's had to face a bigger disappointment. After all, Levi can't say anything in Erwin's pack is as bad as things were in Kenny's – except for maybe the rejection he got from the man, but even that makes more sense now.

“I know I said we'll talk about it on your terms,” Edith whispers, laying her hand on Levi's, “but do you think you'd want to tell me what happened on the night you came here? Not the whole story if you don't want to. We've just been wondering about–”

“I don't know,” Levi interrupts her, feeling a dread building inside him when she speaks. “It was pretty fucked up. Kenny went a bit... He was really drunk and he was saying all this crazy shit that freaked me out. So I took off.”

She nods along, hesitating for a few seconds before asking, “What about the scar on your hand?”

Levi looks down at his palm though he knows he'll see nothing there. “Yeah,” he mutters. “I mean, Kenny was really drunk. I've never seen him like that. I guess he was upset about the whole bite thing so... He said he was gonna burn it off me.”

“Burn it off?” Edith asks, her voice growing sharper. “Burn it off with what?”

“Like a welding torch or something,” Levi says and shrugs. “He's never been like that and that's probably why I freaked out so much.”

“Right,” the woman says, trying to keep her voice calm but Levi can feel the anger coming off her until she forces it aside. “I know you haven't really gotten to trust Erwin yet, and if you don't want him to know all this I won't tell him,” she promises Levi at once. “It'll just be between you and me. But I think it would be useful for him to–”

“You can tell him,” Levi says, doing his best to push his resentment aside. “You're probably right. It'll be good if he knows.”

“Sure,” Edith says, smiling tenderly. “I'll let him know. And thank you, Levi. For telling me.”

Levi shrugs, patting her hand clumsily before she pulls it off his arm.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon!
> 
> my [tumblr](http://hedera-helixwriteseruri.tumblr.com)  
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

Levi stares at his reflection on the tall mirror in his bedroom, running his hand up the newly buzzed undercut at the back of his head, feeling suddenly vulnerable and exposed when he touches the edges of the scar. He straightens the dark green tie around his neck and slides a finger underneath the collar that presses against his Adam's apple more tightly than he would like. He wouldn't need to look at himself to know he looks like a complete dickhead, like a rich asshole waiting for his trust fund or whatever the fuck. Levi tries to stretch his arms around the dark blue blazer – the damn thing feels like a straitjacket. He picks up his backpack and walks out the door, knowing he reeks of nervousness and the anger it brings forward. Just as he suspected, Edith notices it in less than two seconds.

“It's okay to be a little nervous,” she tells Levi as soon as he's managed to sit down for his breakfast. “It's a whole new environment, lots of people and excitement. But I'm sure you'll do just fine.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, piling oatmeal onto his plate and trying hard not to scowl at her. “I'm not worried.”

“Of course not,” she tells him, smiling when she pours him a cup of tea. “You've got everything you need? Your pencils and lunch money and phone and everything?”

Levi nods, moving the porridge around his bowl unenthusiastically and trying not to think about how in less than two hours he's going to have to co-exist with a bunch of snobby brats who probably all got their first sports cars at the tender age of sixteen. When Edith walks over to the fridge for some more fresh fruit and berries, Levi sinks even further into his gloomy thoughts. His head whips up only when a sudden piercing scent catches his attention, though he'd know without looking that Erwin has walked into the room. The man has stopped at the door and is staring at Levi, smelling like so much discomfort that Levi feels his own nervousness paling in comparison. He can tell when Erwin decides to snap out of it, but he can still hear the hesitation in his voice when he wishes him good morning. His own reply is a low and sullen grunt.

“That haircut really does suit you,” Edith tells Levi when she walks back to the table. “Doesn't it, Erwin?”

Her words seem to bring the man back from some secret thought and it takes him a moment to nod absently.

“Yes,” he mutters, pouring his coffee into the usual keep warm cup. “It's very nice.”

Levi snorts quietly without thanking either one of them though he is grateful for the haircut, just like he's grateful for everything else the pack has paid for so far. The trip itself was awkward as hell – sitting there quietly while some strange lady ran her hands all over his scalp and tried to make conversation. At the end of it Levi almost missed the way Kenny used to pop a bowl on his head and cut along the edges with a cigarette dangling from his mouth.

Isabel walks into the kitchen then, yawning a little and smelling like a weird mix of stuff: enthusiasm and the open air, traces of baby powder and juice or something. She comes to the table and sits down for breakfast, answering Edith's questions nearly breathlessly for how excited she is. Levi keeps eating his oatmeal reluctantly, glaring at the girl whenever he feels she's getting too loud. She's talking about all the friends she's going to see again and it makes Levi think of Farlan and the way they used to ride to school together – it feels like a million years ago. He can't help feeling another wave of guilt for switching schools when he thinks of Farlan getting pushed around by the fucking apes roaming the hallways. He should've stayed where he was. It's not as if he'll ever fit in with the rich douchebag crowd anyway. Suddenly a year feels like the longest time anyone's ever had to endure anything for.

“Ready to go?” Edith asks them all too soon for Levi's liking, but he nods and takes his dishes to the dishwasher, dragging his feet when he slouches out to the hybrid.

The drive over to the school feels miles shorter than the first time, and as soon as he sees the masses of students, all dressed in the same fancy uniforms, Levi feels his stomach dropping down to his lap. He cringes when Isabel gives Edith a quick kiss on the cheek before getting out of the car.

“I'l pick you up after school,” she tells Levi soothingly. “You'll be alright?”

“Yeah,” he mutters, clutching his backpack when he steps out onto the sidewalk and starts making his way through the throng toward the large double doors looming ahead beyond a set of stone steps.

It's all a mess, the scents, the sights, the sounds. A whirlwind of emotions: excitement, nervousness, fear. There's little for Levi to hold on to in the middle of it all, even if it shouldn’t feel that different from his old school. He keeps his eyes on the ground and from what he sees at the edge of his vision, everyone looks the same, just a blur of navy blue jackets and trousers or skirts. He catches pieces of too many conversations, hears too many names shouted out, tries to focus by repeating the classroom number in his mind over and over, finding it easily enough after a quick glance at the map that came with the rest of the papers sent to the house. No one tries to talk to him while they wait for the teacher and Levi's grateful for it. He can hear a few people whispering, a couple of questions being asked behind his back being answered. “Who's that?” “I don't know.” “He must be new.”

“Alright then class!” the teacher says once she arrives; a middle aged woman in a dark grey pantsuit with short hair who smells like plums. A student follows her with a cart full of books, which she starts distributing to the rest of them while the woman hands out sheets of paper. “As you can see from your reading lists, we've got a lot of ground to cover this semester. We'll be starting with the British modernists – mainly West, Woolf and Joyce – and finishing with the Americans, Hemingway and Faulkner, with a number of poets included throughout. I hope you'll all have finished reading _The Return of the Soldier_ by next week's lesson for open discussion.”

Levi flips through the book once it lands onto his desk but turns quickly to the reading list. He counts the nine items on the page and eyes through the teacher's instructions for keeping a reading journal. There's already a list of essay titles on the other side of the paper. Levi looks at the questions and frowns. He wouldn't know how to start answering any of them.

“We'll start with a quick overview of the modernist movement in literature,” the teacher goes on, sitting behind her desk and pointing a remote at an overhead projector. “This is important stuff, so you'll all want to take notes.”

Her words are followed by a lot of rustling as everyone who still hasn't got their notepad on their desk pulls it out – Levi does it too, though he can't remember ever having taken notes during lessons. He catches the teacher's gaze and flinches when she smiles at him.

“And before I forget,” she says, “welcome back. I hope you all enjoyed your summer.”

The rest of the lesson goes by in a haze and by the end of it the only thing Levi knows about modernism is that it happened a long time ago and that he doesn't understand why anyone would still be talking about it a hundred years later. He jumps to his feet as soon as the bell rings, dodging a couple of people who look like they're about to walk over by attempting a mad dash to the door, but the teacher calling out his name stops him at the threshold.

“I just wanted to have a quick word,” she says, nodding a goodbye at the last student to leave the classroom when he closes the door behind himself. “Your case came up in the start of the year staff meeting and I wanted to make sure you've got everything under control as far as my class is concerned.”

“Uhh...” Levi starts, stopping to glance behind himself at the door and wishing he was on the other side of it. “Yeah, I mean... I'm gonna get tutored back at the– At home, so...Yeah.”

The woman doesn't look at all convinced. “You know,” she sighs, picking up the remote and turning off the projector before facing Levi again, saying “just because this isn't an AP class I don't want you to think this is an easy class. You will have to work hard to get a passing grade, and I just wanted to make sure you understand that.”

“Yeah,” Levi tells her, already taking a half a step back. “Yeah, I get that. I'll... Make sure I get help with stuff. And I'll do all the reading.”

“Yes, that _is_ the minimum requirement,” the woman says, scowling a little before her expression softens. “As I understand it, you're going through something right now, and I don't want you to think I'm unaware of that. But at the same time I can't give you any special treatment since it wouldn't be fair to the others. I hope you understand that.”

“Yeah,” Levi says again, though he's fighting every instinct to run out of the classroom and out of the school, all the way back to the trailer park where he belongs. “Yeah, no, I do get that. I'll make sure I pass the class, don't worry.”

“Good,” she announces briskly, getting to her feet and starting to pack up her things. “I hope you enjoy Rebecca West.”

“Right,” Levi says, busily walking away now. “Sure. I'll... do that.”

“Until next week then,” the teacher wishes him right before he finally gets out the door; he doesn't even stop to wave his hand.

The rest of his lessons are an equal torment, though at least none of the other teachers start harrassing him after class about how he, a fucking idiot trailer park piece of trash, is going to pass their end-of-term exams. The other students leave him alone, though Levi can hear them whispering about him among themselves – one asshole declares him some kind of upstart, since Levi's name apparently doesn't ring a bell, and he knows everyone worth knowing. Rich douchebags – but it's nothing Levi wasn't expecting. The only real surprise comes at lunch when Levi notices a group of four people all sitting together at a table – the only non-human students at the high school as far as he knows. Three guys and a girl, all more than a year younger than him. He doesn't join them even though he knows they've picked up his scent. He can feel their eyes on his back when he sits by himself and eats his lunch, his mood getting worse by the minute. By the time he climbs onto the backseat of the hybrid, Levi feels like he's never regretted the decision to cross that fucking border as much as he does now.

“How was it?” Edith asks him, turning around in the driver's seat. “Did you absolutely hate it?”

Levi shrugs, staring out the window without really seeing the students still pouring out of building. He feels like he could sleep for a week. The thought of having to come back here the next day is the most fucking depressing thing he can think of.

“We'll go straight home once Isabel gets here,” Edith tells him calmly, sensing his mood. “You can have a good long rest. We can talk more about school after dinner. Okay?”

Levi shrugs again, yanking the tie from around his neck and sighing. He catches Edith reaching out to touch him out of the corner of his eye, but she pulls back her hand when she spots Isabel running to the car from the middle school building across campus.

“Hi Mama!” she exclaims, giving Edith another kiss on the cheek. “Hi Levi!”

Levi grunts at her without turning away from the window while Edith is busy beaming.

“Hello, sweetheart!” she tells Isabel happily. “You all ready to go?”

Isabel doesn't shut up about her day for the whole drive, talking Edith through all of her lessons and all her conversations with her friends and all the things the teachers told her. Edith listens so patiently Levi would think she's doing it on some kind of autopilot if she wasn't asking so many questions. It seems the best news of the day is that one of Isabel's friends has decided to join the soccer team.

“I can't wait for us to be team mates!” she tells Edith. “I already told her I can coach her after school so she'll catch up.”

“That's very kind of you,” Edith tells her, pressing her hand against her cheek or a few seconds; seeing it, Levi scoffs.

He slouches straight upstairs to his room once they get back to the house, dropping his backpack down by the door and falling face first onto the bed. Stupid piece of shit school. Stupid piece of shit snobs and their fucking books no one's ever going to need for shit, and least of all a stupid white trash piece of shit like him who'll probably end up working at the waste treatment plant because that's all he'll ever be good for.

His phone rings and he pulls it out of his pocket, turning onto his back when he answers.

“Hey,” Farlan says; Levi can tell he's walking somewhere outside from how out of breath he sounds. “Just thought I'd give you a call, ask you how school went.”

Levi lets out a low groan that seems to be all the answer Farlan needs.

“That bad, huh?” he asks and Levi sighs.

“Just kind of...” he starts, then sighs again. “I don't know. Just fucking intense I guess.”

“I guess it would be,” Farlan says, his voicing oozing so much sympathy that Levi can almost taste it on the roof of his mouth. “You know if you need any help I can–”

“Nah, it's okay,” Levi interrupts him, rolling onto his side and pulling his feet onto the bed. “Edith and Erwin are going to tutor me I guess, so...”

“Right,” Farlan mutters; Levi can hear him unlocking his car and getting in. “Well, if you ever need anything.”

“Sure,” Levi promises, though he knows he's done taking up Farlan's time with his shit. “So how was your day? Anyone bother you?”

“Umm...” Farlan hesitates for a moment. “No, not really. I mean, a couple of jerks cut ahead of me in line for lunch but that's about it.”

“Assholes,” Levi says. “Want me to go and kick their asses?”

“Nah, it's okay,” Farlan says, laughing a little. “Thanks for the offer though.”

“Anytime.”

“Hey, I was thinking,” the other boy voices, sounding suddenly hesitant, “do you think I could drive over there? Come and say hi, see where you live?”

“Uhh...” Levi looks around himself and cringes. “You know, I don't think tonight's the best time for that. I'll have to go over some school stuff with Edith and Erwin all night so...”

“Oh,” Farlan says, disappointed. “Oh, okay. Well... Maybe some other day then.”

“Sure,” Levi promises quickly. “I'll call you and we'll figure something out.”

“Okay.” Levi can hear the engine of the car in the background. “Well, I guess I'll just drive on home then so... Bye.”

“Bye.”

Levi throws the phone down on the bed and turns over to stare at the ceiling. He can hear the dinner prep has started downstairs and wonders whether he should go and help out, but his limbs seem to weigh a ton and a half each. He ends up playing on his phone until Edith comes to let him know that dinner's on the table. He changes quickly out of his uniform and joins the line in front of Erwin who doesn't seem as uncomfortable as he did in the morning. He greets Levi with a soft 'hey' which Levi answers with a grunt. It's as far as their conversation goes and Levi prefers it that way.

After dinner he slouches back upstairs to get his backpack and drags it to the kitchen where Erwin is sitting at the table with a cup of coffee while Edith is busy with the dishes. Levi sits down opposite Erwin and pulls out a wad of hastily folded papers from his backpack, dumping them onto the table top. Erwin picks them up at once and starts smoothing them open with his large hands. He frowns when he looks down at them.

“So how was it?” he asks without looking up at Levi. “Do you think you'll need a lot of tutoring?”

Levi pulls his hood onto his head and leans his elbows on the table, shrugging. Erwin's clearly not pleased with that.

“You know we have to know what you need help with,” he starts explaining it as if Levi's a fucking five year old. “None of us are here just to tutor you. We'll need to divide it up between ourselves so we can–”

“Don't bother,” Levi mutters bitterly. “I'll handle it myself.”

Erwin sighs, and his frustration is like acid on Levi's tongue.

“We were able to sign you up for that school on the condition that you'll improve your grades,” he says as if Levi wasn't there when they met with the headmistress. “None of us will have a problem tutoring you. We don't mind it, and it's nothing we're not used to. But we have to sort out what you need help with so that we can figure out who's going to help you with what.”

Levi stares at the sheets of papers on the table and rolls his resentment around in his head. Every part of him is resisting telling Erwin that there's not a fucking thing he doesn't need help with. He grits his teeth against the words, bristling when he senses Erwin has come to the right conclusion.

“Do you need help with all of it?”

Levi doesn't look up. Erwin's sudden pity and discomfort feel like someone's punching him in the chest. He catches the man smoothing out the papers again, like he's not sure what to say next.

“Well alright then,” the man finally says, clearing his throat when Edith walks over to the table with a pot of tea and two cups. “You shouldn't worry about it. We'll find someone to help you with everything.”

“I can take main responsibility,” Edith says, pouring Levi a cup of tea and smiling in a way he assumes is meant to be encouraging. She starts peering down at the papers and huffs. “See, most of this is stuff I was really good at back in the day.”

Levi watches as she flips through more of the papers and he feels like a complete idiot. It must've been a couple of decades since Edith finished high school and still she seems to have a better chance of passing everything than he does. His embarrassment feels like a live snake thrashing about in his gut – and Erwin's presence does nothing to help it.

“See, if you just take care of economics and government, I can handle maths and science and sociology – and history, at least until Ansel gets back.”

“What about English?” Erwin asks, looking at the reading list. “I suppose we could ask Marie. She studied the modernists in college, didn't she?”

“I don't want to bother her with any of this,” Levi hurries to say; the woman hates him enough as it is.

“She has tutored Isabel as well,” Edith points out gently. “I'm sure she wouldn't mind helping–”

“I really just don't want her to have to deal with... Any of this,” Levi interrupts her, cringing when he imagines the awkward silences him and Marie would no doubt have to live through. “I mean... I don't need to get an A or anything. I just need to pass, right?”

“Well, if you're sure then I guess I can help you with English too,” Edith tells him. “I have to admit I don't know modernist literature that well... But I suppose we can learn together!”

“Can't wait,” Levi mutters, sipping his tea. He wants to say thanks, to tell Edith and Erwin both that he's grateful, but he feels too stupid and useless and the words don't make it past his throat so in the end he leaves them unsaid.

They spend a good half an hour going through the class schedules, marking all the deadlines down in a calendar that Erwin has printed out in his office. Levi reads through the requirements and Edith makes sure he understands them. After that they draw up a weekly schedule for Levi to stick to – it looks like twelve hours of school every day from Monday to Friday to Levi, but he doesn’t say anything about it. As soon as they’re done, Erwin withdraws back to his alpha cave while Edith makes Levi a quick supper and another cup of tea.

“Does it seem daunting?” she asks him, humming out a bit of sympathy when he shrugs. “You’ll do just fine. You’ll see. You’ll pick it up faster than you know.”

But Edith’s words don’t prove true as the week goes on, and by Friday Levi feels no closer to understanding what the teachers are saying than he did the day he started. He spends every evening in the kitchen studying with Edith or Erwin and though they’re both good and patient teachers, Levi keeps making stupid mistakes and he can’t help feeling like what’s keeping him from getting any of it is the decade of knowledge he should already have but doesn’t. The more time passes, the more he feels like he’s wasting everyone’s time and his embarrassment makes him want to run away into the woods.

“Sorry,” he finally huffs at Edith one night, erasing a long string of calculations he’s gotten wrong. “I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“Stop that,” she tells him gently. “If until now no one had the good sense to tell you it’s important to learn this stuff, that’s not on you. It’s on the grown-ups who should’ve known better. Okay? It’s so much harder to learn things on your own. So much harder. Not figuring this stuff out by yourself does not make you an idiot.”

Levi glances up at her but turns quickly back to the numbers on the page when he sees the sad little smile on her lips. It makes him ache and he doesn’t want to think about why it feels so bad to admit that Kenny didn’t do this right.

“Let’s start from the beginning,” Edith says, drawing the book closer and pushing the reading glasses up her nose before touching Levi’s arm softly. “We’ll work through it together. Alright?”

“Yeah,” Levi mutters, sighing and picking up the pencil again.

That night, like every other night, he falls into his bed and falls asleep so fast he doesn’t even have time to jerk off. On Saturday he sleeps until noon, only managing to get downstairs when the lunch rush is over and the only ones in the kitchen are Edith, Mike, Nan and Erwin, who glances up at Levi the second he walks in but turns quickly back to his crossword puzzle.

“Someone slept late,” Nan comments when Levi sits down at the table with his bowlful of rice and tofu. “Tough week?”

He grunts but doesn’t reply, too busy shoving the food into his mouth to fix the near-starvation he feels in his body. The food is good, – he’s really starting to get into this whole tofu thing – the sauce is a little too sweet for his liking but paired with the rice he doesn’t mind it.

“It’s hard work being a student,” Edith says, sitting down opposite of Levi and giving him a kind smile. “It’s good you’re getting your rest.”

“Why?” Levi asks at once. “There’s no tutoring today, is there?”

“No, there’s no tutoring,” Edith hurries to let him know. “You should try and relax. Do something fun.”

Levi chews his food and hesitates for a minute before turning to Erwin. “Can I take the dogs for a run?” he asks. “I wouldn’t mind going out to the woods for a bit.”

“Of course,” Erwin says, barely glancing up from his paper. “I’m sure they’ll be very excited.”

After finishing his lunch, Levi marches over to the dog enclosure and whistles them all to the gate, letting them run through and jump against him, barking and licking his face. He runs with them along the path, breathing so deep he feels like he’s trying to get a week’s worth of fresh air all at once. The forest smells better than it’s ever done before, carrying those first hints of autumn in those scents of death and damp earth. Levi sits by the lake for so long that he starts feeling cold despite Hulk resting his head on his lap again.

He runs into Isabel on his way back through the woods. She walks up to him, getting the dogs all riled up when she greets them. They nearly knock her over when they jump up against her but she just laughs, barking back at them when they whine at her feet.

“You know they probably think you’re crazy,” Levi points out to her but she just laughs.

“Or maybe they think you’re crazy because you never say anything to them,” she counters. “Have you ever thought of that?”

Levi scoffs. Fucking weirdo brat.

They walk along without talking for a while until Isabel skips ahead of Levi and turns around, walking backwards along the trail so she can face him.

“Mama’s been tutoring you _a lot_ ,” she says, making Levi bristle until she grimaces. “I remember what that’s like. I got tutored a lot too when I came here.”

“How come?” Levi asks her but she just shrugs.

“I just didn’t know a lot of stuff,” she says, stopping to pet Sesame when she walks past her. “I wasn’t good with reading and stuff. But now I’m just as good as everyone else – except Stacey Hoffman, but she’s got an IQ of like 160 or something.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, patting Hulk on the head absently. “Did Erwin ever tutor you?”

Isabel shakes her head slowly. “Not really. Just Mama,” she says, looking at Levi. “You ask _a lot_ of questions about Erwin you know.”

“No I don’t,” Levi counters at once, making Isabel frown.

“Umm… Yeah you do,” she says emphatically. “It’s all ‘Has Erwin said anything about me?’ ‘Has Erwin done this?’ ‘Has Erwin done that?’ I mean… What is it with you and Erwin?”

“Nothing,” Levi snaps, resisting the urge to touch the scar on his neck. “There’s not… I don’t even talk about him that much and anyway, it’d be none of your business if I did.”

“Right,” Isabel drawls, pausing for a moment before changing the subject and asking, “How come you live in the main house?”

“Where else would I live?”

The girl shrugs. “All the under eighteen-year-olds are supposed to live in the pup house,” she says. “Or maybe it’s not all the under eighteen-year-olds. I don’t know. We’ve never had anyone as old as you before who was still… You know, not a grown up.”

“You live in the pup house?” Levi asks to confirm what he’s already figured out; Isabel smells like snotty brats more often than not.

 “How come you’ve never been there?” she asks him back after nodding and he shrugs.

“Don’t know,” he tells her, shouting at Biscuit when she starts to wander too far. “Just haven’t gotten around to it I guess.”

“Do you want to come now?”

Levi takes a few seconds to think about it, imagines going back to the house and lying in bed doing nothing, but after all the running he doesn’t feel like staying still so he nods, making Isabel skip a little as she walks further down the path. The dogs follow her excitedly and Levi thinks about speeding up his steps too but stays behind when he notices Hulk has fallen behind.

“Come on, buddy,” he whispers, scratching the old dog behind his ears. “Almost home now.”

They get the dogs back to the enclosure and walk over to the pup house, a large one-story building about a quarter mile from the main house. Levi can hear the kids long before they reach the stairs and he can smell them before Isabel’s opens the door; used diapers and baby powder, peanut butter and jam. A woman with a crying toddler in her arms passes them as soon as they enter and greets them both by name; Levi doesn’t ask her how she knows his.

“They’re doing some painting and coloring in the play room if you two want to go and join them,” she tells them quickly, hushing the kid all the while.

“Err…” Levi starts, determined to refuse the very idea of playing with finger paints, but Isabel grabs his arm and pulls him along further into the house, past the dozen pairs of shoes lined up by the entrance.

“You’re not as cool as you think,” she tells him. “It’ll be fun. Stop being so full of yourself.”

“I’m not being full of myself,” Levi argues, but she either doesn’t hear or doesn’t care.

Levi lingers by the door when Isabel lets go of his hand and runs over to one of the kids’ tables where a couple of snotty brats are making a mess with watercolors. There are a couple of other tables similarly surrounded by two or three kids, all with sheets of paper in front of them and paint all over their clothes. The whole place reeks of emotions, like excitement and frustration and joy and disappointment. It’s enough to make Levi’s head spin, until a sudden tug on the leg of his sweatpants catches his attention. When he looks down, he sees a little wolf puppy has sunken its teeth into the fabric. A thirty-something man follows quickly and picks up the pup, turning the yelping little thing to face himself. Levi stares at him, taken aback for a minute. He wasn’t expecting to see any guys at the pup house.

“You know it’s not puppy play time yet, Ymir,” the man scolds the little wolf, trying to keep a frown on his face but laughing when the wolf pup licks his chin. “Go and get dressed. You can draw a picture for Historia later.”

He puts the puppy back down onto the floor and it runs across the room and out through the door. The man then turns to Levi, greeting him warmly and looking around himself.

“You can go sit with Eren and Mikasa if you want,” he says, pointing at a table where a brown-haired boy is busy painting well past the edge of his sheet of paper. He’s sitting next to a vaguely Asian looking girl who’s buried half her face into a red scarf tied around her neck. “There’s paper and paint if you want to make something.”

“Uhh… Thanks,” Levi mutters, sneaking across the room and sitting down at the kids’ table, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible sitting in the little chair, his knees coming up to his chest. The kids turn to look at him and he nods awkwardly. “Err… Hi.”

“Hi,” both of the kids mumble, glancing at each other but turning quickly back to their artworks.

“Are you umm…” Levi starts again, looking at Eren’s paper that’s drowning in red paint. “What are you painting?”

“This is like, he’s like a samurai super hero,” Eren explains with an excited half-shout, pointing out a dark figure in the middle of the red background – just a couple of lumps with sticks for arms and legs, holding what looks like a sword. “And he’s like… He’s killing all the bad guys and they’re bleeding everywhere.”

“Uhh…” Levi voices again, not knowing what else to say except, “Cool.”

“I’m painting me and Eren,” Mikasa says from across the table, sinking further into her scarf. “We’re at the lake.”

Levi looks at her painting and at the two figures standing by a watery blue mess, their mouths just large red U’s inside circles for faces.

“That’s… Cool too,” Levi tells her, trying to give her a smile but she turns back to her work so quickly he’s sure she hasn’t noticed it and that she doesn’t care. “What are you uhh… What are you doing at the lake?”

“We’re just standing,” she tells Levi quietly and he doesn’t know what else to ask her so he stays quiet.

“Aren’t you gonna paint?” Eren asks him after he’s sat there like an idiot for a couple of minutes and then he feels like it would be weird to say no, so he grabs a sheet of paper from the pile in the middle of the table.

“Sure,” Levi says, picking up a paint brush and letting it hover above the page. He can’t even remember the last time he did this.

“We’re supposed to paint things that make us feel good,” Mikasa mutters into her scarf, making Levi hesitate twice as much.

He stares at the blank sheet of paper and tries to think of something that makes him feel good but the only thing he can think of is jerking off, and then he feels like a fucking sicko for having thought of that in a room full of kids. He thinks about painting himself out running with the dogs, but he doesn’t know how to paint either himself or the dogs, so he lets go of the idea. He’s saved from having to come up with a third unusable idea when the front door opens and closes and a familiar scent carries in with the wind.

“Erwin!” Eren shouts, jumping up from his little chair and joining several of the other kids in rushing to the play room door.

Levi watches as Erwin kneels down and laughs when the kids try to beat each other at climbing onto his back. They’re all talking at once, trying to tell him about their day and pulling at his arm so he’d come and look at _their_ painting _first_. Levi doesn’t quite know why he’s surprised to see that the kids like the man so much. Guess he thought Erwin would be all boring with them too, that he wouldn’t know what to say since the kids don’t know anything about hybrid cars and tax returns. But Erwin goes around the room, looking at what the kids have made and talking to them about why they’ve painted what they’ve painted, smiling when he listens, giving each of them at least one hug before he moves on. If he’s surprised to see Levi there, he doesn’t show it when he greets him softly, sitting down between Eren and Mikasa.

“What have you two painted?” he asks, smiling through his frown when he looks at Eren’s work and listens to his belted-out explanation. “And why does that make you feel good?”

“Well it’s ‘cause…” Eren starts, frowning a little while he pauses. “It’s ‘cause he’s like… The bad guys were doing all these bad things and being evil, but he stopped them from doing those things. And then everyone said he was a hero for doing that.”

“I see,” Erwin says, stroking Eren’s back gently, like calming him down.

Levi makes an effort not to stare at the man, looking at Isabel across the room instead. She’s helping a small, freckled boy reach something on a high shelf, clearly much more at home in this environment than Levi is. He only turns back to Erwin when the man calls his name all of a sudden.

“You haven’t painted anything,” he points out, nodding at Levi’s empty paper.

“Yeah, I couldn’t think of anything,” he replies, laying the paint brush down on the table. “And I can’t draw worth sh– I mean, I’m not really good at it, so…”

“Sometimes it’s the joy you get from doing things that counts,” Erwin tells him, “not so much the result.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, though he doesn’t really care enough to agree or disagree. “I guess I’ll just… Work on that or something.”

“Well, it’s not as if you _have to_ ,” Erwin points out, “but of course you can enrich your life in many ways by doing something creative every once in a while.”

Some part of Levi is dying to ask Erwin what creative stuff he’s ever done in his life, but in the end he just says, “Right” again and leaves the whole thing at that. Not long after that, the same thirty-something guy from before comes into the room and calls all the pups into the entrance hall to pull on their jackets and gloves and shoes.

“Will you come for a walk with us, Erwin?” Mikasa asks the man quietly; Levi can tell he’s genuinely sorry when he says he can’t.

“I have to do some grown-up stuff,” he explains, helping the girl tie her scarf more tightly around her neck. “I’ll see you when you get back. Okay?”

“Okay,” she mumbles, running after Eren and out of the room; Levi catches her pushing her little feet into dark purple rubber boots.

“Aren’t you coming?” Isabel shouts at Levi from the door and he pushes onto his feet, hesitating for a few seconds before he shakes his head.

“I think I’m just going to head back to the house,” he says, expecting her to get upset but she just nods.

“Okay,” she says, laughing when she races a couple of the kids out the door and onto the yard.

Levi follows after they’ve almost walked out of sight, catching Erwin talking with one of the kids’ minders over the paintings right as he’s stepping out the door. He walks back to the house, trying not to wonder if Erwin sees him as just one of the kids. How creepy would that be? Maybe the man secretly hopes he’d move to the pup house so he could just check up on his homework and not have to deal with him otherwise.

“Hello, little one,” Edith greets him when he walks into the kitchen; the nickname makes Levi cringe. “Did you have fun? Were the pups very rowdy.”

Levi shrugs, leaning his elbows against the kitchen island. “They were alright,” he says. “D’you need help with something?”

“No, I’ve got some people coming in soon to help with dinner,” she tells him, passing her hand over his cheek. “You should just go do something you like. Have some fun.”

“Right,” Levi mutters.

He stands up and hovers in the kitchen for another couple of seconds before running upstairs into his room. Once there, he lies down on his bed and stares up at the ceiling, trying to remember what he used to do in the trailer park for fun. The only things that come to mind are Farlan and his dirt bike, but when he dials the boy’s number, he doesn’t pick up. He considers changing shapes and going for a run in the woods, but he feels too awkward about it, not knowing where he should leave his clothes and who would let him out of the house and back in again. He ends up playing games on his phone and reading a couple of chapters of the book he’s supposed to read. It’s the most boring way to try and not be bored and when he finally sits down for his English lesson on Monday, Levi’s sure he’s got nothing meaningful to say about the book. He makes it through class by agreeing with things other people have said, relieved when he can slip out the door at the end of it without being called out by the teacher.

The start of the week is not much different from the previous one. Levi has a moment of joy during his math lesson when he thinks he’s finally gotten something right for once, but he quickly realizes he’s made the same mistake that he made when Edith was tutoring him. After that, nothing’s likely to improve his mood, and when one of the other werewolves greets him in the hallway, Levi walks straight past her without giving her so much as a glance. When he half runs down the stairs and starts marching towards the car, he feels like nothing can make his mood worse than it already is – until he sees Erwin sitting behind the wheel of the hybrid in the parking lot.

“Where’s Edith?” Levi asks him as soon as he’s sat down on the passenger seat; he can smell the man’s discomfort again and grits his teeth against it.

“She was busy,” Erwin offers as a meagre explanation, reminding Levi of the seatbelt before turning the key in the ignition.

“We’re supposed to wait for Isabel,” Levi tells him, feeling a twinge of anxiety in his chest at the thought of being alone in the car with the man.

“She’s got her soccer team meet-up. Mike and Nan will pick her up later,” Erwin says, peering into the rear view mirror as he backs out of the parking lot.

It’s as if Levi’s mind has been waiting for this moment alone with the alpha to unleash the full force of his confusion over what Isabel told him at the pack barbecue. In the small space, Erwin’s scent is inescapable and it makes the hairs on the back of Levi’s head stand on end. He takes a few deeper breaths on the sly, trying to pick up anything resembling compatibility or whatever the fuck Isabel called it, but he smells nothing. He tries to use Mike and Nan as a reference point, but that just makes Erwin smell more foreign.

The thought is fucking insane, that Erwin would’ve caught Levi’s scent at the border and thought they were… What? Destined to be together or some shit? But even worse than that is the thought that the man changed his mind only when he saw Levi – at the very second he saw him. Levi wonders if even now Erwin’s quietly looking for someone else he can bite in that other way, like Mike and Nan have bitten each other. Maybe he’s even got his eye on that guy who minds the pups – the two seemed cosy enough during the weekend for Levi to believe it.

“What are you doing?” Levi asks as soon as he notices Erwin taking an unfamiliar turn.

“I’m just stopping for some gas,” the man tells him, his voice as calming as he can make it, Levi’s sure.

He pulls his phone out of his pocket as soon as Erwin’s out the car, losing himself in one of the games, his ears still picking up the sounds of the man filling the tank. He glances up only once, deciding against doing it again when he catches the reflection of Erwin’s forearms in the wing mirror. The only thing that manages to draw his focus from the phone is the sound of someone shouting outside – someone too fucking familiar to ignore.

It’s such a visceral reaction that it surprises even Levi himself and for a few seconds after he’s jumped out of the car, a part of him is still wondering if he’s actually doing it. He can see Kenny marching forward with Traute, the dumb bitch, hard on his heels and the sight makes his insides twist with anger. He doesn’t realise his hands clenching into fists until he registers the pain on his palms where he’s dug his nails. There’s a growl building in his throat but it breaks when Kenny beats him to slinging the first insult.

“You goddamn son of a bitch,” he barks but looks past Levi, as if he’s barely seeing him at all. “This is not your lucky fucking day, believe me.”

Levi manages another couple of steps forward until a strong hand clutches his shoulder and forces him to stop. He glances back at Erwin, hearing the quickened beating of his heart – the only sign he’s in any way unnerved by the other alpha. The man moves past Levi, keeping his hand on his shoulder until Levi throws it off and attempts to rush past him to get at Kenny only to have Erwin push him back again.

“We don’t want any trouble,” he calls out, grabbing a tighter hold around the fabric of Levi’s hoodie. “We’ve got no business with you.”

“The hell you don’t,” Kenny growls, baring his teeth. “Didn’t I fucking tell you what would happen if you tried to take my nephew away? I fucking warned you–”

“You think someone fucking took me away from your piece of shit pack?” Levi shouts at the man who only turns to look at him at that. “You’re a fucking idiot, Kenny! You’re such a goddamn motherfucking–”

“Don’t you talk to me like–”

“I’ll talk to you however the fuck I want!” Levi yells, barely hearing Erwin trying to calm him down, barely feeling the man holding him back. His whole body is burning with the anger boiling in his gut. “After what you fucking did? You’re lucky I haven’t come back to fucking stab you to death in your sleep you piece of–”

“Hey. Hey!” Erwin’s voice finally pierces through and Levi turns to look at him but doesn’t understand the mix of calm and anger coming off him. “There’s no need for that, Levi. There’s no need for that. Just let it go.”

“You do everything he tells you to now?” Kenny shouts at Levi, pacing back and forth. “You his little bitch now, is that it?”

Levi makes a new lunge at the man, but Erwin catches his arm as surely as before, forcing himself between Levi and Kenny.

“I said we’ve got no business with you,” he tells Kenny again, his voice as calm as ever when he looks behind himself and says, “Levi. Get in the car. Just get in the car.”

“Hey!” Kenny shouts, turning to the people standing around Levi hasn’t noticed until now. “Hey, someone call the cops or something! This fucking paedophile is kidnapping my nephew!”

“Fuck you, Kenny!” Levi shouts at him, opening the car door but not getting inside. “You’re a fucking piece of shit! I hope you rot in hell you dumb fuck!”

“Come on,” Erwin says; a hint of his shame pierces through Levi’s rage and suddenly he feels so bad for the man. “He can’t do anything. Let’s go.”

“Oh, _I_ can’t do anything?” Kenny yells, pointing his finger at Erwin. “You haven’t seen what I can do you cradle-robbing piece of shit! You’ve got no fucking clue what’s coming to you! Just you fucking wait!”

“Fuck you!” Levi shouts one last time before getting in the car and closing the door; it barely muffles the sound of Kenny’s voice when he continues to scream. “Just drive. Let’s just get the fuck out of here.”

They’ve driven for a couple of miles before either one of them speaks, when Erwin asks Levi if he’s okay. He nods though his breathing is still shallow and though his hands haven’t stopped shaking. He can still feel the tremor in them when Erwin finally parks the car outside the house. Neither one of them moves to get out.

“You know…” Levi starts, his voice breaking. “Fuck. I’m really sorry about–”

“It’s alright, Levi,” Erwin interrupts him, his hands falling off the steering wheel and onto his lap. “You don’t need to apologise for him. There’s nothing you need to apologise for. Okay?”

“Yeah,” Levi mutters, though he doesn’t feel it. He can still sense remnants of Erwin’s shame and guilt and hurt, all brought to the surface again – reminders of the mistake Levi made. Suddenly he’s more aware than ever of how badly he’s fucked up everyone else’s lives in the process of trying to make something of his own.

“My mother told me about what happened,” Erwin says so quietly it’s nearly a whisper. “I’m really sorry that happened to you.”

Levi doesn’t know what to say so he shrugs and keeps his eyes on the tips of his tennis shoes. Next to him he can feel something strange coming off Erwin, the same sort of urge Edith sometimes gets to reach out her hand and touch him – but on Erwin it’s stronger, much stronger.

“I want you to know…” Erwin goes on, taking a moment to clear his throat. “I want you to know you don’t have to be afraid. You will not have to go back to your uncle’s pack. I promise you.”

Levi grunts, still lost for words, but when Erwin makes to get out of the car his hand shoots up to stop the man.

“Thanks,” he mutters, barely finding the courage to glance up, “for standing up for me and… Everything.”

Erwin stays quiet for a few seconds, going through too many emotions for Levi to pick up on them.

“Of course,” he finally says, his tone so neutral it makes Levi ache. “You’re in my pack.”

“Right,” Levi whispers, not sure why that wasn’t the thing he wanted to hear after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More coming soon! ( sorry for lying last time )
> 
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> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

Two weeks pass in a haze of continuous tiredness, the days blur together through their edges in the unchanging routine of school and even more school. The second book on Levi’s reading list for English class turns out to be way more confusing than the first, the maths homework keeps taking him hours every night even with Edith’s help, the principles of economics that Erwin tries to talk him through keep making no sense to him. Every night he feels like he’s tried to fit about two hundred things too many into his brain and it all bleeds into his dreams where he keeps staring at statistics and trying to solve equations, waking up badly rested and cranky.

Two weeks is also how long it takes the little gang of werewolves at school to muster up the courage and talk to Levi again. He catches them looking at him almost every day, whispering like they’re trying to come to a decision about something. He finds out what that something is when one day the only girl in the group walks across the cafeteria and asks him if she can sit with him. Levi gives her a disinterested shrug that she interprets as an invitation, sitting down across from him with her home-made lunch and introducing herself as Petra.

“I think maybe you didn’t notice but I tried saying hi to you before,” she says, folding up her paper bag once she’s gotten her lunch organised on top of her tray.

“No, I did notice,” Levi tells her honestly, sensing her sudden embarrassment and adding, “I was just… It wasn’t a good day.”

“Oh, okay,” she breathes, sounding relieved. “Sorry.”

Levi shrugs again, turning back to his lunch and leaving the girl hesitating over what to say next. He catches her glancing behind herself at the others, like looking to them to tell her what to do next. Some part of him feels sorry for her – but not so much that he’d start making an effort to come up with something to say.

“So, you’re like…” Petra starts, glancing around herself again and lowering her voice. “I mean, you’re like us, aren’t you?”

“Sure,” Levi says, looking at the three guys huddled together at their table and hesitating for a moment before adding, “I guess.”

They both fall quiet again for a while until Petra says, “Well… You know we’re the only ones in this school so… We’ve kind of got this group thing going? You know, if you’re interested. Like you can come and sit with us or… You know, whatever. If you want.”

“Sure,” Levi says again but doesn’t make a single move to get up even when Petra does.

“Well…” she mutters, shrugging a little. “I guess I just… Wanted to let you know.”

“Thanks,” Levi tells her, turning back to his lunch.

He glances up at her when she walks back to her usual table; the guys crowd around her as soon as she sits down and Levi has to stop himself from listening to what they’re asking her. He can’t really put his finger on why he doesn’t want to join them, why when Petra said he’s like they are he felt uncomfortable and hesitant. He’s never spent any time with werewolves his own age – or humans, for that matter, except for Farlan. He doesn’t know what they do or how they act. For all he knows the guys are all miniature alpha jerks fighting amongst themselves over control of the group. It doesn’t sound like something Levi wants to be a part of.

And still he keeps thinking about it even at home after school and something about it makes him think of Farlan; they’ve barely called each other in weeks. After dinner he asks Edith if it would be alright for him to invite the boy over one day, expecting hesitation and a reluctant “no” laced with half a dozen apologies. Instead Edith smiles widely, radiating so much excitement it makes Levi’s arms tingle.

“Of course you can invite Farlan over,” she tells him, passing him a copper pot from the sink for him to dry. “You can invite any of your friends over whenever you want to.”

“Right,” Levi mutters. “So it’s not a problem that he’s… You know, human?”

“Why would that be a problem?” Edith asks him back and he shrugs.

“I don’t know,” he says. “Just… There’s some weird shit going on here sometimes. Like… Weird for people who don’t know about this. And I was thinking maybe you don’t really want anyone to know.”

Edith lets out a loud laugh. “Trust me, we all know how to behave ourselves,” she says, touching Levi’s face with her hand. “We also don’t get territorial – you know, in case you ever want to invite any of your werewolf friends over.”

“Sure,” Levi mutters again, not wanting to talk to her about how he’s never had friends like that.

He sends Farlan a quick text that night and they agree to hang out on Saturday. They keep texting long into the night and though Levi wakes up tired the next day because of it, he’s happy about having patched things up between them. Maybe some of that is still lingering in his mind when he goes to lunch the next day, because something makes him hesitate and stare at the lonely corner table he usually eats at and then walk across the room instead. The gang of four are all surprised when he walks up to them but they make room for him quickly, smiling nervously and glancing at each other before the guys introduce themselves as Gunther, Eld and Oluo.

Weird fucking names.

He tells them his name and turns quickly back to his lunch when Oluo extends his hand; he can see the boy withdrawing it slowly and grabbing his sandwich instead.

“Yeah, we know,” Petra says, still a little nervously. “You’re a senior, right?”

“Man, I can’t wait to graduate,” Eld huffs after Levi nods. “Wish it was my last year too.”

“Yeah,” Levi says. “It’ll be nice to get out of here I guess.”

“You just transferred last month, right?” Petra asks him and he nods again. “Yeah, we all noticed. There aren’t a lot of wolves in this school, so… We all caught your scent as soon as you walked in, basically.”

“Uh-huh,” Levi says again, glancing up at their excited faces before taking another bite of his sandwich.

“So you’re in the Smith pack?” Oluo asks and groans a little when Levi nods. “Yeah, I could tell by your…” He makes a vague gesture around the back of his head. “You are so lucky. I would _kill_ to be in that pack.”

“Why?” Levi asks, genuinely confused when the others exchange a look.

“Well, it’s just…” Oluo starts, pausing to look around himself. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I _don’t mind_ my own pack, it’s just… The Smith pack is _so cool_.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s like…” the boy starts again. “You know, you’ve got a young alpha who actually gets things, you know? Who’s all about innovation and the future and stuff. Who’s not all about like… Upholding traditions and stuff like that but who’s actually looking forward and seeing things as they are right now.”

“Err… Okay,” Levi voices, not really sure what to say to any of that.

“Which is why the whole him claiming you for his pack thing was such a surprise move too,” Oluo goes on, making Levi tense up as the scar on his neck tingles. “I mean, who even does that at this day and age? And especially the alpha of a pack as big and strong as his and _ow_ what the _fuck_ Petra, why do you keep kicking me?!”

Levi glances at the girl who’s giving Oluo the strongest “shut the fuck up or else” –look he’s ever seen on anyone. Still it takes Oluo a few seconds to start stuttering out a fix.

“I mean…” he starts, uncomfortable and embarrassed. “I didn’t mean… It’s just… Well, we all know about it, you know, and it’s just that… It’s just really unusual and… I probably shouldn’t have brought it up so… Sorry, I guess.”

“Right,” Levi says, finishing his sandwich as fast as he can in the awkward silence none of them seem to know how to break. After he gets up and leaves, he can hear Petra going into full scolding mode.

He’s still thinking about it at the end of the day when he gets into the pick-up, giving Mike a nod of a hello before buckling up.

“Isabel got soccer practice again?” he asks when Mike starts the engine right away, scoffing when the man nods. “The fuck are they training for? The world championship or something?”

“They won nationals last year,” Mike says quietly, prompting another scoff out of Levi.

Oluo’s words keep repeating in his mind while he stares out the window at the overly-familiar route. His curiosity finally peaks when Mike takes a left towards the center of town.

“How long has Erwin been the alpha?”

“About three years,” the man replies. “Why?”

Levi shrugs. “Just wondering,” he says, turning back to the window for a few seconds. “So how did it even happen? Like… When your dad ‘retired’ or whatever you all just went like, ‘Erwin’s the new alpha and if you guys don’t like it you can go live somewhere else’ or what?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Mike says, shifting in his seat a little. “We voted. At the end of it Erwin had the most votes. We all pretty much agreed he had the most skills and motivation for the job.”

“Jesus…” Levi huffs, thinking about the day Kenny took over the pack, back when he was still so little and scared of the whole thing more than anything else. “And everyone just went along with that?”

“Most people did,” Mike explains, keeping his eyes on the road. “Erwin’d already been the beta for years and done that well. He makes sure everyone gets heard. At the end of the day none of us lack for anything. There really was no trouble before–”

The words seem to slip out of Mike’s mouth before he can stop himself. Even without him finishing the sentence, Levi knows what he’s been about to say. An uncomfortable silence fills the car, broken only by Mike clearing his throat.

“So people weren’t happy about that?” Levi finally asks, feeling the urge to touch the scar but resisting.

“It’s not that they weren’t happy,” Mike tells him after a moment’s hesitation. “Most people were confused more than anything. Doing something like that is unlike Erwin so some of us were really surprised.”

“Okay,” Levi mutters, falling quiet again before saying, “Why is it unlike him?”

“You know what he’s like,” Mike says, glancing quickly at Levi. “Always trying to do the right thing. Claiming like he did it hasn’t been seen as okay in the pack for a long time. We’ve got rules for that kind of thing these days. We don’t really do that anymore – outside mating, that is.”

“What do you mean, outside mating?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean?” Mike asks him, frowning.

“Well just…” Levi starts, struggling to continue. “I mean, I get that it’s different but… How different is it? Or like… What’s the difference?”

Mike keeps frowning and glancing at Levi whenever he’s not staring at the road. “You really don’t know this stuff?” he asks and Levi bristles.

“Forget it,” he mutters; Mike’s reply is an exasperated sigh.

“Sorry,” he says quietly. “I’m just used to people knowing this stuff.”

“Whatever,” Levi mumbles.

“I don’t mind explaning it to you,” Mike tells him, pausing to wait for Levi’s reply and sighing when he doesn’t get one. “Werewolves bite on the neck for two reasons. The first is to claim a mate – like Nan and me. The second is for an alpha to claim someone into their pack. Sometimes it’s a combination of the two, but that’s more what happened back in the day. In our pack an alpha won’t claim anyone who hasn’t expressly asked to be claimed.”

Levi stays quiet, looking out the window and thinking, the scar itching to be touched. It’s been a while since that night has been brought back to his mind and the thought feels different now, the memory of the chase doesn’t make his heart beat quite as fast or make his breathing quite as shallow. He thinks about Erwin sitting in his home office day in day out and he understands what Mike and Oluo said: it is difficult to imagine someone like Erwin turning into a beast and sinking his teeth into someone’s flesh to take them away from their home and their family. Clearly even Mike doesn’t fully understand why he did it, which means Levi has just about zero chance of figuring it out himself. It might be connected to the whole compatibility thing Isabel talked about – and maybe that’s what Erwin tried to do, the kind of biting he wasn’t supposed to. He obviously though back then that Levi wanted to get claimed – and why wouldn’t he have?

“It used to be a thing new alphas would do if they wanted to grow their pack really fast,” Mike goes on explaning. “Claiming a mate from a rival pack without consent was also a thing some alphas would do to stir things up, to let everyone know who’s boss. But there’s less and less of that now. I’ve not heard of anyone doing it around these parts for a good hundred years.”

Levi grunts an acknowledgement of the words but leaves his replies at that, grateful when Mike falls quiet too. The silence lasts until they’ve both entered the house and walked into the kitchen where Erwin and Edith are going over some papers. She gives Levi a warm smile while Erwin barely glances up before turning back to the pages on the kitchen island.

“Hello, little one,” Edith greets him gently, already pouring him a cup of tea when he sits down. “Fun day at school?”

Levi grunts a reply and grabs the cup by its rim to take a hurried sip. When he lowers it again, he catches Erwin turning back to his papers in a flash, like he’s been looking at him.

“Met the president of your fanclub,” Levi says; it takes Erwin a few seconds to look up.

“I’m sorry?”

“This kid at school,” he explains, grabbing a cookie off a plate by the teapot and shoving half of it into his mouth. “He thinks you’re the shit.”

“He thinks I’m what?” Erwin asks, confused.

“I think it means you’re the _bee’s knees_ ,” Edith explains, making Levi scoff out a laugh.

“Oh,” Erwin says, frowning for a moment longer before turning back to his papers. “That’s… Flattering, I suppose.”

Levi snorts and snatches another cookie off the plate, meeting Edith’s pleased smile by rolling his eyes. He runs the treat upstair when he goes and changes out of his uniform, pushing the window open to catch the scents of fallen leaves and damp earth and smoke. His gaze brushes past the pick-up and he thinks of his conversation with Mike, fingers absently circling the scar until he notices it and forces his hand down. Still not a mark of family and Levi doesn’t know what more he or anyone else could do to make it that.

 

Farlan comes over on Saturday, peering through his windshield in confusion when he drives his old Ford Fiesta past the hybrid and parks in front of the house. Levi skips down the porch steps to meet him, looking around when he does, seeing it all as if for the first time. Suddenly the house looks bigger than it has for weeks, the polished railings of the porch look both old-fashioned and modern at the same time. Farlan answers his nod with the same and glances nervously at the kitchen windows.

“So you really live here?” he asks, laughing a little nervously when Levi shrugs. “Okay.”

“Wanna see my room?” Levi asks, leading the boy into the house and up the stairs.

Farlan stops at the door to look into the bedroom, his brows climbing towards the floppy strand of hair that’s always threatening to fall over his eyes.

“I’d call this an upgrade,” he mutters and walks in, sitting down on the bed while Levi stays standing, leaning onto the desk. “And it’s all out of the goodness of their hearts?”

Levi rubs the back of his neck and shrugs again. “Pretty much.”

Farlan sighs and shuffles further onto the bed, looking around the walls appraisingly. “I don’t know,” he says. “It could do with a bit of color.”

Levi snorts and lies down next to him, propped up on an elbow. They stay quiet for a long time.

“So what do you do around here?” Farlan finally asks and Levi groans quietly.

“Mostly just school stuff,” he admits, glancing at the pile of books on his desk. “Just tutoring and more fucking tutoring after that.”

“But that’s good, right?” Farlan asks and Levi groans again.

“Yeah, it is,” he has to admit. “I’ll never graduate from that hellhole school otherwise. It’s just weird that someone gives a shit.”

“Someone should’ve given a shit a long time ago, you know,” Farlan mutters and Levi grunts; he’s definitely understood that much from the tutoring, that’s for fucking certain. “So that’s it? You just get tutored?”

“I help out with stuff sometimes,” Levi tells him. “Take the dogs out for a run, help with the cooking and cleaning and shit.”

“But you don’t _have to–_ ”

“No,” Levi interrupts him. “I don’t have to. It’s just… I don’t know, it feels like the right thing to do.”

“Well that’s okay I guess,” Farlan says and sighs. “I just wanted to make sure this isn’t like some Cinderella shit or something.”

Levi lets out a snort of laughter. “Yeah, ‘cause that’s me, isn’t it?”

“I know.” Farlan sighs again. “You’re much more of a Pocahontas than a Cinderella.”

“Jesus, that’s some gay shit,” Levi huffs. “Besides isn’t that kind of racist? Or like… disrespectful or some shit?”

“Well we don’t know who your dad was, do we?” Farlan argues. “Ethnically speaking you could be pretty much half anything.”

“I guess,” Levi agrees, leaning his head against the wall and looking up at the ceiling. “Half a piece of shit useless asshole probably.”

Farlan agrees with a quiet grunt and ruffles Levi’s hair. “You turned out alright though.”

“Thanks,” Levi drawls but laughs the next second. “Better off like this I bet.”

“Most likely,” Farlan says, stretching his arms above his head and yawning. “So what do you want to do?”

Levi shrugs. “You hungry?” he asks. “I could eat like a sandwich or something.”

In the kitchen they run into Edith, who greets Farlan with a wide, excited smile and rushes forward to shake his hand.

“So nice to meet one of Levi’s friends,” she tells him; while she starts looking around herself, Farlan turns around to mouth ‘one of?’ to Levi who shrugs. “You both should have something to eat… Sandwiches? Fruit? Soup? What would you like?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Levi tells her a little impatiently. “Just sit down and… do your thing. Write a list or something.”

Edith laughs and touches Levi’s shoulder on her way back to the kitchen island. “So Farlan,” she calls out over to the fridge where the boy is helping Levi with the sandwiches. “How long have you known Levi for?”

“Uhh…” Farlan starts, his forehead wrinkling as he thinks. “Like… ten years or something?”

“Childhood friends then!” Edith exclaims, clearly pleased with it for some reason. “Levi never told me that!”

“Yeah, he wouldn’t,” Farlan says flatly, poking Levi between the ribs.

“Talking’s overrated,” Levi says, smirking when he hears Edith clicking her tongue behind him.

“So what do you boys have planned?” she asks when Levi and Farlan join her at the kitchen island with their sandwiches. “It’s been so long since Erwin and Mike were your age I can’t remember what boys your age do for fun.”

Levi and Farlan share a look and synchronised shrugs.

“I don’t know,” Levi says. “We’ll probably just… hang out?”

“Ah,” Edith voices. “Well, it’s a lovely day. You might want to ‘hang out’ outside, get some fresh air.”

Levi and Farlan share another look.

“Yeah, we’ll see,” Levi mutters, making Edith laugh quietly.

“As you wish,” she says gently, placing her reading glasses on her nose just as the door to the kitchen opens; Levi glances up to see Erwin but turns back to his sandwich just as quickly.

“Hello,” Erwin says, crossing the room to shake Farlan’s hand, and Levi can hear the hint of surprise in his voice. “We’ve not properly met before. Erwin.”

“Hi,” Farlan replies and when Levi looks up at him, he can see his cheeks have flushed a bright pink. “Farlan. Church. It’s… nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Erwin says,  flashing the boy a quick smile before turning to Edith. “Did Flagon come by while I was out?”

“Yes, he said he’ll be back for dinner and that you could talk then,” Edith tells her son who nods and walks over to the coffee maker to fill his keep-warm cup.

“Sorry, I’ve got to run. Nice meeting you, Farlan,” he calls out before exiting the kitchen, leaving behind only a faint scent of sweat that grates on Levi’s nerves.

“Who was that?” Farlan asks Levi a little breathlessly once they’re back in his room.

“Who?” Levi asks back. “Edith?”

“Erwin,” Farlan corrects him, making him frown.

“He’s just…” Levi starts and shrugs. “I don’t know. He’s Erwin.”

“Does he tutor you?”

“Sometimes,” Levi says, sitting down on the bed. “Why?”

Farlan shrugs when he joins Levi. “Just… wondering how you get any work done, that’s all.”

Levi snorts and leaves the comment unanswered, mainly because he doesn’t want to admit that sometimes during tutoring it takes most of his energy just to keep from staring at Erwin’s forearms. It doesn’t help that whenever the man praises him for something he’s done right, a warm tingling starts spreading from his neck down to his groin.

“Well,” Farlan says and sighs. “They don’t seem like human traffickers.”

“I told you, didn’t I?” Levi says, making room so Farlan can pull his feet onto the bed. “Too fucking wholesome. I bet none of them even has a speeding ticket.”

 

They spend a couple hours sitting around not doing anything much. Levi tells Farlan about some of the other people in the pack, worn down by his incessant asking. Farlan in turn complains about the renovating his parents are doing on the house, saying the headaches he gets from the paint fumes are ruining his life. His story keeps getting getting interrupted by the constant beeping of his phone – incoming messages from Kevin, his… well, not boyfriend. Farlan insists on that.

“Kevin and I have been… you know, like, doing it on the phone,” he tells Levi who snorts out a laugh. “I feel like such an old lady whenever I tell him I can’t ‘cause I have a headache.”

When Farlan leaves to go home, Levi stays downstairs after walking him to his car and helps out with the dinner prep. When he takes his place in the line in front of Erwin, Levi’s annoyed to find himself glancing back to see the man’s forearms bared by the rolled-up sleeves of his shirt. It’s good Erwin’s focus is on Isabel; the two have spent the day out in the town and are still talking about it. Erwin’s taken her to the planetarium and she can’t shut up about it, even boring Levi with some of the facts she’s learned. Levi doesn’t understand why but listening to them makes him grit his teeth and bristle with anger. They only stop when Flagon walks up to have a word with Erwin – something boring about money or something.

“I thinks it’s best to do a bit more comparing of the rates before we–” Flagon says, stopping abruptly; Levi can hear him drawing a few deep breaths. “Sorry, I just… What _is_ that smell?”

“What smell?” Erwin asks him and Levi glances back at the pair of them.

“I don’t know,” Flagon says, smelling the air again. “I can’t really place it, it’s like… perfume? Something artificial.”

“Here?” Erwin asks him but the other man doesn’t seem to really hear the question. “That seems unlikely.”

“Strange,” Flagon mutters, frowning and glancing at Levi. “It’s… not unpleasant.”

Levi gives him a look that’s equal parts confusion and disgust and turns quickly around to grab a plate off the side table; Erwin steps forward too, closer than Levi feels is necessary.

“We’ll talk more in a moment.” Levi hears Erwin telling Flagon who disappears to his own place in the line.

Levi still catches Flagon looking in his direction almost constantly during dinner – but it seems it doesn’t annoy him nearly as much as it annoys Erwin.

“Maybe we should return to this subject when you’re less preoccupied,” he finally snaps at Flagon who visibly flinches at the table.

“Sorry, I’ll talk to you later,” he mutters, giving Levi one more confused glance before he leaves the room without finishing his dinner.

There’s no end to how creeped out Levi is by that and the next time Flagon shows up for dinner in the main house a week later, Levi does his best to avoid him. It seems the man’s confusion only grows that time, though when Erwin asks him if there’s something on his mind again, the man shakes his head.

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” he says, frowning. “Sorry, Erwin. I really don’t know what came over me last time.”

“No need to apologise,” Erwin tells him but Levi thinks he can still detect a hint of coldness in his tone. Alphas. Someone zones out for two fucking seconds and they lose their shit, as if what they have to say is always so fucking important.

 

Another week passes without Flagon creeping Levi the fuck out again – no more than usual anyway – and on top of that, he starts to feel like he’s finally getting something at school. He has a pop quiz one math lesson and when he gets the test sheet back, he can hardly believe he got 73 out of a 100. When he shows it to Edith, the woman nearly pulls him into a hug.

“See?” she exclaims. “You are just as capable of learning new things as everybody else. All you needed was a bit of encouragement.”

“It’s not a big deal, you know,” Levi tries to tell her but she’s having none of it.

“Of course it is!” she demands, dusting flour off her hands with her apron. “I am very proud of you, Levi – and you should be proud of yourself.”

“Yeah, whatever,” Levi mutters but can’t help smiling when he pushes the sheet of paper back into his backpack. “What are you making?”

“Oh, I’ve been baking all day,” she says, joining Levi at the kitchen island. “You know, for Erwin’s birthday.”

Right. Levi’s  heard people mentioning it more and more over the past week but he’s not given it much thought. It’s not as if it’s a national fucking holiday – though Levi wouldn’t put it past these weirdos to treat it like a second Christmas.

“You need help?” he asks Edith. “I can run upstair and change and give you a hand.”

“Of course,” she tells him with a smile. “Thank you, little one.”

Levi’s never baked a thing in his life but Edith is a patient teacher in that too and though Levi thought it would be more the kind of thing that Farlan would enjoy, he actually ends up having an alright time. Every once in a while they stop to sample what they’ve baked over a cup of tea to the point where Levi feels a little sick from all the sugar.

“So how old is Erwin now anyway?” he asks Edith when they sit down at the kitchen island and she starts decorating the cake.

“Twenty-eight,” she tells him, looking up with a frown. “That reminds me, I wonder if we have enough candles left…”

“Isn’t that kind of old to be having a birthday party and having your mom bake a cake for you?” Levi asks her but she merely laughs.

“You’re not the only one who thinks that, you know,” she says, “but he goes along with it for my sake. I just like doing this for him.”

“Why?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she breathes, spreading some cream onto the cake with a long spatula. “I suppose… Well, it can get quite sad when your kids grow up. Maybe this is just my way of holding on to it.”

“That’s kind of weird,” Levi tells her. “He’s like… A grown-ass man.”

“I know,” Edith says and sighs. “I think everyone should have one special day that’s just theirs – even if they’re grown-ass men.”

Levi snorts. “Guess rich people can believe in mushy shit like that,” he says.

Edith stays quiet for a moment before asking, a littl hesitantly, “So you never had that? A special day?”

“Not really,” Levi tells her, pausing to take a gulp of tea. “My birthday’s on Christmas.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Edith says, like suddenly remembering, humming a little pensively when Levi nods. “I always thought that must be a double-edged sword of sorts.”

“I don’t really care,” Levi says – and it’s true, he doesn’t anymore. “It’s not that big a deal.”

Edith falls quiet again and when she speaks, she’s even more hesitant than before.

“Did your mother make it big deal of it?”

The words raise instant memories to Levi’s mind, of softly whispered pet names and special little gifts his mom would give him in the morning before he’d even get out of bed. He always felt like she loved him more on those days than the others.

“Yeah, she did,” Levi tells Edith and, afraid that she’ll keep asking about her, asks, “So will there be a big party for Erwin?”

“Not a big party, no,” Edith says. “Just the usual dinner and then cake. He’ll probably go out to town with some of the others afterwards.”

“So no balloons and clowns?”

“No balloons and clowns,” Edith agrees, piping a few flourishes on top of the cake.

 

If Erwin is upset with the fuss Edith is making, he doesn’t show it, smiling instead as he blows out the candles on his cake. When he hears that Levi has helped Edith bake it, he thanks him, smiling even after Levi shrugs dismissively.

“It was nothing,” he mutters, crossing his arms over his chest not to bring one of his hands up to his neck.

“Well…” Erwin starts, laughing a little. “Thank you anyway.”

Levi shrugs a second time, trying to throw off the gratitude that he doesn’t want from the man, but it follows him to bed that night where he keeps finding his hand caressing the back of his neck. He tries to imagine that night and see it through Erwin’s eyes but as soon as he nears that fatal moment, his mind goes blank. He can’t understand what would make someone do what Erwin did – hell, he still doesn’t fully understand why he himself did what he did. The thought of it keeps him awake until long into the night and it forces his hand from his neck to his cock – though he can’t think of Erwin then.

He sneaks downstairs for a glass of water after washing up, stepping so soundlessly on the stairs he can hear the soft clinking carrying out from the kitchen. He doesn’t need to wait for the hunched-over figure to straighten his back to know it’s Erwin, fumbling with his own glass of water. He makes room at the sink when Levi walks over, all the more wary for the alcohol he can smell on the man’s breath.

“Can’t sleep?”

Levi shakes his head and fills his glass, every sense sharpened to catch Erwin moving, to be ready to fend off something unwanted. Instead the man stands still, leaning onto the counter and smiling quietly to himself.

“Thought I’d drink some water,” he says quietly. “Feel a bit better in the morning.”

Levi grunts in a way that’s not much a reply and takes a few large gulps out of his glass. There’s something almost dishevelled about Erwin now that he looks at him – or it could just be that he looks relaxed for the first time ever.

“Though I guess you wouldn’t know about that,” he says to Levi, laughing quietly. “Hangovers and such. Well, not from personal experience anyway.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, topping up his glass and taking a few steps toward the door before Erwin’s voice stops him.

“I’ve been meaning to let you know,” he says, voice teetering, like he’s trying to muster up some of that authority he usually has but doesn’t quite manage. “There’s a hunt coming up next weekend. It’s up to you, of course, but it’d  be great if you could join us. You did that in your former pack, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” Levi says, nearly too stunned for words. “Yeah, I’d… I mean, it sounds great. Count me in.”

“Good,” Erwin says, giving Levi a quick smile. “I’m curious to see what you can do.”

Levi doesn’t know what to say to that so he starts crossing the room, listening to Erwin refilling his glass behind him. There’s something hanging in the air, something that makes Levi feel a little wretched and ungrateful that makes him turn around at the door.

“And hey,” he calls quietly across the room. “Happy birthday.”

It takes Erwin a moment to respond.

“Thank you, Levi,” he finally says. “I appreciate that."

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be back later this month with part two of the series! Can you believe it 1/4 done! 
> 
> my [tumblr](http://hedera-helixwriteseruri.tumblr.com)  
> my [twitter](https://twitter.com/hederahelix_)

Levi fiddles nervously with a corner of his towel, watching Erwin and Flagon hunched over a laptop at the other end of the porch, the drone that moments before was hovering over the roof now sitting on the table next to them. He listens absently to what they’re talking about as he leans onto the side of the building and watches the first rays of sunlight painting the horizon with gold and blood. The rest of the hunting party stands nearby, some yawning, some talking, Isabel chasing Moblit while Hange watches on and laughs. Levi shields his eyes to see the main house in the distance, to catch the lights in the kitchen window, but from here at the edge of the forest it’s too far for him to make them out. There’s a flutter in the pit of his stomach but he forces himself to ignore it and pushes his hand into the pocket of his sweatpants to keep his fingers still.

When he breathes and smells the air, Levi can tell the weather is perfect for a hunt; crisp and cool and sunny, not a cloud in the sky to promise rain that might obscure the scents of prey. His body is already itching to transform, to catch the ground under his paws and sprint into the woods, to follow his instincts as much as the smells that provide constant guidance. He casts a sly glance at Erwin and Flagon to see if they’re about done counting the game, but they’re both still peering at the screen and it takes them a good five minutes to finally straighten their backs. Levi catches a second’s worth of Flagon’s dismay before he turns his attention to the way everyone’s started drifting towards the porch.

“If I could just have everyone’s attention for a second,” Erwin calls out from the top of the steps; Levi follows him with his gaze but doesn’t move closer. “Flagon and I just finished the count and have settled for a limit of three adult deer. No fawns and no young ones. Other than that it’s pretty much business as usual. Flagon will stay behind to make sure there aren’t any problems. And of course, it’s Levi’s first hunt with us so let’s make sure he feels welcome. Alright?”

The statement is followed by general sounds of agreement. Levi would like to snort quietly to dismiss the comment, but the sudden burst of nerves in his gut forces his teeth together. He watches Isabel sprint into the house ahead of everyone else, opting to wait until all the others have walked in – even Moblit, who’s stayed behind to say goodbye to Hange. Levi nods at him when he walks past and draws a deep breath to steady his heartbeat. Just a hunt. Nothing to it. Nothing he hasn’t done since he was nine and Kenny first took him out with the pack.

But of course you could trust these hippies to do things in the weirdest fucking way possible.

Erwin talked him through it the previous night after their usual tutoring session, told him about the separate building the pack had at the edge of the forest where they could leave their clothes and other belongings and where they would return to wash up afterwards. It sounded pretty straight-forward and convenient, and Levi already pictured it in his mind when he lay in his bed and waited to fall asleep. What he certainly didn’t picture was a large space that, now that he sees it, makes him think of locker rooms at the gym, where everyone else has already chosen a spot and started taking their clothes off – all of them in the same room.

It takes Levi less than two seconds to turn his gaze firmly onto the tips of his shoes and even then he manages to see three things he’s in no way comfortable having in his memory for the rest of his sorry life: Nan’s sports bra, Moblit’s bare arms (surprisingly muscular and a thousand times more disturbing for it), and Erwin’s boxer briefs. Navy blue. A couple of white buttons on the fly.

Nope. Definitely never wanted to see that. It was much better before when Levi could imagine Erwin wore some baggy old man underpants that went all the way down to his knees.

He turns quickly to an unoccupied locker, barely noticing the craftsmanship on the wooden door of it before he pulls it open and hangs his towel inside, taking his time unzipping his hoodie to buy himself time. The only thing worse than seeing everyone else naked is the thought of them seeing him. So he stalls, takes a seat on the long bench that runs the length of the room and unties his shoelaces without hurry while keeping a sly eye on everyone else as they start to walk out, their excited voices changing into barks and howls nearly as soon as they’re past the door. Levi feels his heart skipping a beat at the sounds but he takes his time, making sure to fold all his clothes neatly into the locker and to roll up his socks into a little ball and to stuff them inside his tennis shoe. Only when he’s the last person left in the room does he pull off his sweatpants and underwear in one swift motion. He throws them hastily into the locker and slips into his fur a second later, nearly distracted by the scent of Erwin’s clothes on his way to the door.

The autumn air feels gentler when he greets it like this, bouncing down the steps from the door to the damp grass, the wolf in him losing its shit over it all, the scents, the sounds, the look of his pack all around him. They all look so healthy, their coats shiny and thick, their eyes bright as they stop to regard him curiously from time to time. Levi spots Erwin and Mike standing side by side at the edge of the woods; the coloring of their fur is similar, white and grey with shades of brown here and there – much lighter than Levi’s own nearly black coat. They’re the largest wolves by far, Erwin looks double the size of anyone else – and Mike easily triple. Levi feels especially small looking at them, even after Isabel comes barrelling down across the grass and runs straight into his side. He snarls and bares his teeth for a second but turns to run a little further from her, only to have her following on his heels.

Erwin makes no sound to signal it’s time to go, but Levi knows – from now on, it’s all just knowing, and it feels better for all the months he’s spent feeling like everything’s out of place. They walk into the woods, past the tall pines and birches, wide paws softly disturbing the fallen leaves along their way. The land smells fresh and clean, Levi can already make out the scent of the deer in the distance, if very faint. There’s an excitement burning in his chest, his jaws are aching to bite down onto something living, his whole body feels ready to run and pounce and maim. It’s exhilarating, a feeling of both being home but of being there for the first time so everything’s still new and exciting. Levi takes his place and follows the rest of the pack when they start speeding to a slow run, happy to go wherever Erwin is leading them.

Underneath the canopy of trees, time quickly ceases to exist. The world turns into a harmony of sights and scents, like something Levi has a perfect map for in his head. Everything in the pathless wilderness is a sign of something familiar, something Levi’s somehow known from childhood though the knowledge transcends definitions and explanations. He has no words for things anymore – he doesn’t need words for them. He knows every plant by its scent, every trace of every animal too, and they register in his wolf mind as nameless but thoroughly known – like he himself does, just another link in the chain.

The scent of the prey is the main trail, the path that’s the easiest to follow. Levi can already picture them somewhere out in the distance, on a quiet meadow with their young, feeding on the last of the summer grass. Catching their smell fills his mouth with saliva, makes him dream of that iron-tangy taste of their flesh, and right then he’s not sure if he’s more wolf than human. He senses the others are eager too, though their eagerness seems more something they’re used to, less unbound and feral than his own. But then, they’ve all hunted more than once in the past six months, and that’s several times more than Levi has. They pay him little mind, less than he pays them – still a bit wary of what they expect, whether he needs to show his submission. But Erwin never demanded it and it seems the rest of the pack is following his example.

The alpha is a marvel to watch, every step so graceful, every move so full of concealed strength, and for the first time Levi doesn’t wonder why people chose to follow him without a challenge. Anyone who’s hunted with him must have seen what Levi sees, must have admired the tireless ease of his run, the thick gloss of his coat, the size and strength of his paws. The way he leads them is effortless, there’s none of the barking and growling Kenny used to do. It’s like they’re one mind, the alpha and his pack. Like they know exactly what needs to be done, read all his little cues without faltering once. Levi only picks them up after everyone else has, following the pack itself as much he follows Erwin. But it’s all a minor concern, a thing that barely registers in the back of his mind, because there’s really no difference between following the alpha and following the pack. They are one, and Levi along with them.

They approach the prey against the wind, slowing down once the distance has grown short enough and continuing more cautiously. Levi already feels the urge to run, all the pent-up energy rushing down to his limbs until they’re aching from the slow pace the alpha is keeping. Levi can sense the others growing alert, can see it in the way they prick up their ears and smell the air as they trot. Catching the scent, Levi can already tell what the prey is like: two deer, one younger one older. It’s a struggle for Levi to remind himself of what Erwin said before they left – all of that seems to belong in a different world. He tries to keep a hold of his rational mind, the part of him that’s human, the part of him that knows its place in the pack, that can tell the difference between now and before.

Still, when he sees the prey it all disappears in an instant.

His legs are moving before he can think, wide paws catching the hard ground underfoot to bring him speeding past the others, past Mike and Erwin. He’s deaf to their protests, deaf to everything else than the blood pumping in his ears, the months spent indoors suddenly rushing into his body and driving him out of his mind. The deer see him and start their own scrambling dash across the meadow, but to Levi it makes this all the more exciting. He senses Erwin running somewhere behind him – far enough so as not to catch him, and that’s all that matters. He catches the deer vanishing past the treeline, but that doesn’t slow him down. He forces more strength into his limbs, the forest blurs with the speed, then comes back into focus when he lands his jump and sinks his teeth into the deer’s neck. Its blood fills his mouth, its last-effort struggle forces him to tear at its throat. It barely takes a minute for it to lower itself onto the forest floor, and for Levi to let go of its flesh.

He licks at his face and paws, at the carcass in front of him, feeling the urge to feed on it already but knowing he needs to wait. When Erwin finally catches up to him, he drives Levi away from the carcass with bared teeth and a growl that’s both a warning and a reprimand. Levi pulls his tail between his legs and whimpers as he backs away, watching Erwin from a few yards away as he bites into the flesh of the deer and drags it back to the meadow where the rest of the pack is waiting. Levi follows him at a distance, keeping his belly lowered as he sneaks forward, dropping down onto the dry grass at the edge of the forest and laying his head onto his front paws. He licks his snout again, tasting a few more drops of blood but not daring to walk over to the rest of them. He watches Erwin when he starts to eat, tearing through the hide to get to the organs. Levi remembers the taste of them, how he would feed on them with Kenny and rarely leave any of the good bits to the others. At that moment, it seems like it must have happened to someone else.

Isabel joins Erwin in just a minute, growling excitedly as she tears at the lining of the deer’s stomach. Levi can’t help a quiet whine escaping his throat then as he pushes back to his feet and starts pacing back and forth along the treeline, every once in a while daring a step closer but always changing his mind when he remembers the length of the alpha’s bared teeth. He tries lying down again to give his body a rest after the taxing rush, but the smell of the blood and raw flesh won’t let him settle down. He tries approaching from the alpha’s blind spot but it’s no use. He’s driven back with another growl and a bark on top of that.

Fuck. Erwin’s really not pleased.

Levi’s forced to watch from the side lines as others eat and knowing he would’ve been right there next to Isabel if he’d just kept himself in check makes it feel even worse. Erwin only allows him his share once half the pack have had theirs and by then there are no organs left. Levi tears a big chunk of muscle out of the deer’s hind leg and retreats back to the treeline to eat it, keeping an eye on the others to make sure they won’t challenge him for it. They let him feed in peace and once they continue the hunt, even Erwin stops by to quickly sniff at his face as a sign of forgiveness that Levi gladly accepts.

Once they come to the next prey, Levi steadies himself and lets Erwin and Mike run down the prey even though his whole body is aching to follow them. When the alpha lets out a howl to signal their location to the pups and their minders, the others pick it up too, filling the woods and making Levi’s heart race in his chest. Somewhere close the others answer and then, somewhere very far, Levi thinks he can hear another quiet howl, like an echo of their own: his wolves at the zoo.

They can all hear the pups coming long before they reach the clearing; they rustle noisily through the brush, yelping and barking and howling as they come. Levi keeps his distance while the pack greets them, noticing Edith at the other end of the meadow but making no move to approach her. The pups flock to Erwin most of all, wagging their little tails as they circle him and whine, all trying to reach up to lick and bite the sides of his mouth. He leads them to the carcasses and helps them rip through the hide. They come away with blood all the way up their faces and paws, chasing each other away from the food and play fighting in the grass.

Levi only feeds when Isabel does, approaching cautiously to see Erwin’s reaction, but the alpha makes no move to stop him. Levi gets a big chunk of the liver and eats it with good appetite, going back for seconds while Erwin’s still eating. His eyes meet the alpha’s but he turns away quickly, keeping his body low while he’s tearing at the flesh. He carries it off again and tries to eat it in peace, but to his dismay the pups have found him. They seem to have some kind of a game going where they’re trying to see who has the guts to get the closest to him. He watches them crawling toward him through the grass, pointy ears visible above the yellow tufts. Once Mikasa makes it all the way to the tips of his paws, Levi picks up his food and moves further only to have them follow him a couple minutes later. He chases them off with a growl and they run back to their minders, running around Edith’s legs for a few minutes and then come straight back to pester Levi some more. In the end he gives up and lies down in the grass, letting the little idiots climb onto his back and bite his ears. He sees Erwin watching – another incentive to behave himself.

They stay in the clearing for the whole day, just lying in the sun and playing with each other. Once the pups get sick of him, Levi stays mostly by himself, resting and watching the others – and Erwin most of all. He can’t help thinking back to hunting with his old pack, how Kenny would refuse to let anyone join the party unless they had showed him submission first. Even after the hunting was done, Kenny would go around from wolf to wolf and demand respect. Erwin doesn’t do any of that, doesn’t bat an eye when Nan nips at his hind legs and gets him to chase her around the meadow. Levi expected the alpha to come to him for something at least, if not a full back flop then at least a quick lick behind the ear or something. Guess he shouldn’t be so surprised. It’s not as if Erwin’s done anything else Levi thought an alpha would do.

The pups only stay for a few hours but the rest of them don’t start back until sundown, following the smell of home back through the forest. Levi can feel the day in his body; that blissful ache that follows a hunt and will have him collapsing into his bed once the day is done. He senses the tiredness in the others too, in how their steps have slowed down from earlier. The walk back seems to take a long time, though while he’s still in his fur, Levi has trouble telling just how long it’s taken them to finally get back to the building at the edge of the woods.

Levi stays behind and watches as the others transform and start climbing the stairs up to the locker room, their necks and chests still showing the signs of the hunt. He counts them in his mind as they go, making sure he’s the last one left when he finally sneaks to the door, listening to the room emptying before making the shift and stepping into the room. He walks quickly to his locker and pulls out his towel, hesitating for a moment between peering into the adjoining shower room and just marching in with his eyes on the floor. Not fucking natural, not any of it. Everyone showering together? Like some damn polygamous hippie cult.

The blood and grime are a stench on his skin though on his fur he barely noticed it and in the end Levi grits his teeth and steps inside, catching a glimpse of a half a dozen naked bodies – and that’s half a dozen too many. He makes his way to the corner shower at a strange half-run half-sneak, hanging his towel on a hook nearby. He keeps his face to the wall at all times, even turning slightly toward the corner for added comfort, but even so he feels unnaturally naked. Even worse than showering after gym class.

“Hey, Levi!” Nan calls out from across the room. When Levi turns to look, he catches the sight of Mike washing Erwin’s back and shudders. “Need a hand?”

“No I’m good,” Levi shouts in a hurried answer before turning away and focusing on the pale traces of blood against the white tiled floor.

He’s the last left in the showers and he takes the opportunity to dry every part of his body so when he finally walks out into the locker room, he can dash over to his clothes and pull on his underwear at top speed – the most critical thing, though he’s nearly as conscious about his noodle arms and chicken legs as he is about his junk. He knows that no one’s paying any attention to him but he keeps feeling the discomfort until he’s finally fully clothed, the damp towel hanging around his neck as he steps out, again the last to leave. The air feels refreshingly cool after the humid heat of the showers. He sees the beams of flashlights in the distance and rushes down the stairs to follow them when someone calls out his name from the shadows: Erwin.

“I thought I’d wait for you,” he says, flicking on a large flashlight and following Levi down the stairs. “Do you mind?”

“No. It’s okay,” Levi tells him, clearing his throat a little when they start walking side by side. He catches the smell of damp hair coming off the man and suddenly he’s so relieved he kept his eyes to himself in the shower.

“I also wanted to make sure there’s no hard feelings,” Erwin says after they’ve walked together for a while. “I know I was quite hard on you during the hunt.”

Levi shrugs. “No, I get it,” he replies, pushing his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “I didn’t have things under control. I just… haven’t been out hunting in a long time.”

“I think it’s understandable you’d get excited,” Erwin tells him. “Is that what you did in your uncle’s pack? Ran down the prey?”

“Just the smaller kind,” Levi says. “Anything with a good throat to bite.”

Erwin nods along. “I hope you know I didn’t react the way I did because I thought you’d done a bad job,” he says. “It was obvious you knew what you were doing. I just didn’t think it was the right course of action on your first hunt with us.”

“No, I get that,” Levi tells him, glancing up from the beam of light on the grass and catching the glint of Erwin’s eyes. “I just… got carried away I guess.”

“You’re a very skilled hunter.” The compliment makes Levi’s face grow warm. “I’m sure we’ll have use for that in the future.”

“Thanks,” Levi mutters, rubbing at the back of his head.

They fall quiet and it brings Levi’s focus back on the smell of Erwin he catches whenever the breeze isn’t blowing it out and drowning it with other scents: the house and Edith, the little something she’s cooking for them to eat – something with tomatoes. Beyond that Levi thinks he can smell something else, something familiar that he can’t quite place. He lets it go when Erwin speaks again.

“I know…” he starts, words trailing off before he clears his throat and tries again. “I know you’ve had kind of a rocky start here. But I really hope you’ll come to like it here – maybe even to think of it as home one day. Though I don’t want to pressure you or–”

“No, it’s…” Levi interrupts him, following his words with a lengthy silence and a shrug. “I mean… I don’t _hate it_ here, you know. Or anything. So…”

Another long silence, like Erwin’s waiting for him to continue. In the end he just lets out a quiet laugh. Levi senses the pleasure he feels – oddly intense, like Levi’s words have made him feel really relieved.

“I’m happy to hear that,” he tells Levi gently. “I’ve been worried that you…”

His words start sounding confused before they trail off again and when Levi looks up he can see what has derailed the man’s thoughts. A police car stands parked in front of the house, partially blocking the hybrid on the drive way. Through the window Levi can see several people seated around the kitchen island: Edith and two strangers, one of them in uniform, the other in a grey suit. The unease the sight gives him settles right into his bones and makes his hands tingle when he follows Erwin up the stairs in a run.

“What is it?” Erwin asks as soon as they’ve both entered the kitchen and greeted Edith; Levi can hear he’s trying to keep his tone casual but the scent of uncertainty coming off him betrays his words.

“Good evening, Mr. Smith,” the other man at the table says, standing up and extending his hand, which Erwin shakes quickly. “Hank Murphy with Child Protective Services. This is officer Aiblinger.”

Levi’s eyes shift from one to the other and his brows furrow. He’s seen the officer before, loitering around in the trailer park with Kenny; he’s almost sure his uncle’s cut a deal with him on something so he’ll keep everyone out of their business.

“I was just explaining the situation to your mother,” Murphy goes on, glancing behind himself at Edith. “We were contacted by a Mr. Kenny Ackerman whose nephew Levi ran away several months ago. He said the boy might be living with you so – I’m sure you understand – we had to come and see what the situation is.”

“Of course,” Erwin says, his voice still neutral. “I understand.”

“And you must be Levi?” Murphy asks, turning to look past Erwin.

When the man’s eyes meet his, Levi doesn’t know what to say or do other than to shrug and mutter, “Yeah, that’s me. Kenny’s my uncle.”

“Hello, Levi,” the man says to him and attempts a smile that makes Levi’s skin crawl. “You know your uncle has missed you very much.”

“Uh-huh,” Levi mutters, looking around himself at Edith and Erwin, who are both looking nearly as lost as he is. For a long time no one speaks as a feeling of discomfort and awkwardness settles into the room.

“I think we all ought to sit down and have a conversation about your situation,” Murphy finally says, drawing himself a chair and sitting down.

Edith and Erwin follow his example, but when Levi attempts to take his place around the island, Murphy speaks again.

“Actually, Levi, if you don’t mind,” he says, “I’d like to speak just among us adults first and later I’d like to have a private conversation with you. Just us. Would that be alright?”

“Uhh…” Levi hesitates for a few seconds, looking around himself again without knowing what to say or do.

“It’s okay,” Edith finally assures him, smiling briefly. “I’m sure this won’t take long. Just go and wait in your room.”

“Okay.” Levi barely gets the word out.

He runs up the stairs and closes the door behind himself, starting to pace quickly back and forth before trying to sit still on his bed. No use, his legs won’t keep still and he stands up again, going from corner to corner and biting the nail of his right thumb. His mind is empty except for a few choice swearwords repeating over and over, and a few questions following each other in a similar circle. What should he do? Run? Would Erwin and Edith be able to sort it out? Would he have to go back? Then again from the beginning.

Levi walks to the window and opens it, tries to get some fresh air to clear his mind, but all it manages to do it to remind him how cold the nights have gotten. No way to live rough. What do runaways do when it gets cold? What does CPS do with minors who’ve run away from home? Levi can’t believe how fucking stupid he’s been, not looking this stuff up, and how fucking dumb it’s been of Erwin and Edith not to make sure he’s good to stay with them. He remembers Farlan asking about it but even then he never thought he’d have to worry about something like this. He never thought Kenny would get the authorities involved. He never thought the man would bother with just a couple months left until Levi’s eighteenth birthday. He remembers Kenny’s threats at the gas station and suddenly it hits him; the worst question of all.

What if he has to go back?

He’d just run away again. He’d just run away and come straight back here, as many times as it would take. Kenny wouldn’t start any more trouble than this, get fucking Child Protective Services snooping around the trailer park. He’s just trying to one-up Erwin, to show that he can make his life difficult. Fucking alphas. Turning Levi’s life into a fucking pissing contest. Who has the bigger dick. Would gladly kill the both of them right now.

Levi waits for Murphy for exactly 47 minutes. He knows because he keeps glancing up at his alarm clock every couple of seconds, whenever he’s at that end of the room he’s still pacing across, his thumbnail now gnawed down to the flesh. The man knocks before he walks in with officer Aiblinger who stays at the doorway while Murphy takes a seat in the desk chair. Levi sinks onto the bed, his foot drumming against the floor, and he has to cross his hands to keep from destroying the rest of his nails.

“So, Levi,” the man starts, clearly trying to sound calming and pleasant, but on Levi it seems to have the opposite effect; it makes him feel sick to his stomach. “I’ve had a little talk with both your uncle and with Erwin and Edith now, but I’d still like to hear about the situation straight from you. Would that be okay?”

“Uhh…” Levi voices, glancing quickly at the officer by his door before nodding and saying, “Sure.”

“Okay, good. Thank you for that,” Murphy says, pulling a little notepad out of his pocket. “First I’d like to explain your situation to you a little bit. If you don’t mind?”

“Sure,” Levi says – and he really doesn’t.

“Well, you know yourself that you’re still under eighteen, which makes you a minor,” the man tells him calmly. “Our protocols dictate that when a minor has run away from home, if the parents or guardians wish for them to return home, our job will be to locate the minor and do exactly that.”

Levi can feel his stomach lurching like he’s about to have the shits, and he wouldn’t be surprised to taste vomit in his mouth.

“But there are exceptions,” Murphy continues quickly. “If it turns out that the minor has run away because of difficult circumstances at home – if there’s been neglect or abuse, for example – we’ll of course not return a child into that environment. Do you understand?”

Levi nods, then adds, “Yeah.” He’s biting his thumbnail again.

“So what we do in situations like that,” Murphy goes on, “is to place the minor temporarily in one of our youth shelters where they’ll be under our care and their parents cannot come and demand they be returned back home.”

“Right,” Levi mutters, his brain going a million miles per second and he’d like to ask what happens after this temporary placement. Do they go into the system? Foster care? But Murphy’s already continuing and Levi can’t get a word out.

“So now I’d like to ask you a little bit about this whole situation,” he says and Levi nods without speaking. “Well, if we start from the beginning… Why did you run away?”

Levi thinks back to that night, to Kenny and the welding torch and the scar on his neck. He can’t say any of that, can’t tell that story to these people. There’s no explaining something like that to humans, about packs and bites and alphas. And if he told them without adding in all that, they’d think Kenny’s some kind of fucking psycho who goes around setting kids on fire. They’d lock him up for sure, and who could blame them? No matter what’s happened, Kenny’s still his uncle, his only flesh and blood. He doesn’t want him rotting away in some fucking cell. He looks at the officer. It’s no fucking coincidence that he’s here either, out of all the officers they could’ve sent. Can’t be a coincidence. He’ll report it all back to Kenny if nothing else.

“I don’t know,” Levi finally says and shrugs, trying to think of the best course of action but panicking. “Just did.”

“So there wasn’t any incident that took place or…?” Murphy goes on, looking at Levi with a sympathetic frown. “Anything that might have happened to make you want to leave home?”

Levi glances at the officer again and shakes his head at once. “No.”

Murphy takes a little break and sighs before looking down at his notebook. “You see, I was told by Edith and Erwin that there might have been something that happened between your uncle and you. Some sort of misunderstanding?”

Levi can hear the officer shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He can sense the man’s impatience and hear the way his fingers keep drumming against his belt.

“No,” Levi says again, thinking of the blue flame of the welding torch and the pain as it burned his hand. “No, there wasn’t anything like that.”

“Didn’t I tell ya?” Aiblinger says, sounding almost triumphant. “I’ve known Kenny my whole life. No way he would do something like that. Just no way. He adores the kid, always has.”

“Thank you, officer,” Murphy says and it sounds to Levi like he’s trying to shut him up. He leans closer to Levi and says, “Can you help me out here though? I just… don’t understand why Edith and Erwin would say something like that if it doesn’t have any truth to it.”

Levi tries to think but his thoughts are all muddled. Did Erwin and Edith tell Murphy that because they want Levi to stay with them? Or were they just too chicken shit to lie to a government official? Or where they hoping to get Kenny into trouble with the law? Or maybe all of those things? Do they even know about all that stuff that Murphy just told Levi about, the temporary placements and all that? And if they do, why didn’t they make sure this wouldn’t happen? Why didn’t they make sure Kenny wouldn’t be able to call CPS on them and have Levi brought back? It was a shit thing to do, bringing all that up and forcing the decision of what to say to Levi, what details to give and how bad to make things for Kenny. He doesn’t know what to think, and the sick, disgusting feeling is spreading from his stomach to his chest. If he says that Kenny did something, what would he say he did? What lie would he make up? If they found out he was lying, could Kenny sue him for defamation or some shit? Levi glances again at the officer by the door and shrugs.

“I told them that’s what happened but…” he starts and shrugs again. “It didn’t.”

“So you lied?”

Levi can’t think of anything else he can do so he shrugs a third time and doesn’t speak even when Murphy lets out a heavy sigh.

“There was another thing I wanted to ask you about,” he says, looking down at his notepad again. “Why did you come _here_? Did you know the Smiths beforehand or… had you had any interactions with–”

“No, I didn’t know them,” Levi interrupts the man, wondering if Kenny’s said something to make him ask that. “I just knew that they’ve got foster kids, so I knew they’d take me in if I made up some stuff about Kenny and all that.”

Murphy nods his head for a few seconds, looking at Levi with that frown still lining his forehead. Levi senses his hesitation, the way he’s trying to make heads and tails of the situation so he can be sure he’s come to the right decision.

“I mean, I want to stay here,” Levi tells him, hoping it will be enough, glancing at officer Aiblinger but going on anyway. “I’d really prefer to live here than with Kenny.”

“Well, you see,” Murphy starts, closing his notepad and putting it back into his pocket, “your uncle has requested that you be brought back home, and he is your legal guardian. If there’s been no abusive behaviour it doesn’t matter where you would rather live. The law says you need to be taken back home.”

Levi can feel that sickening feeling creeping up his throat.

“Well what…” he starts and stops, bites his nail for a few seconds, glancing at Aiblinger. “I mean, what counts as abusive behaviour?”

“It means if your uncle has done something to cause you physical or emotional harm,” Murphy explains while the officer clears his throat. “Or on the other hand if he’s neglected to do something to prevent that.”

Levi searches his brain, tries to think of anything beyond the welding torch, any time Kenny has hit him or smacked him about or shouted at him or called him names, and all the time the picture of the trailer park keeps getting more vivid in his head until he can practically smell it. He can’t think of anything, not anything he could say out loud to Murphy beyond “he never helped me with my homework.” Fucking ridiculous. There’s nothing he can say.

“Are you sure there’s nothing in your uncle’s behaviour that–”

“Yeah,” Levi interrupts him and grits his teeth. “Yeah, I’m sure. There’s nothing. He’s not like that.”

Murphy sighs again. “Well, in that case,” he says, standing up, “I’ll take you back home tonight. I’ll give you some time to pack up your things. Okay?”

“Yeah,” Levi says, barely hearing himself from how badly his ears are ringing. He can’t believe it’s happening. He can’t believe it.

It can’t have been longer than a few seconds until Edith comes in, trying to keep herself together but sniffling, her voice so shaky she can barely get a sentence out. Levi doesn’t understand why but at that moment he finds it the most fucking annoying thing in the world.

“Levi,” she starts as he stands up from the bed, grabbing his arms when he tries to pass her. “Levi, I am so so–”

“Stop it,” Levi tells her through gritted teeth, stepping out of her grasp when she tries to touch him again. “Don’t.”

“Levi, I just–”

“I said stop it!” he snaps at her, pushing her arms down when she tries to wrap them around him. “Just fucking stop it, I don’t want you near me, I don’t want anything–”

“But Levi, I just want to…” Her words disappear and she swallows with effort, catching Levi by the elbow when he’s already at the door, flinching when he throws her off again. “Levi, where are you going? We haven’t packed any of your–”

“I’m not taking any of it,” he tells her firmly. “I don’t want any of your fucking charity.”

“But we bought it for–”

“Just fucking leave it!” Levi yells, his chest aching when he sees the tears on her cheeks. “Are you fucking deaf?! I told you I don’t want any of the crap you bought me! I don’t want anything from you.”

Levi hears her saying something but doesn’t care. He storms down the stairs, running into Erwin on the landing. Just the sight of the man makes rage well up in his chest. Fucking idiot. Fucking sat in his office every fucking day and couldn’t file a fucking form or something to make sure Levi was there legally and permanently. Couldn’t do that much. Sure he’d done it for Isabel, for every single one of the brats. But not him. And he promised. Erwin fucking promised him.

“Levi,” he speaks, grabbing Levi’s arm and forcing him to stop. “Levi, I promise, we’re going to sort this out. Alright? I’m going to–”

“Go fuck yourself,” Levi hisses, pulling his arm free.

In the end Levi doesn’t turn around to take one last look at the house. He doesn’t look up at the people gathered around the police car, doesn’t hear their questions, doesn’t care to. He doesn’t look up to see the view outside the police car window but he can tell when they’ve arrived, can feel the trailer park in his bones – like a fucking cancer eating at his insides. He slams the door and marches to the house, dodging Kenny’s show of a hug before storming into his room.

It’s exactly as he left it, the pelts in disarray on the bed, the old, second-hand clothes in a pile on the floor. Everything stinks, reeks of death and resentment and anger. And still the worst scent is the one coming off Levi himself, off his clothes, his skin, and that scar on his neck – the one that makes him ache the most.


End file.
